


Extremities

by dreamsofspike



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-13
Updated: 2011-09-11
Packaged: 2017-10-11 01:50:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 24
Words: 57,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/107000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamsofspike/pseuds/dreamsofspike
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the Idols get together for a reunion concert, they are all thrilled to see each other again after a year apart. Their lives have all changed, and they have lots of news -- but none of them know how much all of their lives will change in the next 24 hours. A life-threatening world-wide pandemic begins claiming lives around them. Lives are lost, lines are drawn, and loyalties are tested as the Idols and their loved ones have to find a way to survive in a dramatically changed and intensely dangerous new world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS: character death, violence, homophobia/hate speech, general dark-and-disturbingness (this is apocalypse!fic)

“Up next… we’ll discuss the influenza outbreak that is weakening work forces across the country. With the question of how long it will take to bring this epidemic under control, and the constant threat that the virus might mutate hanging over their heads, health officials are worried about the impact of this disease on the growing health – and health _insurance_ – crises…”

 

The television screen abruptly went black, and Kris blinked, momentarily startled, before turning to face his wife. Katy had found the remote control to the television attached to the wall near the ceiling of the intimately sized, comfortable banquet room to which their group had been assigned. Kris gave her a vaguely questioning look, and she smiled back at him, setting the remote aside.

 

“We haven’t had everyone together in the same room for nearly a year. I don’t think anyone’s going to want to watch television.” She nodded toward the blank screen as she slowly crossed the room to where Kris stood near the doorway. “Especially a downer of a story like that.”

 

Kris nodded his agreement, returning her smile and trying to put the concerns aroused by the news report out of his mind. This was supposed to be an exciting, happy time. It was the first time in the history of American Idol that the show’s producers had organized a reunion concert in Los Angeles. Given the amazing success of nearly all of the top ten from their season, it had seemed appropriate, and the one-night event had sold out in just over three days.

 

_She’s right. This is the first time the Season Eight Idols and their families have been together since… well, I can’t_ remember _the last time we were_ all _together like this._

 

His smile widened, becoming more genuine, as he thought of his friends, some of whom had already arrived at the hotel, others of whom were due any minute. Adam of course lived in LA, and Allison lived close enough to drive in and home on the same day, but both had opted instead to take advantage of the complimentary rooms that had been offered to them and stay at the hotel with the others the night before the show.

 

The hotel had provided them with this room, where they were going to enjoy a catered dinner for the Idols and their loved ones. They had the room for as long as they wanted, at which point they could retire to the entire floor of the hotel that had been reserved for them. In fact, the management had gone so far as to ensure that the floor below theirs was not being used, either.

 

“So we can run up and down the halls and go back and forth between everybody’s rooms as much as we want!” Allison had squealed, holding both of Adam’s hands and bouncing as if she was – well, pretty much her actual age. “It’s gonna be like one gigantic slumber party!”

 

Kris had rolled his eyes and looked toward Adam for support – only to find that Adam seemed nearly as excited at the prospect as Allie did. And after a moment, Kris had had no choice but to admit that really, he found the idea pretty appealing as well.

 

He and Katy were the first to arrive in the banquet room, and they were still alone, so Kris leaned in to give Katy a sweet, tender kiss before drawing back to meet her eyes. He opened his mouth to speak – not yet sure what was going to come out, only that it was going to be a pitiful attempt to convey in words what he felt for her – but closed it again when they heard the sound of familiar voices approaching down the hall.

 

Kris looked up with eager anticipation before meeting Katy’s dancing eyes again. She looked just as excited about all of this as he was. Kris squeezed her hands gently before releasing her and heading toward the door to greet his friends, his thoughts fully distracted by the prospect of the reunion the next two days would be for them.

 

_Yeah… this is going to be epic._

 

*********************************

 

The dinner was delicious – not that anyone was paying attention to the food.

 

They were far too busy catching up with one another, trading stories of their various personal and professional successes over the course of the past year.

 

Adam’s second CD had debuted at number one just two weeks earlier. He and Drake had just moved into a beautiful home outside of LA. Everyone already knew those details, however, due to the extensive press Adam attracted everywhere he went these days. The news that Kris and Katy were trying for a baby came as a much greater surprise, and delighted their friends.

 

Each of the other Idols had at least signed a recording contract since the Season Eight finale, and released albums that had met with at least moderate success. Michael’s wife was pregnant again. Matt introduced them all to Lisa, his serious girlfriend of eight months. Megan’s and Anoop’s news was perhaps the most celebrated and least surprising of all.

 

“I knew you two were hooking up on tour!” Allison crowed triumphantly, bouncing in her seat with excitement. “It was so obvious!”

 

“Actually – we weren’t,” Megan insisted, laughing. “That’s what’s so ironic about it. Everybody kept pushing for it and we were both just like, ugh, _no_ – and then one day we did a promotional event together…”

 

“… and she looked _amazing_,” Anoop cut in, looking to Megan for help with the details. “In this… it was that royal blue strapless thing…”

 

“… and I’d never seen him in a tux before…” Megan agreed with a nod as she turned her eyes back toward the listening group.

 

“Just chalk it up to the magical power of formal wear,” Matt quipped, gaining a laugh from the group that had more to do with Anoop’s and Megan’s good news than with the actual humor of the joke.

 

They stayed in the banquet room until the food and drink was gone, then took the party upstairs to their floor, where they lingered until the early hours of the morning, drifting between rooms, talking and laughing and reminiscing about the tour a year earlier – making memories that were definitely of the epic variety Kris had envisioned.

 

Few of them were awake before noon the next day – but it was more than worth it.

 

****************************************

 

“Come on, time to go!”

 

Anoop’s muffled voice called through the door of Kris and Katy’s hotel room, a moment after the sharp series of knocks he administered. Katy was hurriedly finishing her hair, a gold bobby pin between her lips as she used both hands to position her hair on top of her head. She glanced at Kris, expecting him to answer, before rolling her eyes and saying something around the bobby pin that she hoped Anoop could translate as agreement.

 

She took the pin from her mouth and put it in her hair, inspecting the results critically as she addressed her husband.

 

“Baby, come on. Turn that off. We have to go.”

 

Kris was leaning against the headboard, one arm braced behind his head, a troubled expression on his lips as he watched CNN – which was in and of itself a little unusual. Kris liked to stay informed, but on a Sunday afternoon like this one, he was usually much more likely to be watching a game or something. When he didn’t answer, Katy momentarily directed her attention toward the screen.

 

“… for the greater part, non-fatal. As with any ordinary strain of flu, the elderly and small children are considered to be at greatest risk. At this point, the CDC says that the virus has shown no signs of mutation. Officials hope to have a vaccine ready within the week, and until then the best thing to do is to follow the rules of good hygiene – wash hands often, and don’t share…”

 

The talking head on the screen abruptly vanished with his words, and Katy gave Kris a vaguely questioning look. He shook his head dismissively as he got up from the bed and headed toward the door.

 

“Hey,” she called him back gently, reaching out to touch his arm so that he reluctantly turned to face her. “You okay, baby? What’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing,” he insisted with a smile. “It’s just… I’ve seen epidemics before, and… sometimes I just forget that we live in a place with advanced medicine and care.” He gave her a self-deprecating little smirk, rolling his eyes. “The flu doesn’t kill people here.”

 

“No,” she agreed, raising a tender hand to touch his cheek. “No, it doesn’t. Now quit worrying and think about the kick awesome show you’re all gonna put on tonight!”

 

As the buses pulled out of the hotel parking lot and headed for the arena, Kris was caught up in conversation with Adam and Drake, who were seated across from them at the tiny table near the center of the bus. He wasn’t looking toward the window – and Katy was glad.

 

_He’s worried enough already – hopefully about nothing._

 

The cavalcade of military vehicles she had just seen passing them would certainly do nothing to put his fears to rest.

 

*************************************

 

By the time they left the stage together that night, Kris was delirious with the adrenaline and sheer joy of performing with his friends again. Despite the schedules and distance that kept most of them separated most of the time, there was a bond they shared that few could comprehend.

 

The finale number left them all breathless and laughing, hugging each other and fairly staggering toward the backstage area. They were barely out of sight of the cheering, screaming crowd before Adam pulled Kris into an impulsive hug – the full-on, innocently intimate kind that Kris still remembered the feel of so well, even after all this time.

 

Adam drew back, his eyes dancing with joy as he took in Kris’s matching expression.

 

“_That_. Was freakin’ _amazing_.” Kris grinned, swallowing to dampen his dry mouth – then wincing at the slight pain the motion caused.

 

“You okay?” Adam asked as they followed the others back toward the dressing room area.

 

“Yeah, fine. Just out of practice,” Kris replied with a self-deprecating laugh. “My last tour ended six weeks ago, and this is my first full-length concert since then.”

 

“Full-length concert, my ass,” Adam scoffed good-naturedly. “You sang like – five songs. I’d be halfway through my first set.”

 

“Yeah, well – my vocal chords aren’t used to the years of abuse you’ve put yours through.”

 

Kris countered, following it up with a weak imitation of one of Adam’s trademark scream notes. Adam laughed when the exaggerated scream ended in a choked little cough. Kris grimaced, raising a hand to touch his throat.

 

“Ow.”

 

“Poor baby,” Adam teased, raising an affectionate hand to gently squeeze the back of Kris’s neck, a soft smirk on his lips. “You should leave that sort of thing to the masters.”

 

They slowed their pace, distracted by the sight of one of the other Idols and their families, stopped in front of a very stressed, agitated handler. Several of the Idols were asking questions at once, and the handler was holding up her hands in frustration, trying to regain control.

 

“We don’t know what’s going on for sure yet,” the handler said, addressing a question that both Kris and Adam had missed. “We’re trying to find that out. In the meantime, we’ve arranged for you and your families to wait in a room that’s a little more… _away_, from the more public parts of the building. Please follow me, guys, and once I’ve gotten you set up, I’ll make sure the rest of your families make it back here, and then see what I can do about finding out some more information.”

 

Kris frowned, automatically scanning the little group for Katy, who had apparently not made her way back yet, as they followed the handler deeper into the building. “Wait for what?” he mused, not really asking anyone in particular. “What’s happening?”

 

Danny turned to face him, a worried expression on his face. “During the concert some military guys came into the arena and now they’re not letting anyone leave.”

 

Adam’s eyes widened with alarm. “Why not?”

 

“We don’t know yet. She said they’re trying to figure it out.”

 

“Terrorists?” Michael guessed, his voice hushed and cautious, a frown creasing his brow.

 

“No.” Adam shook his head, biting his lower lip, his expression troubled and thoughtful. “If it was terrorists – like a bomb or something – they’d be getting everybody _out_ of the building.”

 

Their conversation dropped off as the handler unlocked the door to a large room and led them inside. It was an area that appeared to be used as dressing rooms, though not the same dressing rooms with which they’d been provided. It was really just one large area separated with many portable dividers which could be arranged for privacy. There were several small refrigerators and water coolers in various spots throughout the room, as well as a couple of televisions and radios. There were dozens of folding seats, as well as a few more comfortable armchairs and two large sofas.

 

It looked like as comfortable a place as any to wait out – whatever this was.

 

“Wait here, and keep the door locked,” the handler advised from the doorway. “We’ve chosen this room because it’s secluded, but you never know with some fans. Don’t let anyone in but me.”

 

“Maybe it _is_ terrorists,” Danny suggested abruptly as soon as she’d left, his eyes wide and fearful. “And maybe they’re not letting anyone leave because they think the terrorists are still here!”

 

“No, that’s ridiculous,” Adam argued, shaking his head. “If there was a legitimate threat, they’d be trying to make sure nobody got hurt, I would think…”

 

“Um… guys?”

 

Something about Anoop’s tone drew their attention away from the argument, and they all turned to see him staring down at his blackberry. He was silent for a long, tense moment, thumb scrolling quickly down his screen to take in whatever it was he was reading. When he looked up, his eyes were wide and stricken, and he swallowed hard before speaking in a slow, hushed voice.

 

“I think we’d better turn on the TV.”


	2. Chapter 2

The expression on Anoop's face had most of the others frozen in their tracks. Kris felt his own stomach twist with fear as he took it in. Fortunately, it had the opposite effect on a few others -- among them Adam, whose long legs carried him across the room to the television, with Danny and Megan just a few steps behind him.

 

He flipped the switch, and no one made a sound as the deep, official-sounding voice of a newscaster spoke, moments before his face slowly faded into focus. Kris felt a little sicker as he noted the MTV logo in the bottom corner of the screen, and realized how serious the situation must be to warrant such a newscast on a station which ordinarily carried nothing more serious than the latest celebrity gossip and reality show fluff.

 

_Oh, God. Where’s Katy? God, please get her here to me safely…_

 

"... contrary to the projections of the experts who've been monitoring the situation, has mutated. I repeat, the H2N3 flu virus _has mutated_. According to the CDC, this new mutation of the virus is far more dangerous than its predecessor, with 75% fatality, and nearly 100% communicability. We want to be certain that this is perfectly clear: this means that anyone who has come into contact with someone who is infected with this new strain of the virus will almost certainly become infected. For those who are infected – their chances of survival are roughly one in four. If you think you may have been infected, your best course of action is to remain indoors so as to prevent spreading the infection, and contact your local health care provider. The CDC, in conjunction with the U.S. military and the Department of Health, is sending aid to all majorly populated areas to assist in administering care to the infected and managing appropriate quarantine procedures..."

 

"Quarantine," Danny echoed, his voice barely over a hoarse whisper, his eyes wide and horrified. As each of the others slowly turned their attention toward him, he met their gazes in turn, his voice gradually rising with panic as he continued. "That's what this is, right? That's why they won't let anyone leave. Someone in the arena has the virus, and so the whole place is under quarantine. But if you have contact with anyone who has it, you're gonna get it -- which means _everyone_ is gonna get it, sooner or later – which means three out of four people in this room is going to _die_—!"

 

Kris felt his stomach lurch with rising panic, and he wanted to flee the room, wanted to rush out into the crowds and search until he found his wife and knew that she was safe.

 

_Katy… God,_ Katy…!

 

"Danny, shut up," Adam snapped, his voice taut and sharp, though there was unmistakable fear in his eyes as he glanced around with concern at his friends, all of whom were beginning to reflect that same fear as they took in the implications of the newscast in relation to Danny's nearly hysterical outburst. "We don't know anything yet. Let's not freak out until we hear back from..."

 

"From who?" Danny cut him off, shaking his head and letting out a humorless, breathless laugh. "From that handler -- Jessica, was it? -- who specializes in making sure our _dressing rooms_ are ready and bringing us _sodas_ before the _shows_? Yeah. Because the freakin' U.S. military is gonna be totally straight with her and tell _her_ everything we need to know!"

 

"Danny, chill," Kris softly advised.

 

His own voice was trembling slightly, but the edge to Adam’s words had forced him to focus on the immediate situation. He, like Adam, had recognized the potential for disaster that this situation held if they could not manage to keep everyone calm. Kris was standing nearer to Danny than Adam was, and he reached out a gentle but firm hand to rest on the other man's arm, drawing his attention and holding his gaze until Danny seemed to calm down enough to listen.

 

"Come on, man. We won't help anything by getting everybody all scared to death. Let's just..." He raised his voice slightly, looking away from Danny and around at the others as he addressed them all. "Let's just... try to stay calm until we hear something, okay?" He glanced toward the television, biting his lower lip uncertainly before suggesting, "And, uh... maybe we should turn that off for now."

 

Megan reached around Adam for the switch, but he gently caught her wrist, shaking his head as he met Kris's eyes. "No," he argued with quiet, calm certainty. "We need to leave it on. We don't know when they're going to let us out of here, or how much they're going to tell us. Any information we can get from the outside can only help."

 

Kris hesitated, troubled by the fears he could see forming in the eyes of his friends as a result of the newscast, and wary of the kind of panic and hysteria he could already see building in a few of their faces – evidenced by Danny’s reaction. Ultimately, however, Kris was forced to admit that Adam was right.

 

The more information they had, the better armed they would be to face -- whatever was happening.

 

“Maybe we should go talk to somebody,” he suggested after a moment, sick with worry as he glanced toward the door, wishing for Jessica to return with the rest of their group and the miraculous news that everything was okay and they could all go home now. “Who knows how long it might take her to find somebody who can give her some answers, and… our families…”

 

“No,” Anoop objected, giving Kris an apologetic look when Kris turned startled eyes on him. “I know you’re worried. You all are, I’m sure.” He glanced around at the group, which consisted of all the Idols, but none of their families, who had been out in the crowd watching the show. “We all want to make sure everybody is safe, but… the simple fact of the matter is… right now, _we’re_ the ones who stand the _least_ chance of getting sick. None of us is sick, and we’ve had the least personal contact with the crowd.” He paused, allowing those words to sink in before shaking his head slowly and clarifying, “We walk out that door and out into the middle of that crowd… and we’re just as exposed as everyone else.”

 

Everyone was quiet for a moment, considering that, before Michael’s jaw set with anger, and he took a step toward Anoop, his arms crossed over his chest. Anoop tensed slightly at the visible tension in the larger man’s frame, but Michael was self-restrained despite the obvious strong emotion behind his quiet words.

 

“And just what would you suggest we do when our families get here, then?” he demanded. “Shut them out, to _improve our chances_?”

 

Anoop glanced nervously around at the others, well aware that he was the only one who did not have family out there right now. He had Megan – but she was safe as possible, in the same room with him. He shook his head slowly as he met Michael’s gaze with solemn, stark honesty.

 

“Of course not. Family’s family, regardless of whether or not they’ve been exposed. I’m just saying… anything we can do to _better_ our chances of _not_ getting sick…”

 

“Look, we don’t even know for sure what’s happening yet,” Adam repeated, stepping forward and holding out his arms between Anoop and Michael in an appeasing gesture, looking back and forth between them with a warning expression on his face. “We all just need to sit tight and try not to freak out – or hurt anybody – until we know. All right?”

 

Michael and Anoop both visibly relaxed a little, and only then did Adam relax as well. “Okay,” he sighed. “Okay, let’s just… calm down.” He turned his attention toward Anoop, nodding downward at the blackberry still clutched in his palm. “Mind putting that to good use? I’m sure everybody’d like to call their families.”

 

Anoop blinked in momentary confusion at the swift change of subject before nodding hurriedly and handing it over. As Adam glanced around the room, he saw Danny and Allison taking out their phones as well. Judging by the disappointed, frustrated looks on the others’ faces, he could only guess that they’d left their phones either in their dressing rooms, or back in the safety of the buses, not supposing they’d need them before they returned there.

 

The group began to settle down to wait, breaking off into small groups and talking in hushed, anxious tones as the cell phones were passed around. Adam waited while Allison talked to her mother, who much to her relief had already been located and was accompanying Jessica on the search for the others. She was also able to set Lil’s and Michael’s minds at ease, as their families were both with her as well. When Allison was finished, Adam took her phone and immediately crossed the room to where Kris was standing.

 

Despite his earlier suggestion, Kris hovered a few feet from the television, his attention focused on the continuing news coverage of the flu epidemic. His arms were crossed over his chest, his brow creased in an anxious frown, unconsciously worrying his lower lip between his teeth. He jumped when Adam placed a supportive hand on his shoulder – then relaxed when he saw who it was. Adam leaned in close to speak softly into his ear, making sure not to be heard by any of the others.

 

“We give her an hour. If she’s not back with the others by then – I’m with you. We go find them, no matter _what_ that means for the rest of us. All right?” He pressed the phone into Kris’s hand, continuing as Kris looked down at it blankly. “In the mean time, try to reach Katy, okay?”

 

Kris stared at him for a moment, as if his mind was having trouble keeping up with the words. Then, his shoulders sagged with relief, and he nodded gratefully, turning his face to rest his head against Adam’s chest for a moment before looking up to meet his eyes, his own shining with tears.

 

“Thanks,” he whispered.

 

Adam’s throat felt choked and constricted, and he couldn’t speak, so he just nodded. He waited at Kris’s side, a reassuring arm wrapped around his waist, while Kris dialed Katy’s number. After only moments, Kris closed the phone, a look of intense disappointment and fear on his face as he shook his head and handed the phone back to Adam.

 

“Straight to voicemail. She said she was gonna turn it off for the show.” Kris’s tone was one of practiced calm, though Adam knew him well enough to be able to tell that it was nothing more than a brave front.

 

“She might not have had the chance to turn it back on before…” Adam’s voice trailed off, as he wasn’t really sure how to finish that sentence. “I’m sure she’s fine. Allie’s mom said Jessica’s already found a lot of our people. They were kinda spread out in the crowd, and I’m sure things are kinda… chaotic, out there right now. Don’t worry. They didn’t let anybody leave the building, so they have to be here sooner or later, right?”

 

Kris swallowed hard, forcing a smile that didn’t touch his eyes, and nodding shakily as he barely breathed out a response. “Right.” He paused a moment, seeming to remember himself as he held out the phone to Adam again. “Here, I’m sorry. You need to call Drake.”

 

Adam’s stomach lurched, and he wondered if he’d been making sure that everyone else’s calls got made first in a subconscious attempt to put off making the call. Despite his efforts to keep everyone calm and the situation under control, there was a deep dread building in the pit of his stomach. Some deep part of him was very certain already that, in spite of his words, everything was _not_ going to be okay.

 

His momentary relief when Drake answered his phone – sounding nervous but okay – was overshadowed by the instinctive knowledge that after this day, nothing was ever _really _going to be _“okay”_ again.


	3. Chapter 3

By the time the handler, Jessica, returned with their loved ones, Kris and Adam were preparing to leave the room and go looking for them, regardless of what the others thought of the idea. Adam felt better after talking to Drake and hearing that he was safe, but Kris had not heard from Katy yet at all. He sat on the floor a few feet away from the television, his knees drawn up in front of him and his arms wrapped around them – Allison’s cell phone clutched tightly in his white-knuckled hand.

Every few minutes he would try Katy’s cell phone again, but hang it up almost immediately when the call went directly to voicemail. Adam went to him, crouching beside him and placing a supportive hand on his shoulder. Kris looked up at him, his eyes shining with unshed tears, shaking his head slightly.

“Don’t,” he pleaded hoarsely, shrugging out from under Adam’s hand with an apologetic grimace. “I just… if you… I can’t…”

Adam knew what it felt like to have his emotions so raw and close to the surface that a single compassionate touch could bring them all spilling out over the edge. He respectfully backed off, biting his lip to silence the comforting words that rose automatically to his lips – words that might very well be a lie.

And even at the expense of his feelings, Adam would _never _lie to Kris.

“I’m here, okay?” he ventured at last, finally settling on something he could say that was both honest and encouraging, he hoped. “If you need me.”

Kris nodded, regret mingled with gratitude in his eyes. “Thanks. For understanding.”

Adam nodded in return, then lowered himself to the floor to sit beside Kris and wait for the minutes to tick by until either their loved ones arrived, or they would go looking for them. When the door finally opened again, Kris rose instantly to his feet, urgent eyes turned hopefully toward it. Adam thought he was nearly as relieved as Kris at the sight of Katy – wide-eyed and shaken but safe – walking through the doorway along with the others.

Brief chaos reigned as the Idols reunited with their families, hugging and talking rapidly all at once, the formerly missing members of the group attempting to fill their loved ones in on what had happened to them. Kris and Katy met halfway across the room, a little bit apart from the group. Neither spoke a word, embracing each other and holding on for dear life. Kris buried his head against Katy’s shoulder, fingers threading through her hair and holding her close to him as his shoulders shook with sobs of relief.

“Excuse me… excuse me, can I have your attention for a minute?”

Adam reluctantly tore his gaze from the sweet scene Kris and Katy made as Jessica spoke in a high, trembling voice that cut through the muted din of the other voices. Just as he looked at her, Drake reached his side, grasping his hand and reaching up to kiss him with almost frantic intensity. Adam turned toward him, responding without hesitation, wrapping his arms around his lover and pulling him close. He had already known that Drake was reasonably safe, so his relief was not as intense as what Kris appeared to be feeling; still, it was a comfort to actually be able to touch and hold Drake and _know_ that he was with him and well and safe.

“You okay?” Drake whispered breathlessly when they parted, eyes full of concern as he searched Adam’s weary face.

Adam nodded, forcing a brave smile despite the heaviness of his heart. He really wasn’t sure that any of them were okay – or were going to be. Despite his relief at having all of their loved ones found safe and everyone being together again, he was acutely aware of the reason behind Anoop’s earlier words which had met with such hostility.

_Of course we let them in – there’s no other choice. But – have we just let _it_ in with them? The disease that’s killing everyone?_

_Have we just signed every last one of our death warrants?_

“Please, everybody, will you please listen to me for a few moments?”

Jessica persisted, raising her voice slightly, and gradually the tense, agitated voices died away, dozens of eyes turning anxiously toward her. Drake moved from between Adam and his view of Jessica across the room, standing at Adam’s side and squeezing his hand in a silent display of both his anxiety and his support – as if to say that no matter how bad what she was about to say would be, at least they would be facing it together.

Adam returned the gesture, aware that his own hand was trembling with apprehension.

“If everyone will just be quiet for a few minutes,” Jessica repeated, frustration and exhaustion on her face. “I’ll tell you everything I know about our situation, and I’ll try to answer any questions that you have, but please let me finish first, okay?” When her request was met with silence, the girl’s shoulders fell with relief, and she ran a shaky hand through her disheveled hair. “Okay… so… you’ve probably already guessed, and some of you already know… we’re under quarantine. The flu virus has mutated, and… and apparently, during the concert, the military and the CDC set up checkpoints at the arena exits. They locked the doors and started testing everyone for symptoms before they’d let anyone leave.”

Adam’s stomach churned, an uneasy chill sliding down his spine with those words, more confirmation of the danger of their situation.

“They found… over two hundred confirmed cases of the virus,” Jessica continued. “Because of the… open, public nature of the building, the CDC is considering everyone here to have been exposed, and therefore… they’re not letting anyone leave right now.” She paused, not meeting anyone’s eyes as she went on, “Because of the amount of fame you all have garnered, and the fact that most of the people in the arena are fans to varying degrees, the officials in charge of the quarantine have agreed to let you all stay here for the duration of the quarantine – away from the others. This way, you’ll at least have – a measure of security, and – and privacy.” She hesitated, her tone not at all convincing when she concluded, quieter, “This should all blow over in a – a day or two. They have doctors coming in who are familiar with the virus and can help treat those who are infected. I’m sure everyone will be – will be just fine.”

“Why’d they check the arena in the first place?” Megan was the first to speak up, breaking the tense, apprehensive silence that fell in the wake of Jessica’s announcement. “I mean – why _here_?”

“Apparently they’re – doing the checks everywhere,” Jessica explained. “And they’re telling everyone to stay in their homes, whether they’re symptomatic or not, so… it’s really not so different from what’s going on with everyone outside the arena. They’re just… trying to keep the virus from spreading. Because there were so many people here, that’s why they found so many cases in this one place. The situation is the same everywhere…”

“All over the city?” Lil’s voice was hesitant as she spoke up, seeking clarification.

“Yeah.” Anoop was quiet and subdued, hesitant to speak up after his earlier confrontation with Michael. “Define ‘everywhere’.”

“Everywhere is… _everywhere_.” Jessica looked up to meet each of their eyes in turn, a troubled, dread-filled expression on her face. “Not the city. Not even the state, or the country. This is… the epidemic is… it’s worldwide at this point.”

“Shit,” Drake breathed out in a tone of stunned awe, the word only audible to Adam at his side. Adam looked at him as Drake turned wide, horrified eyes up toward his. His voice was barely over a whisper, not reaching the ears of the others as he shook his head slowly. “We’re all dead, aren’t we?”

“No,” Adam insisted automatically, shaking his head in denial. “No, we’re not.”

But he didn’t believe his own words. He didn’t know what to believe. He had to say something to make Drake feel safer, had to reassure him and protect him as he always tried to do – but he wasn’t sure that he _could_ protect him from what was happening to all of them. He didn’t see how _anyone _could protect them from a virus that spread from one person to every other person in the same room with them, and killed three out of four people it touched.

Jessica continued to answer the questions that were posed to her, and Adam tried to focus on them, understanding that any information they could get would only serve to help them get through this more safely. It was difficult to concentrate through the panic he was barely managing to keep at bay. The entire situation was simply overwhelming.

_This can’t be real… this doesn’t happen in real life…_

“What are the symptoms? How do they know if you have it?” Michael asked, and Adam was pretty sure he wasn’t aware of the way his arms tightened protectively around his little daughter as he spoke.

“Typical flu symptoms at first, followed by… by the appearance of dark, bruise-like patches on the skin that… that gradually spread to cover… most of the body.” The hesitation in her voice, accompanied by the unusual formality of her word choice, made it clear that Jessica was recounting nearly word for word the answer she’d received when she’d asked the same question. “In some cases the drugs they have… reverse the process and the person recovers. If not, then – then basically the… internal organs begin to… to decompose, and…”

The gasps of horror and disgust that met her explanation, the shocked words tinged with panic that drowned her out, must have told Jessica that she had already given more detail than was wise. She fell silent, eyes downcast as she swallowed hard before looking up to reassure the frightened group – though what reassurance she could offer was weak at best.

“They’re sending enough of the anti-viral drugs for everyone here. Everyone will be treated, and… and with treatment, there’s a chance.”

“So… this virus is pretty much everywhere, right? So what’s the point of the quarantine?” Danny’s voice was demanding as it rose above the others, and they all fell silent, waiting for him to go on. “Why make us all stay here when it sounds like it’s just the same out there?” He paused, a defiant note in his voice, his jaw set stubbornly when he continued. “What if we decide we don’t want to comply with this quarantine?”

Jessica’s eyes widened with fear, and she shook her head rapidly, her voice trembling as she replied. “That would… _not_ be a good idea. They’re trying to keep… to keep _everyone_ out of the streets. Not just here, like I said. Every business, every private home – they’re trying to make sure everyone stays inside and the situation stays manageable.”

Images of random fires in the streets and ragged looters throwing rocks through glass windows and running out of shops with useless electronic devices under their arms filled Adam’s mind, and he shook his head slowly, bewildered and shell-shocked, trying to make sense of it all.

_That doesn’t happen in real life, only in the movies. But then – _this _doesn’t happen in real life, either…_

_God, my _family_. I’ve gotta call Mom…_

“The military personnel at the exits to the building are armed,” Jessica continued, her expression solemn and warning. “A few people tried to break through the barricade, and…” She drew in a deep, shaky breath, tensing in preparation for the inevitable reaction to her next words. “… they were shot.”

Indignation and alarm filled the answering voices of the group, and she held up her hands for quiet – which she gradually received again.

“The best thing we can all do is just – try to stay calm and to do what the authorities tell us, for now. All right? Panic will just make everything worse.” When no one objected further, she continued. “I’ll be bringing you guys everything you need – bedding, food, water. Let me know if there’s anything I can get for you. I guess resources are gonna be kind of limited, but I’ll do the best I can. Okay?”

Reluctant murmurs of assent met her words, and she quietly left the room. A moment later, the metallic scrape of a key in the lock drew their attention again with alarm. Danny beat the others to the door to check it, turning to confirm grimly.

“Locked.”

Adam stared at the door in stunned disbelief, trying to process this new piece of information, and the implications of it.

_This has to be a nightmare. This doesn’t just happen._

As the murmurs of the group began to rise again, and several went to the door to try the handle, banging on it and pushing against it in efforts he knew would be useless, Adam tried to focus on the reality of the situation at hand and the necessity of dealing with it.

_This doesn’t happen… except it _is _happening. And it’s very, very real._


	4. Chapter 4

After Jessica left, the Idols and their families began gradually breaking off into small groups, varying in both size and focus.

For the moment, both Michael and Lil seemed content to know that their families were safe and together again. Michael began taking cushions from some of the chairs that lined the walls and arranging them in a corner of the room, making a makeshift mattress for his children to sleep on. Lil was making similar temporary arrangements a few yards away. The concert hadn’t ended until nearly ten, so by this time all of the children in the group were either asleep or fading fast.

From his own spot a few yards away, where he sat on the floor with Drake’s head in his lap, idly stroking his hair, Adam could clearly see everyone else in the room, though he couldn’t make out the specific conversations.

Kris and Katy were sitting in a corner on the other side of the room, talking quietly, focused so intently on their conversation and each other that there might as well not have been anyone else in the room. Adam noticed that Kris had chosen a spot as far as possible from the television set and the ominous reports issuing from it at an alarmingly quickening pace. Before the Idols’ reunion with their loved ones, Kris had barely budged from in front of the television screen; but now that Katy was here, he didn’t seem to want to hear the news anymore.

_He’s protecting her,_ Adam realized, feeling a rush of sympathy and sorrow for his friend. _He’s trying to keep her from seeing just how bad it is – but he’ll only be able to manage it for so long. _He glanced down at Drake, feeling a cold, trembling knot forming in the pit of his stomach._ There’s nothing anyone can do to _really_ protect _anyone_ else from something the size of this._

Judging by the wide-eyed expression on Megan’s unusually pale face, Anoop realized the same thing, and was not trying to protect her from the harsh reality of their situation. He was speaking rapidly, intently, meeting her eyes with a solemn, apprehensive expression on his face, as she slowly shook her head in disbelief – or more likely denial.

None of them _wanted_ to believe that this was happening.

But while most of them were sitting quietly, trying to deal with it and process it in their own ways, Danny seemed too agitated to sit still. He paced quickly back and forth near the locked door that was supposedly for their own protection, his hands worrying together in front of him as he whispered under his breath – praying or plotting or maybe just thinking aloud, Adam couldn’t be sure.

_But whatever he’s doing, it doesn’t look good. In a situation like this, the kind of freak out it looks like he’s headed for can only be a_ bad _thing…_

Adam glanced down at Drake, who had drifted off to sleep. He cautiously slid out from under Drake’s shoulders, gently lowering him to the floor before rising awkwardly to his feet. He glanced around at the others, making sure they were too preoccupied to notice as he made his way toward Danny. One person on the verge of meltdown was dangerous enough; the last thing they needed was for panic to spread.

“Hey, man.” Adam kept his tone casual as he approached, trying to make eye contact, hoping to somehow ground Danny and draw him out of his impending panic. “What’s up?”

Danny looked up at him, startled, halting his pacing and looking toward the door again. “They can’t just keep us locked up in here like prisoners,” he stated without introduction. “That door can’t be that strong. Oughta be easy enough to break it down.”

Adam’s eyes widened with alarm, and he reached out to touch Danny’s arm, trying to direct his attention away from the door. “No… no, that’s a really bad idea. For now, anyway. We don’t know what’s out there, or what we might be letting in by going out there. We just need to… to sit tight for a little while longer, until… until they let us know what’s going on. If we go out there right now, we risk getting everyone sick…”

“That’s assuming that no one in here is sick already.”

Danny’s voice was considerably louder than Adam’s hushed, cautious tone, and Adam noticed with dismay that several sets of eyes turned toward them at his words. He held up a halting hand, motioning in a downward gesture and moving in closer to Danny to indicate that he should lower his voice. Danny didn’t seem to get the message.

“We don’t even have any idea if the crap they’re telling us is the truth or not – not Jessica, or the military types out there, or the talking heads on the news…” Danny shook his head, meeting Adam’s eyes with a wild, almost manic expression in his own. “How do we know that any of them are telling us the truth unless we see it with our own eyes? There could be nothing left out there, and none of us would know it unless…”

“Danny, _shut up_!” Adam snapped at last, raising his voice just enough to get Danny’s attention over his own frightened ranting. “Okay? Just calm down and be quiet for a minute!”

Danny blinked, caught off guard by Adam’s unusually sharp tone – and, relieved to have his attention, Adam softened his voice again, holding Danny’s gaze intently. “I get what you’re saying. I do. And – there’s a good chance you’re right, but… but if you’re _wrong_… it’s too big a chance to take right now. No one seems sick right now, all right? Opening that door could change that, and there’s no going back once that’s done. And have you forgotten what Jessica said about the military guys _shooting down_ the people who tried to break through the checkpoints?” Adam’s voice lowered even further with his last words, making sure that no one but Danny could hear them. “As it is, no one’s coming in here to… to hurt us or anything like that. We’re… relatively safe here, for now. So why get everybody all freaked out over what might be nothing? We can always break down the door later. For now – let’s just try to keep everything together and everybody safe. Okay?”

Danny was silent, staring at Adam for a long moment as the logic of his words gradually crept past the panic that had driven him. Finally, his shoulders fell, and he glanced guiltily toward the few others in the room who were still giving him anxious, uneasy looks. He grimaced, meeting Adam’s eyes apologetically.

“I’m sorry. I… I wasn’t thinking…”

“I know,” Adam gently acknowledged, nodding. “It’s understandable, under the circumstances.”

“I just… we need to be aware that… maybe things aren’t how they seem. And… we can only go so long without knowing what’s actually going on outside this room, you know?”

Adam nodded slowly, the cold feeling in his stomach intensifying with the knowledge that at least in part, Danny was right. It would do no good for anyone for them to throw everyone into a panic over nothing – but at some point, they would have to find a way to talk to someone who knew more than Jessica the handler. Adam was sure there was a way to do that without breaking down the door and risking infecting all of them with the virus, or worse.

He just had no idea yet what that way might be.

*********************************

“The official from the CDC is saying that she thinks we’re through the worst of it.” Jessica’s voice was slightly muffled by the protective mask she wore over the lower half of her face. “Just another few days, and you should all be able to go home.”

As she spoke, she passed several baskets full of plastic-wrapped sandwiches and chips, as well as about a dozen six packs of water bottles, through the open doorway to the room where they’d been staying – without ever crossing the threshold herself. Adam watched her quietly, observing – wondering whether she was staying out for their protection, or for her own.

“How many people are sick out there now?” Michael asked her, keeping his voice low, and glancing self-consciously over his shoulder to the place where his children were resting with their mother. “Did everybody catch it?”

Adam could tell that Jessica was trying to offer a reassuring smile behind the paper mask that covered her mouth; but the mask did nothing to disguise the expression in her eyes, and he saw nothing there but pure terror, despite her calm façade.

“Not everybody, no,” she assured Michael, shaking her head as she handed him the last basket of food. “In fact, most people are okay. And… and they have drugs to treat the sick, so… everything’s gong to be fine.” She hesitated a moment before asking in a cautious tone of forced calm, “Is… everyone in _here_ okay? Anybody showing any symptoms of illness?”

Adam studied her expression as the few near the door replied that no, no one was sick. It was, thankfully, the truth, so far as they knew. Everyone in their own little group still seemed to be healthy – which was a miracle in and of itself, and further proof to Adam that for the moment, they were doing the right thing by staying inside.

Once Jessica left again, locking the door behind her, it quickly became apparent that some of the others did not agree.

“So… we’re not actually buying her ‘everything’s okay outside’ story, are we?” Anoop’s voice was quiet but sharp, cutting through the silence that descended as lunch was passed out. “I mean… the news says three out of four die of this shit, and yet, somehow, most of the people out there are okay?”

“The CDC is involved,” Kris reminded him, his voice tentative, his eyes meeting Adam’s anxiously for a moment as he passed him a sandwich and a bottle of water – betraying only to Adam the fact that he wasn’t quite as optimistic as he was trying to appear for the sake of the others. “Maybe they’ve figured out a cure…”

“And they’re reporting the _daily death tolls_, but they’re not reporting that there’s a _cure_ on the news?” Danny spoke up, his tone dubious and skeptical. “Yeah, because _that’s_ the way to prevent the kind of panic in the streets they’re trying to avoid.”

“It’s a new mutation of the virus that they’re dealing with,” Katy pointed out, clearly trying to restrain her irritation with Danny, glancing around at the others near her to assess the damage his words might be inflicting. “So... maybe they weren’t sure to begin with what effect their drugs might have. They can’t go broadcasting on national television that they have a cure, if they’re not sure yet whether or not they do, but… but if the drugs are helping the sick people here, then… then that has to be _good_ news, right?”

“If the drugs are actually helping,” Anoop conceded, pausing before clarifying softly, “If they’re telling us the truth.”

“We don’t really know that anyone’s telling us the truth,” Lil pointed out, casting a dubious glance toward the television across the room. “For all we know, all that stuff they’re reporting is just crap to keep people from freaking out. We don’t really know anything for sure, except what we’ve been told – and we don’t know whether that’s truth or lies, either.”

“There’s only one way to find out.” Danny’s tone was grim as he turned his gaze once more toward the door.

“Are you guys even _hearing _yourselves?” Adam finally spoke up, rolling his eyes in frustration before looking at Danny, Lil, and Anoop in turn. “The only way to see for ourselves whether or not the virus is _freakin’ killing everyone_… is to go out there _where it is_?”

Anoop shook his head, frowning in confusion. “We have to _know_…”

“No, we really don’t,” Kris insisted, as he and Katy finished serving the food and made their way to sit down next to Adam and Drake. Adam felt a deep sense of relief at the physical display of solidarity to accompany Kris’s verbal support. “Why do we ‘have to know?’ If she’s telling us the truth, then we’ll be out of here in a couple days, anyway. If she’s not – and the virus is killing everyone out there – and _no one _in here is sick yet, then – then this is obviously the best place to be right now. Right?”

“Right,” Katy emphatically agreed, reaching out to take Kris’s hand. “As long as no one in here is sick, then the less outside exposure, the better.”

Danny opened his mouth to respond, the shaking of his head an indication that their words had not gotten through to him – but whatever he was going to say never left his mouth, as an unexpected sound silenced every voice in the room, and drew all eyes in its direction.

A cough.

Matt had been keeping quiet since the argument began, simply listening to the others, feeling too tired to take part in it, and unwilling to get in the middle of something on which his own feelings were still uncertain. His girlfriend’s head had rested in his lap as he closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall behind him – but now she sat up swiftly, staring at him in wide-eyed horror.

“What…” Matt looked around, puzzled at first by her reaction, and those of his friends around him. “Lisa, what…” Suddenly, his eyes went wide as the implications of that simple cough dawned on him, and he shook his head slowly in horrified denial. “Wait… no. No, it’s not… it’s just… I just had something in my throat, guys. Really, it’s not…”

But his words broke off abruptly in a second cough, and those seated nearest to him slid away as much as possible. Adam’s stomach dropped as he stared at his friend, hoping against hope that he was right, and it was really nothing more than an ordinary cough, the kind that most people experience a couple of times a day.

Deep in his heart, he knew better.

They all did.

Danny’s pointed, slightly trembling words drew Adam from his troubled thoughts, and he looked up to see the other man’s eyebrows raised in a challenging question.

“Still think we shouldn’t break down that door?”


	5. Chapter 5

“Guys… I’m fine. Really. It was a long show, that’s all. It was just a cough.”

Matt’s shaky explanation was met with an uneasy silence and awkward glances exchanged between his friends, none of whom was convinced. Varying levels of shock and horror gradually spread across their faces as the implications of the simple sound sank in for each of them. Most of Matt’s attention, however, was focused on the face of his girlfriend, his eyes wide with hurt as she scrambled to her feet and backed away from him, her arms wrapped protectively around her torso, refusing to make eye contact.

“Lisa? Lisa, baby… no, it’s not… I’m okay. Guys… _I’m okay_!”

But Matt’s voice was trembling, and there was an unmistakable note of panic behind his desperate reassurances.

“You said we didn’t have a reason to open that door.” Danny crossed his arms over his chest, a single challenging brow raised in Adam’s direction.  “This sure looks like a reason to me.”

“No,” Adam insisted, his voice slightly hushed as he cast a self-conscious, uneasy look in Matt’s direction before going on. “It was a _cough_, Danny. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything…”

Danny’s voice rose in frustration. “Half the world is _dying_ out there, and it doesn’t _mean_ anything? You’re in denial, man!” Danny shook his head, oblivious to Matt’s reaction as he took in his angry, thoughtless words. “There’s too many lives on the line in this room to take the chance, Adam! We need to get out of this room!”

“_Why_?” Adam demanded, his own voice rising to match Danny’s. “What difference is it gonna make? You think we should go out there because there’s _maybe… one_ sick person in this room. _Maybe_. Well, there’s _hundreds_ out there, all right? What makes you think it’s a good idea to expose _everyone in this room_ to that?”

“Well, we have to do _something_!” Michael spoke up abruptly, drawing both of their attention in surprise. His eyes were wide, his voice trembling as he glanced over his shoulder toward his wife and children, quietly listening from their spot across the room. “We can’t just sit here waiting to get infected.”

“Guys!” Matt objected. “Come _on_! I’m not sick. Please, guys, _listen_ to me…”

Kris stepped forward to stand between Adam and Danny, gesturing supportively toward Matt. “He’s right, guys,” he stated softly. “Everybody needs to just… chill out for a minute, okay? We don’t even know if he’s sick…”

“We don’t really know much of anything,” Danny muttered. “That’s the problem.”

Adam drew in a deep breath, visibly struggling with his frustration, before speaking in a quiet, carefully controlled tone of voice. “Look… we should just… wait until Jessica comes back, and ask her about the symptoms again. Ask her what we should do…”

“No!” Matt objected, stumbling to his feet hurriedly. “Guys, no! We don’t know what’s happening out there, but… but they’ve _shot_ people just for trying to leave. How do we even know what they’re doing to the people they think are sick?”

“They… have drugs,” Danny hesitantly replied after a long, tense silence. “They’re _treating_ the sick, not… not killing them…”

“I thought you just said we don’t _know_ what’s going on out there,” Adam muttered, rolling his eyes and running a nervous hand through his hair as he momentarily turned away before turning back toward Danny again. “We can’t just charge into action here without knowing what we’re dealing with…”

“We can’t _know _unless we _go out there_!”

“Guys… please…” Matt spoke up again, unconsciously taking a couple of anxious steps toward the others. “… please, just wait. I promise, it’s nothing. If you just wait a little bit, you’ll see…” His voice trailed off, his eyes widening with dismay as all but Kris unintentionally stepped away as he moved forward.

Even Adam.

An instant later, Adam realized his mistake, cringing and lowering his face into his hand with a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry, man,” he said in a voice of quiet defeat. “I didn’t mean to… it’s just…”

“See?” Danny cut him off. “You talk a good game, Adam, but you’re just as freaked as the rest of us.”

“Okay, so… it’s scary.” Kris’s tone was still level and calm as he held up his hands in a halting gesture, looking back and forth between Danny and Adam. “It’s scary for all of us.” He cast a pointed glance toward Matt before meeting Danny’s eyes in a stern, reproving expression. “But we have to keep our heads, guys.”

“I’m sorry,” Michael spoke up again, shaking his head, “but I’m with Danny on this one. We have to do _something._ We can’t just sit here waiting to get sick.” He drew in a deep breath, letting it out shakily before concluding, “Either we need to go out there… or _he_ does.”

Stunned silence met his words, and Michael turned his regretful gaze toward Matt, his eyes falling in shame at the hurt expression in Matt’s stricken blue eyes. Michael’s voice broke, stumbling over the words as he tried to explain.

“I-I’m sorry. It’s just…” He met Matt’s gaze again, shaking his head, anguish in his eyes. “My _babies_ are in here, man! You’ve gotta understand…”

Michael’s apology didn’t matter. His harsh words had already done their damage. Matt backed away to stand against the wall again, then slowly sank back down to the floor in defeat, his eyes wide and stunned.

“Matt is our friend.” Adam’s voice was quiet and firm as he glared defiantly at Danny and Michael. “We can’t just… just throw him out for our own protection. We have to think about this…”

“There’s nothing to think about!” Danny snapped, throwing up his hands in frustration. “We need to know more!”

“We _will_ know more!” Adam insisted. “As soon as Jessica comes back! We’ll talk to her again about what’s going on out there… and the symptoms… and what we should do if someone’s sick. Until then… nobody’s going out there.”

“You’re going to stop us?” Danny’s voice was low, restrained, yet charged with challenge as he met Adam’s steely gaze.

Adam swallowed hard, studying the intent expressions on Danny’s and Michael’s faces for a moment before turning and purposefully striding toward the door. He turned his back to it, his arms crossed over his chest, before nodding slowly, firmly.

“Yeah,” he replied at last, his voice barely over a whisper. “I am.”

“Adam,” Michael groaned, letting out a regretful sigh. “Come on, man…”

“We’ll _wait_… for _Jessica_,” Adam insisted, his jaw set with stubborn determination. After a few tense moments, he continued, his voice softer, carrying a pleading note. “It’s just a few hours, guys. What’s a few hours?”

“It could be our lives,” Danny retorted, quietly seething.

But neither he nor Michael made any move to stop Adam from blocking the door. Finally, reluctantly, Danny turned and walked away, shaking his head in frustration as he made his way across the room and sat down with his head in his hands. Adam noticed uneasily that Michael stopped to speak to his family only for a moment, before crossing the room to sit down beside Danny, where the two of them began speaking in quiet, intent tones.

_This is insane. Maybe they’re right. If Matt is sick… then we can’t just sit here and wait for us all to catch it. _

_But, if it’s dangerous in here, it has to be a hundred times worse out there…_

Adam stood there for a few moments, trembling with tense apprehension, his body poised and ready to react to the conflict he’d spent the last few minutes preparing for. When it seemed that no conflict was forthcoming, however, he slid down to sit with his back against the door, resting his head against it and closing his eyes for a moment with a shaky sigh, fighting back his resentment and frustration.

_Why is it _your_ job to decide what’s best for everybody, anyway? If they wanna run headlong to their own deaths, who are you to stop them? _

Adam was drawn abruptly from his thoughts when he felt a firm hand come to rest on his shoulder. He flinched, jerking away from the touch and starting to get to his feet – before he opened his eyes and saw who it was who was standing in front of him, palms extended in a gesture of mock surrender, dark eyes dancing with gentle amusement.

“Easy, man,” Kris murmured with a sympathetic smile as he sat down on the floor beside Adam, mirroring his position with his knees drawn up loosely in front of him. “I’m on _your_ side, remember?”

“Yeah,” Adam sighed, shaking his head. “I’m sorry. I just…”

“I know.” Kris raised a warm, strong hand to rest at the back of Adam’s neck, gently kneading the tension from the knotted muscles there. “Man, Adam, this is really getting to you. It’s getting to everybody,” he acknowledged with a pensive shrug. “But you know… it’s not obvious with you.”

“I’m fine.”  Adam knew even as he spoke that his terse, barely controlled tone gave his lie away.

“Nah, I know you,” Kris easily dismissed the words with a knowing shake of his head and a disarming smile. “You’re trying to look out for everybody else, Adam. I know. But… you can’t just hold it all in. You’ll explode. You need to… maybe try to let it out a little.”

Adam gave up the useless attempt to hide his weakness from the friend who knew him better than anyone else in the room – even his own boyfriend, who had slept through all the drama and still slept across the room on the makeshift pallet Adam had made for them. He gave Kris a weak smile, shaking his head as he confessed softly.

“Can’t. Not yet.” He nodded toward the rest of the room. “I’m the only one who’s _not_ freaking out – and they’re all watching.”

Kris considered that for a moment before rising to his feet and walking off across the room without a word. Adam frowned in confusion, watching as Kris stopped beside one of the portable partitions stored against one of the walls, grabbing one end of it and wheeling it across the room to position it a few feet in front of Adam – effectively removing him from the line of vision of all of the others. His task accomplished, Kris sat down beside Adam again, wrapping a warm, comforting arm around Adam’s shoulders and squeezing gently.

“Go ahead,” he murmured, resting his head against Adam’s, his voice hushed and soothing. “It’s safe now.”

Adam found that he suddenly wanted to cry at the simple generosity of the gesture – but no tears would come. Instead, he simply turned his face into Kris’s shoulder, drawing in a deep, shaky breath and letting it out in relief. Kris held him a little tighter, resting his cheek against the top of Adam’s head as he spoke in hushed, reassuring tones.

“Nobody said you have to be the strong one, Adam. Nobody expects you to take care of everybody all on your own.”

Adam’s voice was hoarse with exhaustion and emotion as he replied with weary resignation. “_Someone_ has to…”

“I know,” Kris relented softly, nodding. “It’s just what you do. Believe me, I get that, and I love you for it…” He paused, raising his head and nudging Adam with his shoulder to get him to do the same. Once Adam was looking at him with expectant eyes, he continued gently, holding his gaze, “… but somebody’s gotta take care of _you_, too, you know.”

Adam ventured a hesitant smile, biting the corner of his lip for a moment before speaking with unveiled uncertainty. “Think you can handle that, if I can handle the rest?”

Kris returned his smile, nodding. “Sure I can. And if anyone can handle the rest, it’s you.”

He paused a moment, his dark eyes confident and warm, providing a comfort that Adam could not find in any of the others in the room – not even Drake. No, he was the one providing that reassurance _for _Drake, and not the other way around.

_Good thing Kris is here. I don’t think I’d have lasted much longer without him…_

“We’ll be okay,” Kris assured him firmly. “Matt’s probably not even sick. I get that they’re scared. I am, too, but… but we can’t jump to conclusions. When Jessica comes back in a few hours, we’ll ask her some questions – see if we can figure out what to do. And until then, we’ll all sit tight.” He paused a moment before clarifying with firm resolve, “If the others don’t want to, I’ll help you make _sure_ we all sit tight.”

But a few hours passed, and then the night passed slowly into the next morning – and Jessica did not come back.


	6. Chapter 6

Adam slept that night with his back against the door.

A few minutes after the confrontation, Drake trudged sleepily behind the barrier Kris had constructed, giving Kris and Adam an uncertain, vaguely questioning look. Kris suddenly felt very self-conscious, and cleared his throat as he removed his arm from around Adam’s shoulders. Adam didn’t seem to mind the contact, however, looking up at his boyfriend with a tired smile.

“Hey.”

Drake was quiet for a moment, seeming to wake up a little as he took in the scene. “Hey.”

As Drake approached, Kris rose to his feet. “I’m, uh… I’m gonna find Katy. I’ll be back in a little bit.”

Adam nodded in response, his attention focused for the moment on Drake. As Drake sat down beside Adam, taking the spot Kris had vacated, Kris heard their quiet voices as Adam began to explain to Drake what had happened while he’d been sleeping.

Kris didn’t have to explain anything to Katy.

She seemed to immediately understand when he scooped up an armload of the blankets and cushions they’d used to form a pallet, and nodded toward the barrier with nothing more than two soft words.

“Come on.”

Katy nodded, helping Kris to gather their things and following him behind the barrier to set up camp with Adam and Drake. Kris wondered momentarily if they should give the two men their space – but his doubts vanished instantly at the look of relief in Adam’s eyes when he returned. Kris didn’t have to say anything. The sight of him and Katy with all their things, prepared to form a united front against anyone who might try to break down the door and expose them all to whatever lay outside – well, it seemed to be exactly what Adam had been hoping for.

_Even though… it might be_ inside, _now… we can’t really be sure._

Kris’s heart ached when he thought of Matt – now utterly isolated on the other side of that wall, their other friends making no attempt to hide the way they all began to shift away from him. On her last visit, Jessica had left a box of sterile masks, advising them to put them on if anyone displayed any symptoms of illness; now, the entire group wore them – though Kris wasn’t sure they would do any good. Based on what he was hearing on the news, the virus was too contagious for the thin paper masks to help much.

By the following morning when Kris and Adam drew the barrier aside, Allison had joined them on their side of the makeshift wall -- and the news had given way to nothing more than salt-and-pepper static.

Matt’s cough was getting worse, and he had developed a fever.

Katy did not hesitate or offer a word of explanation as she walked to the dwindling supply of water bottles against one wall and poured some out onto a paper napkin, then headed directly toward the place where Matt huddled alone against the wall, his entire body shivering with the chills accompanying the fever.

Kris hated himself a little bit as he reached out to catch her arm and stop her, meeting her startled gaze with fearful, pleading eyes.

“Honey,” he whispered, shaking his head slightly, “_no_.”

Katy gave him a sad, sympathetic smile. “What?” she replied softly. “You’re the only one allowed to risk your life to help people who need it?”

“But… if you get too close…”

“We’re _already_ too close,” Katy cut him off gently, her smile fading at the solemn reminder of their grim situation. “Just… being in the same room. And being out there wouldn’t be any better. There’s a lot more people sick out there than in here. So… there’s not really anything we can do to avoid being around it.” She paused, considering for a moment before shrugging slightly and concluding, “We can’t change the fact that we’re here – so we can at least try to do some good where we are. You know?”

Kris’s eyes stung with tears, and he nodded, swallowing hard.

“If it was you,” Katy added for good measure, “and there was no helping you… it’d kill me to think of you… being alone.”

Kris knew what Katy really meant, but couldn’t quite bring herself to say.

_Not just _being_ alone…_ dying _alone…_

He couldn’t help glancing toward Lisa – the one person in the room who seemed to be the most an outsider. None of them had met her before this reunion, and she’d only been dating Matt for a few months. Kris really couldn’t blame her for not wanting to risk her life just to keep him from being lonely. Still, he felt a vague sense of disgust mingled with his pity as he watched her, huddled in a corner, sniffling quietly and staring across the room at her suffering boyfriend.

Kris averted his gaze when she caught him staring, and instead focused on Katy as she crouched beside Matt, gently blotting his brow with the cool, damp cloth. The look of stunned gratitude in Matt’s eyes – the way his shoulders began to shake with tears at nothing more than a simple, compassionate touch – suddenly, Kris had no doubt that she was right. Katy was doing the right thing.

_She’s a better person than any of us._

Summoning his resolve, Kris crossed the room to what was left of their meager food supply, taking a packet of cookies and a stale sandwich and joining Katy at Matt’s side. She gave him a warm, grateful smile, reaching out to take his hand, and they sat there for a while, just quietly talking to Matt while he tried to eat a little of the food and drink some water. He obviously didn’t have much of an appetite, but their sacrifice in bringing it to him left him no choice but to try. Kris and Katy talked about anything and everything but the virus – just doing their best to distract Matt from his likely fate – until he grew tired and told them he wanted to sleep.

Kris was disappointed, but not surprised, when they rose to find that now, the others seemed as unwilling to come into contact with _them_ as they were to come into contact with _Matt_.

Kris avoided their accusing, suspicious eyes as he made his way back to where Adam waited by the door. To his credit, Adam did not move away or try to stop Kris as he sat down beside him. Tension was thick in the air between them, as both knew what Kris was going to say, even before he spoke with soft, certain authority, too quietly for anyone but Adam to hear him.

“Adam… it’s time to open the door.”

*********************************

Adam’s stomach lurched at Kris’s words, though he knew it was the truth. Matt was obviously sick now, his former claims that it was “just a cough” no longer holding any weight at all. There was no doubt in anyone’s mind, even Adam’s, what was wrong with him – and they couldn’t just sit there and do nothing while Matt slowly faded away, infecting the others along the way.

_And yet… what’s outside this door could be so much worse…_

“It’s been nearly twenty-four hours,” Kris pointed out softly with a little grimace. “Jessica was coming at least three times a day. If she hasn’t been here in that long, well…”

“… then she’s probably not coming back,” Adam finished for him with a heavy sigh, raising a hand to cover his face for a moment before meeting Kris’s eyes again, resignation in his own. “I know. We have to go out there, it’s just… I don’t know if we’re prepared for what we’ll find.”

“We’re not prepared to sit here and watch our friend die, either,” Kris countered gently, reaching out to place his hand on Adam’s arm. “We’ve reached a point where… doing _something_ has to be better than doing nothing. And… opening that door and seeing what’s out there is the only thing we really _can_ do. We’re running out of food and water, and if they _do_ have medicine that’s working on the virus, then… then Matt needs it. We really don’t have any other choice at this point.”

Adam nodded slowly, swallowing hard. “Okay,” he whispered at last. “Okay… so… should we _all_ go? Or just…”

“Well… Matt probably _can’t_ go far, anyway,” Kris pointed out, a thoughtful frown creasing his brow. “And… I’m not trying to be a conspiracy theorist or anything, but I still think I’d like to see how they’re actually treating the sick before we just hand him over to those military dudes. You know? It’s dangerous enough just _our _going out there – because, who knows? Once we’ve been out where all the sick people are, they might not want to let us come back. I hope everything’s being handled ethically and compassionately out there, but chances are… it’s not.”

“Yeah,” Adam agreed, his voice low and foreboding. “I have _seen_, like… every apocalypse movie ever made.”

**************************************

Kris let out a weak laugh in response to the half-hearted joke – because really, the situation wasn’t very funny at all – and they both fell silent for a moment, thinking. Adam broke the silence at last, and Kris couldn’t help but notice that his tone was firm and confident again. He was slipping back into the mode of the protective, self-appointed leader of the group once more, without even really meaning to.

“So… you and I… and Danny and Michael, probably… since there’s no way they’re going to stay behind…” Adam rolled his eyes in irritation. “… should go on out and check things out. See what’s going on out there. Everybody else can stay here until we know what’s going on. If it looks okay – like people are being treated well, and recovering and all – then we’ll tell them about Matt. If not… well, we’ll have to talk about that then.”

“Sounds good.”

Kris agreed with a nod, though the vagueness of the plan did not appeal to his cautious, methodical nature. He liked to have more of an element of certainty to his plans – but then, when they knew as little as they did about their situation, there was very little that was certain at all. Before they could know what was best to do for everyone concerned, they had to know more about what was going on outside the isolation of their four walls.

“All right… I’ll go talk to Katy, and you let Drake know what’s going on. When I’ve talked to Katy, I’ll get Danny and Michael and we can talk to them. Okay?”

Adam nodded, visibly steeling himself for an uncomfortable conversation – though Kris wasn’t sure whether it was the conversation with Drake, or with Danny and Michael, that he was dreading more. Based on the way he felt himself, Kris thought it was probably the former.

He knew that Katy was not going to be thrilled with any part of this plan – either the part that involved him going out into the rest of the building, or the part that involved her being left behind.

_But… someone has to look after Matt, and no one else is willing…_

Kris mentally rehearsed his explanation, latching onto that reason as the one that would likely have the strongest effect on Katy, and keep her from thinking too hard about the possibility gnawing at the back of his thoughts with a cold shiver of dread – the possibility that once he walked out that door and out of her sight, he might not be given the opportunity to come back.


	7. Chapter 7

“I don’t like this, Kris.”

Katy’s tone was unhappy, but resigned. Her hands gripped Kris’s forearms with trembling desperation, an echo of her words. She leaned forward and rested her head on Kris’s shoulder, her breath hitching in her throat as he instinctively cupped her head and ran his fingers soothingly through her hair.

“I know, but I can’t let Adam do this alone, sweetie. You know that.”

“I know,” Katy sighed.

“Danny and Michael are already on edge with him because they wanted to do this a long time ago. Whatever he sees out there – whatever conclusions he reaches because of what he sees – whatever he thinks we should do – I trust his judgment more than theirs. And I just think, when we come back and it comes down to convincing everyone to go with a single plan… Adam might end up needing someone in his corner.”

“I know, I get it, baby,” Katy whispered, raising tear-filled eyes to meet his solemn gaze. “You’re right. I just… we don’t know what’s out there, and I… I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t,” Kris assured her, leaning in as if to kiss her. “I promise I’ll come back…”

Katy turned her face away abruptly before Kris could make contact, and Kris blinked, startled and momentarily hurt. Katy gave him a brave smile that barely masked her unease, reaching up a hand to run her fingers through his hair as she shook her head slowly.

“No,” she whispered. “Just… save that for when you do. Okay?”

Kris gave her a puzzled look, but his eyes were soft with affection for her as he raised her hand to his lips instead and pressed a kiss against her skin. “Okay,” he replied, nodding. “We won’t be long. I love you, Katy.”

“I love you, too.”

She watched as Kris joined Adam and Danny across the room where they awkwardly waited. Danny had no one to whom he needed to say goodbye, and there seemed to be some kind of tension between Adam and Drake at the moment; Drake huddled against the far wall, casting a sullen yet agonized gaze in Adam’s direction every few seconds. Michael, who was saying goodbye to his family, saw Kris heading toward them and gave one last kiss to his wife before hurrying to join the other three men by the door.

Katy blinked back worried tears as they disappeared from her view, through the door that had caused so much controversy among their little group – the door that seemed to open far too simply, now that they’d finally made the decision to open it. Too quickly, too easily, her husband disappeared from her sight.

Only once she was sure he was gone did Katy allow the unnerving tickle that had been in the back of her throat for the last few hours to manifest into a quiet cough. Her face flushed with irrational shame, and she felt the startled eyes of the others on her, those who were near enough to hear it. She glanced around at them, self-conscious as she turned to return to the spot she and Kris had claimed next to Matt, her hushed words seeming to echo in the eerie stillness that had descended.

“It’s just a cough.”

But no one believed her – no more than she believed herself.

She made her way in silence to her friend’s side, her heart aching with the realization that he was too far gone to have notice what had happened, or the reactions of the rest of the group. She tried to take comfort in the fact that, for the moment, she was not alone – but it was difficult when Matt was so obviously suffering. His fever had spiked severely hours earlier, and was not going down. He was delirious, moaning with pain, speaking words that made no sense, when he spoke at all.

Katy was so focused on her task that she jumped when she sensed someone close beside her, then looked up, surprised – and dismayed – to see Allison standing over her and Matt. Katy bit her lower lip, shaking her head, her eyes troubled and fearful.

“Allie, sweetie… no…”

“Don’t be stupid,” Allison replied, sitting down beside her without hesitation and slinging a warm, reassuring arm around Katy’s shoulders. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“No,” Katy insisted, her voice trembling despite her efforts to keep it steady. “No, you should just… stay over there where it’s… where it’s… safe…”

Her voice broke, and suddenly her shoulders were shaking, as deep sobs rose up from her chest. She covered her face with her hand, shaking her head, trying to press back the tears that overwhelmed her – as Allison looked on in stunned dismay. 

“What is it?” she asked with such gentleness and innocent concern that Katy couldn’t bring herself to answer. “Katy, what’s wrong?”

Katy just shook her head, sobbing softly; and Allison wrapped her arms around her and pulled her close, comforting her in supportive silence as she cried – for Matt, and his swiftly fading light… and Allison, and her innocence that seemed so out of place in their new harsh reality… and for all of them, torn apart by fear and suspicion, just when they needed the most to pull together and help each other.

But there was nothing she could do – nothing but wait for Kris, Adam, and the others to return – hopefully with some kind of help – before it was too late for Matt… and for her.

****************************************

It was strange, making their way down the vaguely familiar hallway they’d passed through several days earlier – days that felt like an eternity. Given the drastic change in their circumstances, it felt almost surreal, passing through the deserted hallway, glancing into the empty dressing rooms on either side, which no longer resembled dressing rooms at all.

“Wait,” Michael called out as they passed one, stepping into the doorway and glancing down the hall toward the others who had passed him. “There’s water bottles in here… and maybe food, there’s a whole wall of mini-fridges.”

“Great.” Kris’s smile was genuine, and he nodded encouragement for Michael’s find. “When we come back this way, we can restock our supplies.”

A slight twitch near Michael’s mouth was the only indication of his doubt as he nodded in agreement, but all four men fell silent as they continued on their way, none of them willing to voice the unspoken fear that filled each of their minds.

If _we come back this way…_

“I… I think the main auditorium was this way.” Adam finally broke the silence when they reached the end of the winding hall, to find another hall that branched off in either direction. He took an uncertain step toward the right, nodding as he seemed to remember. “Yeah… I’m sure it’s this way.”

“Why would we want to go there?” Danny’s tone was dubious, and vaguely suspicious.

“It’s the largest area in the entire building,” Kris pointed out, instinctively taking a supportive step closer to Adam as he faced Danny. “If they’re dealing with hundreds or thousands of cases of this disease, that’s where they’d most likely have the patients staying.”

Michael frowned, confused. “And… we _want_ to get _closer_ to the infected people because…?”

“Because that’s where the people in charge are gonna be.” Adam’s voice was firm, and his steps surer as he turned and headed down the hall in the direction he had chosen. “And we need to talk to someone who knows what’s going on. Come on, guys.”

Kris followed without hesitation – and a moment later, he heard the accompanying footsteps of their reluctant companions. Adam cast a grateful glance in his direction, and Kris offered a reassuring smile in return – though he didn’t feel like smiling. In fact, the further they went, the more unsettled he felt – a cold, nauseated feeling forming in the pit of his stomach.

And the mingled scents that began to drift toward them as they neared the auditorium didn’t exactly help with that feeling. There was a strongly medicinal scent, like the smell of bleach and other very strong cleaning fluids, mixed with something much worse – a sickly sweet, acrid odor that reminded Kris of the smell of rotting meat, except… except, it was somehow… _wrong_.

They continued glancing into every unlocked door they passed along their way, and while most the smaller rooms seemed to have been untouched since the night of the concert, there were a few exceptions.

It was in one of those rooms that Adam found the source of the horrible smell.

It assaulted their senses as soon as he cautiously opened the door, and he staggered back a step or two, eyes wide with dread. He glanced uncertainly at Kris, then the others, holding the door open just enough to stick his head around it and peer inside. A moment later he hurriedly backpedaled, slamming the door shut and leaning against it as if to hold in whatever he had seen there. His breath was rapid and shallow, his skin pale.

“There’s… there’s nothing in there we need,” Adam whispered, his voice trembling and soft. “Let’s go on.”

“Yeah,” Kris quietly agreed. “Let’s go on.”

He gently took Adam’s arm, steadying him as he straightened up, giving up the support of the door against which he was bracing. Kris was alarmed to feel how hard he was trembling, and left his arm around him a few moments longer than was necessary, urging him away from the door and further down the hall.

“What?” Danny asked, glancing bewildered between Michael, Kris and Adam, and the door, stopping just past it in the hall as if unwilling to go any further. “What’s in there? What’d he see?”

Michael’s gaze was dark and knowing as he gave Danny a less than gentle push to urge him along, muttering under his breath, “Think about it for a second, dumbass.”

Danny gave him an offended look, opening his mouth to protest – then froze when he saw the expression on Michael’s face. “Oh. _Oh_. Oh, God. Oh, _no_…”

“What did you expect?” Kris called over his shoulder, his tone terse and irritated. “The place is under quarantine. Sealed off. Where did you _think_ they’d put the…” He paused, his breath catching in his throat, and swallowed hard before forcing himself to finish. “… the… _bodies_.”

Kris hurried his pace to pass Adam when they neared the next door, willing to take the next trauma upon himself if necessary. After all, for all his worldly wisdom and experience, there were some things that Kris was familiar with which Adam had never had to see. Kris remembered well the first time he’d been faced with the cruel reality of death, as Adam had just been moments earlier. He knew what it was like to see whole cities fall to the merciless power of epidemic disease.

He had just never expected to see it so close to home.

Fortunately, however, the next room did not hold such a horrific scene as the one Adam had witnessed. Kris’s eyes widened with surprise, and he smiled, waving the others into the room behind him. The room appeared to have been used as a makeshift supply closet, and was filled with bandages and medicines, sanitizers and protective masks.

Kris grabbed a handful of the masks and tossed them to the others, stuffing his pockets full with more of them. “The less the others can be exposed, the better,” he explained unnecessarily. “Anything else we need, we can get when we’re leaving. We don’t want to be weighted down carrying stuff now…”

“If we’re leaving,” Michael corrected quietly, his voice only slightly muffled by the mask he had just put on. “We don’t know what’s going on yet.”

“No,” Kris admitted, his words slow and guarded as he put on his own mask. “But… don’t you think it’s weird that we haven’t run into a single living person yet?”

No one had an answer for that sobering observation. Kris silently led the way back out into the hall, and the others followed, pensive and troubled. The various explanations for why they had not yet run into any other survivors made the thin paper masks seem like a useless effort; but Kris still hoped that he might be wrong, that they might offer some shield against the invisible killer in the air surrounding them.

As they neared the auditorium, an unsettling sound reached their ears – the sound of chaos. Quiet, weak chaos, perhaps – but if the main question they needed to answer was “Who’s in charge?”, it quickly became apparent that the answer was “No one.”

As Kris and Adam had suspected, the auditorium had been laid out like an enormous medical clinic, with dozens of rows of cots all arranged in lines. Many of them had electronic monitors beside them to gauge the vital signs of the patients in the cots – but most of those monitors were letting off a disturbing, uninterrupted tone that told them there were no longer any vital signs to record.

Somewhat more disturbing to Kris than the sound itself, was the question of why no one had gotten around to turning the unnecessary monitors off.

As they slowly entered the auditorium, Kris noticed that there _were_ occasional quiet sounds of life – though those sounds were weak and disheartening. Shaky coughs and delirious whispers, pitiful pleas for help, or medicine, or just a glass of water – all mingled together into a muffled cacophony of suffering that was overwhelming, far greater and more formidable than anything Kris had ever faced in his missionary travels.

“Guys.”

Kris looked up to see that Danny had moved cautiously a little further into the room, and was now standing next to one of the cots, staring down at the still form that lay there, covered to the neck by a thin blanket. As Kris slowly approached, Danny reached over and switched the monitor off – though it was impossible to hear a difference amidst the dozens of others still sounding. As Kris reached the side of the bed, followed closely by Adam and Michael, his stomach dropped, and he understood why Danny had called their attention to this particular victim.

_Jessica…_

“Now we know why she never came back.” Michael’s observation was obvious and unnecessary, but the genuine sorrow in his voice took away any irritation Kris might have felt.

“And… maybe how Matt got sick,” Danny added.

The other three all looked to him in dismay, and he swallowed hard, staring down at the floor.

“She was bringing us all our supplies. She was… _touching_ everything. And who knows how long she had it? If we got it from her, then… then everyone in that room is probably infected. Sooner or later, we’re _all _gonna…”

“Danny, stop.” Adam’s voice was sharp, but trembling slightly. “We… don’t know that. This thing is _worldwide_, okay? _She _had to get it from someone – someone we were most likely exposed to before we ever knew what was happening. Before the show, or…” He shook his head, his voice trailing off.

“The thing is… it’s pretty safe to assume that everyone’s been exposed at this point,” Kris pointed out, his words measured and thoughtful. “If we weren’t before, we certainly are now. But… not everyone dies from this. Not everyone even gets it who’s exposed, so… so we can’t give up. We can’t just… assume we’re done for and sit down here and wait to die. We have to… to keep on going as long as we can, right?”

When his words were met with silence, Kris cast a severe look around at all three of his companions, repeating sharply, “_Right_?”

“Right,” Michael echoed at last, sounding a little shaky but resigned. “You’re right, Kris. If we’ve got a one in ten chance, well… that’s still a _chance_, isn’t it?”

“We stand a better chance if we get away from… from all this,” Adam pointed out softly, not quite looking at any of the bodies, dead and barely living, that surrounded them. “We need to get somewhere where there’s… less people. Less… chance of contamination. Right?”

Kris nodded slowly. “Yeah. The longer we stay here, the less chance we have of surviving. We need to get the others out of here while they’re still healthy.”

Awkward, sobered glances passed between them as all of their thoughts turned to Matt, and the certainty that he would _not_ be able to travel, not in his current condition. Kris swallowed hard, blinking back helpless tears of sorrow and frustration.

_Don’t think about it. You can’t do anything for him, so… think about what you_ can _do…_

_You_ can _get Katy and the others out of here before it’s too late…_

“Come on, guys,” he said at last, breaking the silence as he turned and headed swiftly back in the direction they had come. “Let’s go.”


	8. Chapter 8

“This has to be just… just _here_, right?”

Danny’s voice shook slightly as it broke the tense silence that had fallen among the little search party. “I mean… not _just_ here, but… but not _everywhere_…” He cast a fearful gaze among the others, none of whom ventured a response. “This just can’t be a good example of… of what it’s all like… out there…”

Finally, Adam replied, his voice low and heavy with resignation. “Whenever things started to get really bad in here, I’m sure they sent for help from… someone.” He shrugged slightly. “The government, the nearest hospital, _someone_. And… if there was help to be had… they would have shown up by now. And if they _did_ show up, and are now back there with… with all those other people…”

His voice trailed off… but he didn’t have to go on.

It was a sobering thought, but one that they all had to face – that all they might find outside the doors of the convention center that had become a mass grave was more death and chaos.

“It doesn’t matter what we find out there, though,” Kris spoke up after a moment. “We already know what’s in _here_, you know?”

They fell into silence again, each lost in his own troubled thoughts, until they reached the room where the others were waiting. They entered to find the room in silence. No one was milling around, talking, speculating, planning. Each small group was gathered in the place that they had claimed, and no one was saying a word. Kris frowned, uneasy when he realized that they were all focused on one area, though – the spot where he and Katy had set up their vigil with Matt.

His stomach lurched when he saw Katy, sitting on the floor with her knees drawn up under her, and Matt’s head resting in her lap. Allison sat beside her, her head on her shoulder, one hand covering her face as she cried quietly. Katy seemed oblivious to her, staring down at Matt and gently stroking his hair. She was sniffling, and her face was streaked with tears – and when she looked up at him, her face stricken with grief, Kris knew without even looking at his friend what had happened.

Matt was gone.

“Oh, Katy…”

Kris’s eyes welled with tears of compassion, for their fallen friend, for Allison who was far too young to be dealing with this kind of grief and pain, and for his wife who’d stayed with Matt until the end, despite the rejection of the others, none of whom had dared venture close enough to comfort her. Kris started toward Katy, casting a resentful glare around the room at the others.

“Stop.”

He froze, startled by the urgency he heard in her hoarse, tearful voice. He frowned. “Katy… what…?”

As he studied her more closely, Kris could see the traces of panic in Katy’s eyes, and the unhealthy flush in her cheeks, made more obvious by the pallid tone of the rest of her skin. He began shaking his head before she even spoke, his mind rebelling against the truth it’d already begun to put together.

“D-don’t come any closer to me,” Katy cried quietly, raising her hands to cover her face, her shoulders shaking with sobs. “I… I’ve got it, too. Just… just stay away…” As if her body was intent on proving her words, Katy’s admission was broken off in a fit of wet, painful coughing that left her breathless – and the entire room silent.

Adam, Danny, and Michael stood still, just inside the door, stunned and uncertain as to what to do next – their attention focused on Kris. Adam swallowed hard, then moved forward, one hand outstretched toward Kris’s shoulder; but Kris did not see him, and moved before Adam could touch him – walking with measured, purposeful steps across the room to close the distance between himself and his wife.

Katy’s head was lowered, buried in her hands, and she didn’t look up until Kris’s shadow fell over her. When she saw what he had done, she shook her head in dismay, tears streaming from her eyes.

“No,” she whispered. “No, baby. You can’t…”

“I took care of Matt as much as you did,” Kris reminded her gently, reaching out a hand to brush the tears from her eyes as he knelt at her side. Allison instinctively backed up a bit, giving them a little space. “I’ve already been around you this whole time. If I’m gonna catch it from you – then I already have. So… why should I stay away from you, when _with_ you is the only place I wanna be?”

Katy stared at him in troubled uncertainty for a long moment before relenting, lowering her head against his chest and crying softly as he wrapped his arms around her, taking the load she’d been bearing onto himself with his supportive embrace. He looked up at the others over her head, quietly defiant, daring them to challenge his decision. His gaze finally came to rest on Adam, who was standing just a step or two closer than the others, his lower lip caught between his teeth, his brow furrowed in momentary indecision. He took a single halting step, then froze when Drake’s voice spoke up in horror from their spot a few yards away.

“Adam, _no_!”

Adam met Drake’s gaze for a moment, anguished, before shaking his head. “I’m sorry. I have to.”

He crossed the room and sat down in the space Allison had just made between her and Katy, reaching out one comforting arm to wrap around Allison, and the other to grasp Kris’s hand at Katy’s back. He turned to look at Drake again, apology but no regret in his eyes. Drake stood helplessly in his spot, tensed, as if he wanted to go to Adam, but couldn’t quite overcome his fears enough to do so.

“We’ve all already been as exposed as we’re gonna be,” he pointed out, raising his voice enough that everyone could hear him. “What point is there in isolating anyone _now_?”

“And… not everyone dies from this,” Allison reminded them, her voice hoarse and desperately hopeful. She met Adam’s eyes for a moment, taking comfort in the encouraging nod he gave her and the gentle squeeze of her arm around her shoulders, before addressing the rest of the group. “People get better sometimes. They said on the news…”

“They _lied_ on the news,” Danny cut him off sharply, his voice trembling. “We haven’t seen a single survivor of this yet, have we? If she’s got it, then she’s contagious…”

“And so was Matt,” Adam interrupted, defensive anger in his voice. “And we’ve all already been exposed.” His voice softened slightly, and he looked around the room, his eyes and voice appealing for understanding and compassion. “Come on, guys. We can’t just leave her.” He focused on Michael, glancing between him and his family across the room. “If it was _your_ wife,” he stated, fixing Michael’s gaze with a sharp, penetrating look, “you wouldn’t just leave her.”

Michael seemed shaken, uncertain. He shook his head slowly, his voice anguished and pleading. “Yeah, man… but… but my wife’s still all right. My wife… and my kids… and… they might _not _be if… if she…”

“But she might be fine!” Kris insisted, holding Katy tighter as if to protect her from the harsh, insensitive words of the people they’d held to be friends. “You’re talking about her as if she’s already… already…”

“We’re not leaving her,” Adam spoke up sharply, rising to his feet – coming to Kris’s rescue when it seemed that he could not make himself finish. “We all stick together – _period_.”

“’Period’?” Danny echoed, taking a challenging step toward Adam, his arms crossed defiantly over his chest. “Who gave _you_ the deciding vote for the entire group?” He paused, looking around at the assembled group before declaring, “In fact, that’s what we should do – _vote_. All in favor of Katy coming with us, even knowing that she’s sick and we could all _die_ – raise your hands.”

Kris stared at Danny in horror, stricken by the thoughtless cruelty of his words. Adam’s eyes narrowed in fury, his fists clenched at his sides, as he took a step toward Danny.

“You heartless _bastard_,” he hissed. “God, what is _wrong_ with you?”

Danny took a hasty step backward, but Michael quickly moved between the two of them, heading off any impending confrontation before it could happen with an outstretched hand toward each of them.

“Come on, guys, this isn’t helping anyone,” he pointed out. When it seemed that the potential fight had been averted, Michael nodded, looking across the room at his family with a heavy sigh. “Let’s vote.”

No one moved or spoke for a long moment, before Adam set his jaw in stubborn determination and firmly, deliberately raised his hand high. No one was surprised when Allison raised a trembling hand as well, even as her other hands swiped at the tears that streaked her face. Adam waited, scanning the room, for someone else to take a stand and show that they were still willing, in spite of the crisis, to consider the well-being of the rest of the group as well as themselves.

No one else raised their hands.

Adam surveyed the room with accusing eyes, taking in Lil and her family, then Michael and his family, Danny,  and Matt’s girlfriend, all in turn. None of them would meet his eyes. At last, his gaze fell on Drake, who _was_ meeting his eyes with a stricken expression in his own. Adam raised his eyebrows in a silent question, his gaze unfaltering as he waited for an explanation.

“I’m sorry,” Drake whispered, shaking his head. “I just… I can’t see risking it, when… when it could mean…” His words trailed off, and he lowered his gaze to the floor. “I… I just can’t.”

“See?” Danny pointed out, waving a hand to indicate the room full of mostly unraised hands. “Most of us can see reason on this. We can’t risk the entire group because of one single person who’s probably a lost cause already…”

“Danny, shut up already!” Lil spoke up, her voice shaking dangerously, her face streaked with tears. She turned toward Adam, an anguished look of guilt in her eyes. “I… I can’t take a chance with my babies. If it was just me, but… but it’s not, and… I have to try to protect them, but…” She paused, glaring at Danny as she concluded, “… but that doesn’t mean I have to be an asshole about it!”

“Whatever.” Adam’s voice was cold, accusing, as he sat back down, wrapping one protective arm around Kris and Katy, and the other around Allison. “You all have to live with your own choice. We’re _not_ leaving them.”

“Fine,” Danny snapped. “We’ll split up then. We’ll go ahead and leave now… and you guys wait an hour or so and then set off on your own.”

Adam shook his head in disbelief at Danny’s insensitivity. “You know what you’re gonna run into out there?” he stated softly. “A whole lot more of what’s in here. You guys think you’re going to be able to avoid coming in contact with people who are sick or dying? Or _dead_, for that matter? You’re not. You’re taking your chances as it is.” He paused, looking around at the others as he continued sadly, “We may be the only people left alive in… well… we may be the only people left _alive_, for all we know! I don’t think any of us can afford to write _anyone_ off just yet. But, whatever. Make your own choice.” He paused, looking at Kris and Katy before looking back at the others. “I’ve made mine.”

Silence fell for a moment before Danny broke it abruptly. “Come on. Whoever’s with me, let’s head out. Get whatever supplies you have, and we’ll grab more on the way out. We found a supply closet near the exit. Let’s get going, the sooner we’re out of here, the better…”

As the others began preparing to leave around them, Allison shifted in closer to Kris and Katy, pressing in against Katy’s back and placing a supportive hand on Kris’s shoulder, so that Allison, Adam, and Kris were effectively surrounding Katy with the security of their warmth and support. Katy was still crying softly, and Kris was, too, though he was trying not to let her see it. Adam felt a heavy knot settle in his throat, and found himself blinking back the stinging sensation in his eyes.

_Can’t give in to it. Have to be strong, for them. They need you right now, more than ever – because right now, you’re all they’ve got…_

“Maybe they’re right,” Katy whispered at last, casting an anxious look between Kris and Adam. “I’m not feeling too good, guys. I don’t know… I mean… we don’t know if anyone actually _is_surviving this, do we? Maybe… you should just go on with them…”

“Are you crazy?” Kris demanded, his voice tearful as he gripped her arms and pushed her back slightly to meet her eyes, his own incredulous and a little hurt. “There is _no way_ I’m leaving you, ever! I’ll _die_ beside you first!” His voice softened as he reminded her, “In sickness and in health, remember? I know this is… a little bit of an extreme version of that, but… but I still made a vow to you, Katy. And… I’d make it again. I’d rather be dead with you than to leave you and live without you.”

Katy’s eyes softened with love and gratitude, and she leaned in to softly kiss Kris’s cheek.  After a moment, she turned slightly toward Adam, then Allison, with a look of worried affection.

“_You_ two didn’t make any vows to me,” she stated softly. “You should go, guys, while you still can…”

Adam and Allison exchanged a wordless look, their decision clear in their eyes.

“No.” Adam spoke for both of them, and his voice carried no trace of doubt. “We’re in this together or not at all, Katy.”

“We love you guys, and there’s no way we’re leaving you alone,” Allison agreed. “Whatever happens… good or bad… we’ll know at least one thing: we’ll be going into it _together_.”


	9. Chapter 9

They were a small but formidable force – the tiny group huddled against the wall of the room, now busy with activity as the others around them began to gather their meager belongings. No one spoke to them; it seemed easier to the others to pretend that they were not there, than to face the guilt of the realization that they were leaving them behind.

Kris and Katy were so thoroughly focused on each other that they barely noticed what was happening around them. Katy was crying quietly, and Kris seemed to be putting all of his strength into holding her up, whispering quiet, trembling reassurances in her ear as he held her. Allison just seemed hurt and confused by what was happening, as if she couldn’t quite process it. She occasionally sought out the gaze of one of the people she had so long considered to be among her closest friends, her expression earnest and seeking, only to give up when they would swiftly look away, shutting her out with their own guilt.

Adam boldly watched their preparations, silently daring any of them to offer any further explanation or excuse for what seemed to him to be nothing short of animalistic cruelty – but no one ventured to look at them, let alone speak to them, as they gathered most of the remaining supplies, and what few personal belongings they had with them, and gathered near the door.

Danny turned the handle in his hand – then hesitated, turning back toward them and crouching directly in front of Allison with a sorrowful, sympathetic look on his face. “Alli… it’s still not too late. You’re not sick yet, and… and you might be fine…”

“Danny.” Michael cleared his throat, standing behind him, and Danny turned to look up at him. Michael’s voice was low, and he looked around uncomfortably, unable to meet anyone’s eyes as he ventured, apologetic but unyielding, “She’s… she’s been all over Katy for the last few hours. We can’t… man, what’s the point if we just let her…”

Danny looked back at Allison, a troubled frown creasing his face, clearly torn. He shook his head slowly. “Alli… I…”

“Save your breath.” She fairly spat the words at him, her dark eyes gleaming with defiance as she sneered, “I’ve already made my choice, so don’t bother your conscience over _me_.” She glanced down at Katy, anger smoldering in her eyes when she looked back up at Danny and concluded, “I’m pretty sure it’s got enough to deal with already.”

Danny flinched slightly, his lips parted as if to protest – then closed his mouth slowly, swallowing hard. He rose to his feet, looking away for a moment, before nodding in sorrowful acceptance.

“All right. This just… is what it is. There’s nothing we can do about…” His voice trailed off, and he turned his considerably harder gaze toward Adam. “We left you some of the water. There’s not much of the food left that’s still edible, but you know where to get a little more… if you need it.” His tone made it clear that he doubted they’d survive long enough to reach that point.

Adam’s eyes narrowed coldly. “We’ll need it,” he assured Danny. “Don’t worry about us. We’ll be just fine. Better off, in fact.”

Michael took a step forward, shaking his head. “Man, I’m sorry, but you have to understand…”

“We _understand_ perfectly.” Kris spoke up, his voice hoarse from crying, yet sharp enough to cut through Michael’s stronger tones and bring him to silence. “Stop trying to make yourselves feel better about what you’re doing, when you already know it’s not going to change it. You’ve already made your decision. So… do it. Do what you have to do, and… leave us alone.” He looked up, his dark eyes filled with challenge as he met Michael’s stricken gaze. “Adam’s right. We’ll be better off without you.”

Danny turned and made his way back to the door in silence, leading the others out into whatever lay beyond the false safety this room had provided. Once the door closed behind them, the room fell into an eerie stillness, suddenly seeming ten times as big as it had seemed when they’d first entered it just a few short days earlier. They sat there in silence, holding onto the only thing they had left – each other – until finally, Allison broke the silence in a voice that sounded far younger than her eighteen years.

“So… what do we do now?”

*****************************************

“Wasn’t that supply room this way?” Kris frowned as he came to a halt at the end of one of the many halls that traced around the perimeter of the main auditorium, looking uncertainly both ways.

“Pretty sure it was,” Adam agreed, passing him and leading the way to the left down the hall. “We’ll stock up on whatever’s left of the food and medical supplies – whatever the others didn’t take already – and then out to the parking lot.”

“Whose car should we take?” Katy asked. “Kris and I came together, obviously. You two each drove, right?”

Adam’s stomach lurched slightly at the weak, rasping sound of her voice, and he glanced at her as casually as possible, trying not to look as if he was assessing her condition. Thankfully, she still seemed to be holding up all right, easily keeping up with the others, despite the increasing frequency of her cough and the unhealthy flush in her face.

“Yours probably gets better gas mileage, but… we don’t know what the roads are going to be like…” Adam frowned, pensive. “If we end up having to go off-road, my car can probably handle it better.” He stopped outside the door of the storage room, worry creasing his brow. “This… _was_ the right room, right?” His stomach felt a little queasy at the thought of what he’d found upon opening the wrong door earlier that afternoon.

“I’ll check,” Kris volunteered, stepping forward and reaching for the door handle, giving Adam a sympathetic look.

Adam offered a weak smile of gratitude, his voice soft and a little shaky. “Thanks.”

Fortunately, it was the right room.

They’d brought a couple of coolers from the room where they’d been staying, and the four of them busily set about loading them down with food, water, and medical supplies. When they were finished, Adam reached into the pocket of his jeans.

“So… my car?”

“Sure, sounds good,” Kris agreed, picking up one of the coolers in both hands. “Lead the way…” His voice trailed off and he frowned when he saw the expression on Adam’s face. “What’s wrong? What is it?”

Adam was staring down at the floor, his hand frozen in his pocket, his jaw working with his futile effort to repress his emotion. Kris set down the cooler again and slowly approached him, reaching out a cautious, gentle hand to rest on Adam’s arm.

“What is it?” he asked again, his voice soft and gently leading. “Adam, what’s wrong?”

“I… I don’t have my keys…”

“That’s okay,” Allison assured him, hesitantly approaching from the other side and wrapping her arm around his waist. “Adam, we can take someone else’s car, it’s no…”

“Drake has them.”

Allison fell silent, her face falling with sympathetic sorrow. Her voice was barely over a whisper when she spoke again. “Oh.”

“He was… holding onto them during the show, so I wouldn’t have to take them on stage, or… or leave them…” Adam’s voice trailed off, and he looked away, shaking his head. He raised one hand to cover his eyes, whispering under his breath, “I’m sorry… I’m sorry, guys…”

“No.” Kris’s voice was stern, but compassionate. “Adam, there’s nothing to be sorry for. Look at me, Adam. No, _look at me_,” Kris insisted when Adam just shook his head – and at last, Adam reluctantly complied, tears shining in his eyes. Kris gave him a sad, mirthless smile as he glanced pointedly around the room, shaking his head. “Who are you trying to protect?”

“Wh-what?” Adam frowned, confused.

“Katy’s sick.” Kris swallowed hard, taking a moment to process the painful truth of his own words before going on. “We could all get sick, or… worse. We know the drill, okay? We know… what we’re facing, here. And… we’re all facing it together, right? That’s what you said, isn’t it? So… there’s nobody left for you to… to _protect_ from… whatever it is you’re _feeling_, okay? It’s just us, Adam.” Kris edged nearer to him, his hands resting supportively on Adam’s arms, steadying him as he looked up and held his gaze intently, a quiet promise in his words. “It’s just us.”

Adam was quiet for a moment, torn between his instinctive desire to be strong for the others, and the comforting truth – perhaps the _only_ comforting truth in this situation they were in – that they were laying out for him. They were alone, and small in number, against a very frightening unknown – but the single benefit of their situation was that they _knew_, beyond all doubt, that the four of them would be there for each other, no matter what happened.

There was no need for Adam’s protective walls anymore – not when the only people who surrounded him were people who loved him.

“I… I just… I didn’t expect him to leave,” Adam confessed at last, his voice small and breaking over the words as he lowered his head, raising one hand to shield his face. “We’ve been together for years. I… I thought he _loved_ me! How could he just… just _leave_ me like that?”

“I’m sorry, Adam.” Kris’s voice was low and gentle, but touched with a note of anger and resentment. “Some people just… things like this make them show their true colors. I’m sorry he… he wasn’t what you thought he was. But… if he’s not willing to stick it out with you until the end, then… obviously he doesn’t deserve to be with you. If he didn’t love you the way you deserve to be loved, then… you’re probably better off finding out about it now, than later on down the road when you’re depending on him when it really counts, you know?”

“Adam… he _does_ love you.”

Katy’s soft words surprised them both, and both men turned to look at her through troubled, questioning eyes. Her eyes were shadowed with dark circles, her face flushed, but there was a sad, sympathetic smile on her face as she reached out a gentle hand to cover Kris’s on Adam’s arm.

“Situations like this… I don’t know. I’m not sure there’s ever _been_ a situation like this, but… fear… facing the unknown…” She shook her head, looking away with a pensive expression. “People do crazy things when they’re scared out of their minds – things they would never do under ordinary conditions. When they have time to think about what they’ve done, later… they’ll regret it. And… they’ll have to live with, the rest of their lives, the decision they made out of panic today.”

She looked up at Adam again, and he was startled to realize that the tears of sorrow and compassion he saw shining in her eyes were for the very people that had just abandoned her to die. Adam wasn’t sure if that level of forgiveness was reasonable, or wise; he had no desire to think kindly of the people that had just turned their backs on years of friendship.

Still – he thought that maybe Kris had been right, nearly two years ago in the Idol mansion, when he’d gushed to Adam about his new bride, and told him that Katy was the kindest, most compassionate soul he’d ever known.

_God, _Kris…

Adam’s stomach lurched with the sudden, agonizing realization of a fact he’d been trying to shut out of his mind. It was nearly impossible to do so, however, when faced with the shadowed, hollow angles of Katy’s face, in combination with the nearly angelic expression of love and compassion in her eyes.

_When… when it happens… when she goes… Kris is going to fall apart…_

_And... you’re going to have to find a way to hold him together._


	10. Chapter 10

“Come on. The exits should be this way.”

Kris led the way around the entrance that would have led them into the main auditorium. He and Adam were in silent agreement: there was no reason for Allison or Katy to have to see the gruesome scene that lay beyond those doors. 

 

As they reached the main lobby, however, Kris realized with dismay that there would be no way to completely protect them from the grim reality of their situation. Apparently, the auditorium had not been large enough to contain all of those stricken ill with the virus. A single long row of pallets lay along the circular hall that surrounded the auditorium, each with a person lying on it – still and silent, without a sign of life anywhere.

 

“Come on,” Kris repeated, his voice hoarse but carrying a note of urgency as he wrapped his arm around Katy’s waist, supporting her, and continued his trembling but purposeful pace toward the exits.

 

At the doors, they found more bodies, though these did not appear to have died of the sickness. Their skin was not marred with the strange, deep purple discoloration that marked those who had fallen victim to the virus. When Kris looked closer, he could see that several of them had obvious gunshot wounds. Directly beside the doors, facing them, were the men Kris supposed to be their killers – uniformed military men, their weapons still in hand, though their bodies were still, their eyes staring, their skin a mottled purple shade.

 

_They stayed at their posts… right up until the disease killed them… trying to keep people from leaving, and spreading this further…_

 

… _but… something tells me they were wasting their time._

 

The soft sound of quiet sobs beside him drew Kris’s attention from his thoughts. He glanced beside him at Allison, leaning into Adam’s side with his arm wrapped around her, his hand belatedly shielding her eyes. Her shoulders were shaking as she cried, and Adam was murmuring gentle, shushing sounds – though his own face was streaked with silent tears.

 

Katy was trembling at Kris’s side, and he instinctively tightened his grip around her waist, holding her up. He couldn’t help but wonder whether her increasing weakness was due to the disturbing sight before their eyes, or the illness that was swiftly intensifying in her body.

 

He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer.

 

“Let’s just… go on to the car.” Adam spoke up softly, breaking them out of their shocked stillness.

 

Kris nodded slowly, swallowing hard, unable to bring himself to speak.

 

_Yeah. Yeah, let’s put as much distance between us and this place as we possibly can._

The street outside was eerily silent. Parked cars lined the sidewalk, but the road itself was deserted – at least the brief stretch of it that they could see from the doorway in which they stood. There were no people, no traffic – none of the usual busy background noise that brought downtown Los Angeles to life. 

 

_Where is everybody?_

 

A sobering thought immediately followed that question in Kris’s mind, and his mouth went dry, his palms damp, a sick sensation in the pit of his stomach with the possibility that he did not want to consider.

 

_Is there anybody left?_

 

Kris didn’t realize that they had stopped until he felt Katy’s gentle push at his side, heard her troublingly hoarse voice, hushed and close beside him. “We parked over that way, didn’t we?”

Kris nodded, leading the way to the parking garage across the street where they had parked before the show – the show that now seemed to have happened a couple of lifetimes ago. 

 

Kris took the keys from his pocket, pressing the button to unlock the doors. The cheerful chirping sound the car made as the doors unlocked felt strange and unnatural in the eerie stillness that surrounded them. Kris tossed his keys to Adam, nodding toward the backseat as he opened the door for Katy and then followed her inside. Allison took the front seat next to Adam. Adam hesitated a moment before starting the car, drawing in a deep, shaky breath before turning the key in the ignition.

Kris understood his hesitation perfectly. 

 

Their phones hadn’t worked for days. They hadn’t heard from a living person outside their own little group in nearly as long. Everything around them seemed to be cloaked in a strange silence, as if some invisible dome had descended upon them, separating them from the reality they knew.

 

It almost seemed as if the car _shouldn’t_ start.

 

But it did.

 

Adam let out the breath he’d been holding in a trembling sigh, offering Kris a taut, anxious smile in the rearview mirror. “Half a tank. We can make it to Mom’s place, easy, and then… go from there.”

 

They’d agreed to go to Adam’s mom’s house first, as she lived the closest of any of their families. They all wanted to get home as fast as possible, to check on the loved ones they couldn’t check on by phone; but only Adam’s and Allison’s families lived close enough to make that immediately possible. Adam’s mother lived in L.A., while Allison’s family lived a couple of hours outside of the city.

 

It only made sense to go first to the cozy little home Adam had purchased for his mother, where they could rest and regroup, stock up on supplies, and decide where to go from there.

 

As it turned out, going _anywhere_ was not going to be an easy task.

Kris’s heart sank as Adam turned a corner onto the main road, only to find that it was impossibly blocked by a tangled nightmare of traffic – abandoned vehicles simply left in the middle of the road, when their drivers had been turned away from the roadblocks. Apparently, those drivers hadn’t been willing to take no for an answer, judging by the bodies strewn about near the now-abandoned military vehicles that blocked the road. 

Those who had stubbornly tried to wait out the roadblocks in their vehicles seemed to have fared no better. Kris shuddered at the disturbing sight of the still bodies that sat behind the wheels of some of the cars, as if they had simply sat there waiting to be allowed to leave the city, until the illness had overwhelmed them. 

 

No one spoke as they stared out the windows at the desolate scene that surrounded them. No one seemed to know what to say, or any way to put into words the thoughts and feelings inspired by the surreal, horrific reality in which they had suddenly found themselves.

 

Adam silently backed the car up and turned around, going the opposite direction down the main road – only to find a similar situation just a couple of blocks down.

 

“What are we going to do?” Allison’s voice sounded very young and scared as she stared out the window at the desolate carnage that surrounded them, her eyes wide and shell-shocked.

 

“Don’t worry,” Adam reassured her with a warm smile that didn’t quite touch his eyes, reaching out a hand to give hers a gentle squeeze. “I know a back way. I’ll get us there all right.”

It took a little while to find roads that were clear in the right direction, but true to his word, Adam eventually managed to get the car across the city to his mother’s home. By the time they reached it, however, his hands were visibly trembling on the wheel, his mouth taut with fear that he had not expressed in words – fear that Kris was feeling too. 

 

They hadn’t seen a single living person since they’d left the arena.

 

Adam had barely parked the car before he was out of it and running up the walkway to the front door. Kris’s heart sank when he saw the broken front windows, and the door hanging sideways off its hinges.

 

“Adam, wait!” he called out. “Wait a second!”

 

But Adam didn’t listen, and with Katy in his arms, there was little Kris could do to stop him. Allison stayed close behind Adam – and Kris wasn’t sure whether that was a good thing or not.

 

_Depends on what they find inside…_

 

“Come on,” he murmured, helping Katy out of the car and hurrying as much as she could handle toward the front door. “Let’s go…”

“Mom?” Adam’s voice echoed through the empty halls of the house as Kris and Katy stepped through the doorway. “_Mom_! Is anybody here?” His voice trembled dangerously, and as he rounded the corner and came face to face with Kris and Katy again, his eyes were wild and panicked. 

 

Kris helped Katy to sit down in a puffy leather chair just inside the front room, before moving swiftly forward to face Adam, putting his hands on Adam’s arms in a steadying touch. Adam stared down at him in panic, shaking his head, his eyes welling with tears.

 

“She’s not here. Kris, where is she? She’s not here!”

 

“Maybe that’s a good thing,” Kris suggested gently. “You didn’t find any… any bodies, either, did you?”

 

“No…” Adam admitted dubiously.

 

“Then… maybe she got out of town before they started barricading everyone in…”

 

“What does it matter?” Adam demanded, pulling away from Kris’s embrace in agitation and turning down the hallway as if to begin his search again. “This is _everywhere._ What does it matter where she went? She’s just not _here_ – and how am I supposed to find her?”

 

Kris glanced down at Katy with a worried frown as Adam took off through the house again. She looked pale and weak, her face broken out in a cold sweat, but she gave him an encouraging nod in the direction in which Adam had gone.

 

“I’m fine,” she assured him softly. “Go after him. You need to see if you can calm him down.”

 

Kris gave her a sad, grateful smile, leaning down to tenderly kiss her brow and squeezing her hand before following after Adam.

 

He found him sitting on the edge of his mother’s bed, Allison at his side with one arm wrapped around him and a sad, sympathetic expression on her face. Adam’s hands covered his face, his shoulders shaking as he cried quietly. Kris cautiously approached, sitting down at his other side and wrapping one of his own arms around Adam to join Allison’s.

 

“She’s strong, Adam,” he reminded him softly. “And very smart. The fact that she’s not here… I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but it _is_ a good sign. It means… it means she wasn’t just sitting here waiting around to get sick. Wherever she went, whatever she did – she took action.”

 

“What if it was the _wrong_ action?” Adam sniffled, swiping angrily at his tears. “What if she made it somewhere else, but then…”

 

“Adam, you could kill yourself thinking about the ‘what if’s’.” Kris’s voice was soft but firm. “But it wouldn’t do any good. The truth is, yeah… she might not have made it. But you don’t know that. She might _have_ made it. You can’t assume the worst, when you don’t know.” He was quiet for a moment, looking away, swallowing hard before going on softly, “There’s enough ‘worst’ that we _do_ know.”

 

Adam was silent, taking in Kris’s words, but not quite accepting them. After a moment, he broke the silence, his voice small and defeated, hoarse with tears.

 

“I… I don’t even know where to begin to _look_ for her…”

 

“For now, Adam… let’s try to get some rest, okay? You can’t even think straight right now, you’re so tired,” Kris reminded him gently. “Let’s just… try to get a good night’s sleep… in an _actual bed_ for the first time in days… and when we wake up, I’ll help you search the house if you like. Maybe she left a note or something. I don’t think she’d leave the city without at least trying to let you know, right?”

 

“Maybe she couldn’t,” Adam pointed out sadly. “Who knows _what_ happened?”

 

“Let’s think about it later, okay?” Kris soothed him, running his hand slowly up and down Adam’s back. “For now, let’s go ahead the way we planned – rest up, get a bite to eat, gather up some supplies… and then decide from there what we’re going to do next. We still have to check on Alli’s family, and… and see if we can figure out a way to head toward my and Katy’s families. I… I don’t know if we can, but…” Kris’s voice trailed off, and he shook his head with a weary sigh. “Let’s just… try to rest. Okay, Adam?”

 

“Okay,” Adam whispered, but it seemed to be an automatic response. His eyes were distant and troubled, his voice dejected and distracted – and Kris was fairly certain that he wouldn’t be getting much sleep at all that night.

In fact, it wasn’t likely that any of them would. 


	11. Chapter 11

Kris and Allison just sat with Adam for a long time, surrounding him with their support and reassurance, but it didn't seem to be helping. Adam was shaking violently – and Kris could hardly blame him. The only thing that was keeping him from falling apart wondering about his own parents' safety was the fact that he could still imagine them, somehow, safe at home – but Adam didn't even have the relief of illusion left to him at this point.

 

He'd been going strong for days, barely sleeping at all, doing his best to hold together a group of terrified people that had been falling apart at the seams. Then, when his valiant efforts had finally failed, he'd been abandoned by the person with whom he'd shared the last two years of his life.

 

_He's not giving himself any room to breathe... still thinks he's got to take care of us all, and hold everything together... and _nobody _can keep up that kind of pace_ forever...

 

“It's going to be all right,” Kris whispered, gently rubbing his back. “We'll find her.” 

 

Even as he spoke, however, he couldn't help glancing anxiously toward the bedroom door, thinking of Katy still sitting in the living room alone. As he looked back toward Adam, Allison caught his gaze, a knowing expression in her eyes. She gave him a meaningful look as she rose to her feet, kissing Adam on the cheek before heading for the door.

 

“I'll go check on Katy,” she offered softly. “You guys... take your time.”

 

Kris felt a rush of gratitude for the girl who so often seemed to possess a level of wisdom beyond her years. With a single look and a few well-placed words, she had clearly conveyed that he should stay here with Adam and let her check on Katy, because she apparently felt that Adam needed him more right now than he needed her. And – she was probably right. Kris and Allison both knew Adam well enough to know that he was not likely to open up to her about his deepest fears. He was too concerned with protecting her from the bleaker aspects of their reality for as long as possible.

 

Kris, on the other hand – Kris could handle it. 

 

If Adam was going to open up to anyone, it would probably be him.

 

“Come on, Adam,” Kris murmured, gently pushing at his shoulder as he retreated across the bed, making room for Adam's long legs. “Why don't you just lie down for a little while? You haven't slept in... well, days. Literally. Just... try to rest, okay?”

 

“I can't, I can't...” Adam whispered, shaking his head in resistance even as he allowed Kris to push him down onto his back, drawing his legs up onto the bed. “Oh, God... _Mom_...” 

 

The word was almost a sob, tearing at Kris's heart, and he ran a soothing hand through Adam's hair. “Shh... it's gonna be all right.” As he murmured words that felt useless and shallow, Kris pulled Adam's boots from his feet, then drew back the blanket and laid it over Adam's trembling form before lying down beside him, staying on top of the covers himself.

 

“I've got this, Adam,” he murmured soothingly, with a confidence in his voice that he wished he actually felt. “Just rest. I can take care of things for a little while, all right? Just... sleep.”

 

He ran his hand up and down Adam's back in a firm, soothing motion, bracing himself on his other elbow and humming softly until Adam's frantic whispered worries faded into silence, and his breathing finally became deep and even with sleep. Once he was sure that Adam was too deep in sleep to be disturbed by the motion, Kris rose from the bed and made his way silently out of the bedroom, carefully closing the door behind him.

 

The living room was empty, but he followed the sounds of activity to the kitchen, where he found Allison searching the cupboards – with little success. The cupboards she'd already searched had been left open, and Kris could see that they were mostly bare. His mind flashed back to the broken windows he'd noticed on the way into the house, and he felt a heavy sensation of fear and discouragement.

 

_The entire world is different now. Just... just _ surviving _is going to be a battle..._

 

Fortunately, Allison's search was not completely fruitless, as two cans of vegetables already sat on the counter, along with a wooden spoon; and as he watched, she withdrew a saucepan from a cupboard near the floor, holding it up with a little sound of triumph. Just then, she noticed him standing in the doorway and jumped a little, letting out an embarrassed laugh in her relief – but not before Kris caught the flash of panic in her wide, frightened eyes.

 

“Don't _do_ that to me, man,” she warned, her voice trembling nervously. “You might get knocked over the head with a pan or something, before you get the chance to taste the amazing dinner I'm gonna make us.”

 

Kris returned her smile, though his own was tired, as he took a seat at the kitchen table and watched her preparations. “Where's Katy?”

 

“Sleeping in one of the other bedrooms. I just checked on her again a minute ago. She's out.”

 

Kris nodded slowly, accepting that information with relief, resting his elbows on the table and his head in his hands for a moment before standing up again with a weary sigh.

 

He couldn't afford to rest yet.

 

He walked to the refrigerator, opening it with an approving nod when he saw that the light still came on, and it was still cold inside, even if there was very little actual food left inside. They still had electricity, then, though he had no idea how long that might last. After all, you needed _people _ to keep the electricity running – and at the moment there seemed to be a severe shortage of them. There were emergency generators, he knew, designed to keep the electricity running for a time, in the event that the people responsible for that did not do their job, but Kris had no idea how long _those _ would last, either.

 

Kris gave Allison a quick hug from behind as she stirred the vegetables on the stove, before turning and heading for the bedroom she'd indicated, to check on Katy. She was sleeping peacefully, the sick flush having faded a little from her face with the opportunity to rest.

 

_Maybe she'll get better, then. The news said some people would survive... _

 

… but then... where are _they?_

 

Kris made his way down the hall to the bathroom, where he began searching through the cabinets for anything they might find useful. He took a couple of rolls of toilet paper and a large bottle of antibacterial hand soap from under the sink, setting them on the counter for quick access later when they were preparing to leave, before turning his attention toward the medicine cabinet. 

 

There was a half a bottle of leftover antibiotics that Leila had neglected to finish, and some ordinary pain relievers and fever reducers. Kris took them down, reminding himself that they weren't supposed to work against this strange new illness – but he had to give them a try, had to give _anything_ a try at this point.

 

By the time Allison had finished preparing a makeshift meal of canned vegetables with bread and butter from the refrigerator, Adam and Katy had only been sleeping for about half an hour. Kris decided it was best to let them rest a little while longer. The vegetables would reheat when they were ready to wake up. The two of them ate their meal in silence, each preoccupied with their own troubled thoughts. 

 

Every now and then, Allison cast an uncertain glance in his direction, her eyes unusually large and fearful as she'd open her mouth as if to speak – and then think better of whatever she had been going to say. Kris thought he knew what kept her quiet, and didn't push her to speak her thoughts aloud. He was pretty sure he knew how she felt.

 

Some fears were simply too horrifying to allow the reality of putting them into words.

 

When they were finished, Kris rose from the table, taking the medicine bottles he'd retrieved from the bathroom in one hand. He walked to Allison's side and leaned down to press a gentle kiss against her temple before drawing back to meet her eyes.

 

“We're going to be okay,” he assured her – but the comfort was meaningless, and when Allison searched his eyes for reassurance, he knew that she could see how empty his words were.

 

He left the living room and made his way to the room where Katy was sleeping to sit down on the bed at her side. She stirred restlessly, frowning, unwilling to wake up, but he managed to rouse her enough to get her to swallow a few pills with a glass of cold water. She barely awakened at all, and drifted right back to sleep as soon as she'd taken the medicine. There was nothing left to do at that point, so Kris lay down behind her, wrapping a gentle arm around her over-heated body and tucking his head against her shoulder, closing his eyes to force back the fearful tears that formed there.

 

It was the first time in over a week that any of them had slept in an actual bed – and yet, Kris wasn't sure that he'd be able to sleep at all.

 

*****************************************

 

Adam awakened abruptly in the middle of the night, sitting up in the bed and blinking into the darkness as he tried to remember where he was and how he'd gotten there. He felt as if he should have been waking up back in the large room where he'd spent the past week with his fellow Idols – but there was a soft bed under him, and the room was pitch black, and there'd always been at least a little light in that big common room.

 

Of course, it had not been natural light. Locked away in that strange place, underground, for days on end – it had left Adam with a sense of disconnection, as if his internal clock had simply ceased to function, and time along with it. Now, however, they were free from the claustrophobic confines of that place, free to rejoin reality – though it was not a reality that any of them wanted to accept... 

 

… and suddenly, it all came flooding back to his mind, coiling tightly, painfully in his chest..

 

_Mom. Mom, where are you?_

 

Adam rose from the bed, reaching for the bedside lamp, half-expecting it not to work – but it did, filling the room with a dim, muted glow that was oddly comforting. He headed out into the hallway, glancing into the room that had always been his when he'd come to visit, to find Allison sound asleep in the bed. He continued down the hall to the next bedroom; Katy was sleeping fitfully there – alone – tossing restlessly and moaning softly in her sleep.

 

Adam's heart clenched with fear, his mouth going dry, but he made himself softly close the door again and go on to the bedroom around the corner. 

 

The door was open a little, and the light was on inside, so Adam knocked softly before pushing it open. 

 

Kris sat up in the middle of the large bed, the covers pulled up over his lap – wide awake and staring at the blank, snowy white screen of the television – turned on, but useless at this point. Adam walked around it, turning it off and stopping for a moment to look at Kris – but Kris didn't even seem to have noticed that he was there. Adam moved the rest of the way around the bed and sat down cautiously on the other side of it, reaching out a trembling hand to rest over Kris's fist, white-knuckled and taut, clenched in the blanket that half-covered him.

 

“Kris... are you okay?” Adam's voice was hushed, tentative, and at first he wasn't sure that Kris had even heard him.

 

Finally, however, Kris met his gaze, his dark eyes stricken with hurt and fear as he slowly shook his head. “She... she didn't even know me.”

 

“What?” Adam frowned, confused. “Who...?”

 

“Katy,” Kris whispered, looking away, tears streaking his face, and Adam felt a cold sense of dread as he went on. “She... she was delirious, I guess. She... acted like she was afraid of me. She... she yelled at me to get out, so... so I... got out...” There was something so lost and despairing in the words that Adam's heart broke for his friend, and he reached out a gentle arm to wrap around his shoulders.

 

“She didn't mean it, Kris,” he assured him, resting his head on his friend's shoulder. “You know she didn't.”

 

“I know,” Kris whispered, turning his face into Adam's hair, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs he was struggling to hold back. “I know, but... but that's... it's _worse_...”

 

Adam turned to face Kris more fully, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close, murmuring nonsense shushing sounds of comfort as Kris broke down in his arms. 

 

_ She's going to be okay... _

 

The soothing words rose to his lips automatically, but Adam bit them back, well aware that they were probably a lie.

 

_ She's delirious – and that means she's getting worse. _

 

_ He's going to lose her soon – and they can't even have this little time they have left, together? She's his whole life – and she's scared of him, doesn't even know him... _

 

Adam's chest ached with sympathy for his friend, though he couldn't quite imagine the level of suffering Kris was feeling – and what was still ahead for him to feel, when the inevitable finally happened. 

 

After a little while, Kris fell asleep again, his head in Adam's lap – and at some point after that, Adam drifted off as well. 

 

When he woke up again a couple of hours later, Allison had joined them, snuggled into Kris's other side, one arm cast across his body to rest on Adam's arm. He gave her a sleepy, affectionate smile before allowing himself to fall back to sleep.

 

***************************************

 

Kris awakened the following morning to the dawning light falling through the window, hopelessly entangled between his two friends. He blinked sleepily as his eyes adjusted to the light, glancing around the room – then freezing at the sight of Katy standing in the bedroom doorway.

 

She was leaning against the doorjamb, a soft smile on her lips. Her eyes were deeply shadowed, and her face was pale; she looked as if she hadn't slept at all – but there was warmth and love in her eyes as she took in the sight of the three of them nestled together on the bed. 

 

Kris returned her smile, blinking back tears of mingled relief and sorrow as he carefully lifted Allison's arm off of him, then shifted out from between them, doing his best not to wake them. Adam was dead to the world, not even reacting to the slight motion of the bed. Allison shifted a little in her sleep, but did not wake up, as Kris edged around the bed to go to Katy's side.

 

He gently kissed her cheek, brushing her hair back from her face before anxiously meeting her eyes.

 

“How are you feeling, babe?”

 

She bit her lower lip, flinching slightly at the question before looking away and shaking her head. “Not... not good.”

 

Kris's heart clenched in his chest at the words, though they were no worse than he had expected to hear. “You just... haven't been resting well, that's all,” he insisted, unable to keep a tremor from his voice. “You just need to get some more sleep...”

 

“I've been resting all night,” she reminded him gently with a sad smile, her eyes troubled and heavy with sorrow, but filled with a resignation that set a cold ache in Kris's heart. “And... I feel worse than I did before. Rest – isn't going to help, Kris.”

 

She shook her head slowly, her smile fading as she glanced down for a moment, then met his eyes again – and the look he saw there filled his heart with dread.

 

“Kris... I don't think I'll be going any farther than this.”


	12. Chapter 12

Adam and Allison sat at the kitchen table, glancing uneasily between each other and the closed door to the bedroom where they’d spent most of the night. Each of them had a mug of tea in front of them – because Leila had always kept it around for her son, even though she didn’t drink it, and apparently tea wasn’t something that was particularly prized by the looters – but the tea had long since gone cold.

 

Katy and Kris had shut themselves away in the bedroom nearly an hour earlier, and their raised voices could be heard through the door, interspersed with violent coughing fits that cut off Katy’s softer words. Allison flinched at the painful sound of one particularly awful one, and Adam reached out across the table to place his hand over her clenched fist.

 

Allison bit her lip as she looked up sharply to hold his gaze, her own filled with a fearful, innocent plea. He knew that she wanted to hear reassuring promises, wanted him to tell her that Katy was going to be all right, that they _all_ were, and that eventually they would find a place where everything was as it had always been.

 

But Adam had never seen much value in lies, no matter how pleasant they might sound – and he had no intention of falling back on them now.

 

So, they sat there in silence, waiting, as the muffled yelling from beyond the door abruptly gave way to hoarse, uncontrolled sobs. A moment later, Katy’s soft, composed voice followed, soothing and gentle, and Adam felt hot tears spring to his eyes at the image that filled his mind of what was probably happening beyond that door.

 

_It figures. She’s the one that’s… that’s_ sick, _and she’s still the one who’s doing the comforting._

_What are we going to do when… God, what are we going to _do_?_

Adam looked up, startled when the door opened at last, and Kris slipped out – alone, closing it softly behind him. He didn’t speak to them, didn’t even look at them for a long time, his red-rimmed eyes locked onto the floor, shadowed with a haunted, desperate expression that tore at Adam’s heart. His face was tear-streaked, his hair damp and messy, and Kris’s fists clenched automatically, defensively, at his sides as Adam cautiously rose from his seat and made his way toward him.

 

Kris looked up sharply, a warning in his gaze, and Adam was reminded of nothing more than a trapped, helpless animal, willing to fight to its own death to avoid the inevitable. His voice was low and trembling as he shook his head, taking a cautious backward step.

 

“We’re not… we’re not going to… we can’t…”

 

“Kris…” Adam gently stopped him, reaching out careful hands to grasp Kris’s arms and still his retreat, waiting until Kris was meeting his gaze with his own guarded, wary eyes to continue in a low, measured tone, making sure Kris heard every word. “We are not going to do anything that you don’t want to do. Whatever you need, Kris – that’s what we’re going to do, all right? Whatever you… _both_ of you… need.”

 

Kris was quiet for a moment, studying Adam’s expression, before nodding once in acceptance, his shoulders sagging with relief. He shook his head again, his jaw set stubbornly, his words trembling and forceful at the same time.

 

“She… she wants us to… to leave her. But… good luck trying to make me. She can say that all she wants; she can’t do anything to stop me from staying, and… I’m staying.”

 

“_We’re_ staying,” Allison corrected softly, rising from her seat at the table and coming to join them, placing her own smaller hand over Adam’s on Kris’s arm. When Kris blinked at her in vague surprise, she offered him a sad, faltering half-smile. “What, you think _we_ could leave her, either? It’s… it’s _Katy_. We love her, too, you know.”

 

Kris swallowed hard, his eyes dark and troubled, as he nodded slowly, his voice thick and barely over a whisper. “O-okay. We’re staying, then. Until… until she’s…” He hesitated a moment, that stubborn set coming back to his expression as he concluded, “… until she’s well enough to travel.”

 

“Okay, then,” Adam agreed immediately, running his hands lightly, soothingly, up and down his friend’s arms, forcing a smile for Kris’s benefit. “It’s a plan.”

 

********************************************

 

Kris stayed close to Katy’s side for the rest of the afternoon, hardly leaving the bedroom where she lay, as she slept fitfully, slipping in and out of both consciousness and lucidity. He only left to use the bathroom, and to refill a glass with cool water that he kept trying to make her drink, in a desperate attempt to keep the dehydration at bay.

 

There were moments when she cried in fear, and Kris looked in her eyes and saw only the fever-induced madness, and knew that there was no real threat driving her emotions. There were other moments when she cried – broken and sobbing and breathless with panic – and Kris knew just as clearly that the thing that so terrified her was _desperately_ real, and close enough to claim her in its grasp.

 

_No, not yet… please, not yet… _ __

 

He held her through her tears, rocking her and doing his best to soothe her – his pretty lies all the comfort he had left to offer her. He told her how she was going to get better, and the four of them were going to find a place where the illness hadn’t been so bad, where life was still as they’d known it, and move on and start a new life together.

 

Katy didn’t argue with any of it, though on some level Kris knew that she knew it was not to be. She kept silent, he was sure, for _his _benefit – because she knew the words were more of a comfort to him than they were to her.

 

As the hours wore on, the simple task of drawing in air seemed to require more and more effort from Katy, and Kris helped her to sit up. It helped for a little while, but before long even the change in position didn’t make breathing any easier for her. Kris shut his eyes and held her close, singing softly to her and trying to ignore the faint purple marks that were beginning to form just under her skin, mottling her fair hands, face, stomach.

 

_Last sign… means it’s really too late… no, no it doesn’t… it can’t, not this time… no, no, not Katy,_ please, _not her…_

 

He tried not to think about it, tried to push back the dread that choked him, rising up and overwhelming him with a sick, cold fear of a future so desolate he couldn’t bear to imagine it – a future without her. He found himself focusing on breathing in and out, steady and slow – trying to somehow breathe _for_ her – but it wasn’t working. Each breath she drew grew more and more labored, rattling and painful, and her skin felt hot enough under his touch to burn him.

 

At last, she turned in his arms, looking up at him through sad blue eyes, bright with pain and fever. “I… I’m really sleepy, honey,” she whispered hoarsely. “I need… I need to go to sleep…”

 

Kris’s stomach lurched, and he felt panicked tremors begin to come over him, holding her tighter without really meaning to as he shook his head, pleading. “Not yet,” he whispered. “Katy, please just… just stay awake with me…”

 

“I… I can’t,” she replied, raising a weak, shaking hand, marred with livid purple, to brush away the tears he hadn’t realized stained his cheeks. “I need to… to rest.” She paused, swallowing painfully, before clarifying, barely audible, “_You_ need to _let_ me…”

 

Kris stared down at her, forcing back the horror that was pushing at the back of his thoughts, threatening to overwhelm all reason – because he had to be strong, just a little while longer – had to be strong for her. He forced himself to nod, choking back a sob as he leaned down to kiss her softly on the lips, his heart twisting painfully at the weak, barely there response of her mouth against his, and the cool dampness of their mingled tears on his face.

 

“I love you,” he whispered, drawing back only enough to speak, his lips trembling against her flushed, damp skin. “I… I’ll always love you, Katy… more than anything else… in my entire life, I _love you_…”

 

“I love you, too, Kris,” she whispered, a soft smile ghosting across her lips, her eyes already beginning to glass over as her body gradually went heavy and limp in his arms. “I love you… Good night, sweetheart…”

 

Kris drew back, staring down at her through stricken eyes, willing himself not to see what he was seeing as her life ebbed away. “Good night,” he barely whispered, the sound of the words not making it past his lips. “Good night…”

 

Because he _couldn’t_ say goodbye – not to Katy.

 

_I’ll _never _say goodbye…_

 

***********************************

 

When the door finally opened again, Adam and Allison were snuggled together on the sofa in the living room, dozing in shifts, taking what silent comfort they could from the closeness and normalcy of each other’s embrace. Allison had been drifting into sleep, but the sound of the door awakened her, and she looked up at Adam in apprehension that he was sure mirrored the expression on his own face.

 

He rose from the couch and made his way into the hallway, stopping a few yards away from where Kris stood, just outside the bedroom, a half-empty glass of water clutched in one shaking hand, carelessly tilted so that its contents sloshed out onto the floor a little.

 

Kris shook his head in clear denial, abruptly moving forward, then stopping, raising a despairing hand to his face – as if he’d suddenly just remembered that there was nowhere he cared to go anymore. He thoughtlessly raised both hands toward his eyes, only remembering the water glass when it impeded his progress. He let out a low, strangled cry as he lowered his hands and hurled the glass against the wall.

 

“No!” he sobbed out. “No, no, _why_? Why her? Not her! Not my… my Katy… oh, God, _Katy_…”

 

His legs were shaking dangerously, and Adam knew they wouldn’t hold him for long. He cautiously ventured forward, holding out his hands in a placating gesture, though Kris barely seemed to register Adam’s presence until he had reached him. When Adam’s hand touched his arm, he jerked away violently, striking out with his free hand in a shaky, poorly aimed blow.

 

Adam caught his wrist, and Kris struggled to free himself, sobbing in earnest now, as Adam wrapped his free arm snugly around Kris’s back, pinning his other arm against his chest, holding the smaller man close to him and whispering soft shushing sounds in his ear.

 

Kris fought him for all he was worth – which didn’t seem to be much, at the moment. Every last ounce of his strength had gone into caring for Katy, seeing her through to the end, _willing_ her to _live_ – and that was why there was nothing left for this fight that he didn’t really have the heart for, anyway.

 

When Kris’s legs gave out beneath him, Adam’s arms around him softened his fall, supporting him as Adam went down with him onto his knees on the floor. Kris’s body shook with sobs too big for his slight frame, as he lowered his head against Adam’s chest and cried brokenly. Adam just held him close, running one hand through his hair and doing his best to offer comfort for an ache that he could never really soothe away.

 

_What can I say?_ he wondered desperately, blinking back the hot tears of hopeless, frustrated pain that filled his eyes. _How can I possibly even _begin_ to make this right? He needs me to say something – to help him deal with this, but how can I… when it’s never going to be right again?_

 

“It’s all right,” he whispered. “You’re gonna be all right, Kris… it’s gonna be okay…”

 

He wasn’t at all sure that it was true. In fact, he was fairly certain that it was a lie – but in that moment, with nothing else to give to his devastated friend – Adam couldn’t bring himself to care.


	13. Chapter 13

Adam’s legs had long since fallen asleep, folded under the combined weight of his own body and Kris’s, doubled over across his lap. His arms ached, his muscles taut and sore with combined effort and exhaustion. His eyes burned with the tears he’d shed, and there was a deep, dull ache in his chest every time he thought of what lay beyond the closed bedroom door a few feet away from him.

 

But none of it mattered – not when Kris was falling apart in his arms.

 

Adam held onto him, feeling every shuddering, wrenching sob as it was torn from Kris’s lungs, hoarse and gasping and desperate. He was doing his best to hold his friend together, to keep him grounded, keep him from utterly losing his mind in the wake of the most tremendous loss he could have possibly faced.

 

Familiar words of comfort – useless phrases, clichés that everyone used in moments like these – filled Adam’s mind, but he knew that any words he could offer would be meaningless. He couldn’t stop Kris’s pain, couldn’t change the reality of the brutal new world in which they lived.

 

He couldn’t bring Katy back.

 

Kris’s sobs finally subsided, only when his body was literally too exhausted to cry anymore. He went quiet in Adam’s arms, but he was still trembling violently, white-knuckled hands gripping onto Adam’s arms so tightly that Adam was sure he’d have bruises later – but right now, he couldn’t bring himself to care.

 

Finally, Kris went still, closing his eyes, and only the tension in his body let Adam know that he was still awake at all.

 

“What… what should we do?”

 

Adam looked up, a little startled by Allison’s voice close beside him. She was kneeling on the floor, close enough to touch, but not quite daring to actually do so. Adam took in her wide, terrified eyes, the way her lower lip was trembling, the way her arms were crossed miserably over her torso in a pitifully protective gesture – and he cursed his own carelessness.

 

He’d all but forgotten she was there.

 

“I mean…” Her voice was hoarse, barely over a whisper, and Adam could see the trails left by tears that had long since dried on her face as she frowned, trying to somehow make sense of their senselessly painful situation. “… before, we would have… we should… we can’t… can’t _call _anyone…”

 

Abruptly, Kris sat up a little, and Adam drew back cautiously, searching his face. Kris was staring down at the floor, his expression blank and unnaturally calm. He didn’t move for a long moment, as Adam and Allison both simply waited to see what he would do or say, what he might need from them. When Kris broke the silence, his voice was raspy and barely over a whisper, flat with quiet defeat.

 

“There’s no one to call.”

 

He rose to his feet without another word and headed down the hall, toward the back door. Adam exchanged a worried look with Allison, accepting her help to climb to his feet, then stepping in place a few times, trying to get the circulation back into his legs. When he felt like he could walk without collapsing, he hurried after Kris, Allison following close behind him.

 

They found Kris on his way out of Leila’s garden shed – a shovel in his hand.

 

He didn’t speak to them, didn’t look at them, as he plunged the sharp tip of the tool into the soft sod of Leila’s flower garden, overturning the flowers she’d placed there, the dark, rich soil quickly giving way to the earth that had been there far longer, and was far more resistant to his efforts.

 

Adam’s eyes welled with tears, blurring his vision, as he realized what Kris was doing. He took a cautious, halting step forward, stopping just out of Kris’s reach.

 

“Don’t,” he pleaded, his voice trembling with tears. “Kris… let me do that. You… you shouldn’t have to…”

 

Kris completely ignored him and kept digging.

 

“Kris?”

 

When Allison’s tentative words also met with no response, she started forward, reaching out to Kris, but Adam caught her arm and pulled her gently back, shaking his head when she looked up at him in confusion. He turned her back toward the house, one arm around her as he led her inside.

 

“He just needs… just… give him a few minutes, okay?” he suggested, but his voice sounded uncertain even to his own ears. “He’ll be all right. He just… has to process this.”

 

The truth was, Adam wasn’t really sure that Kris would be all right at all. He had literally lost his entire world in the space of a few short days, and as stable as Kris had always seemed in the past, Adam wasn’t sure that _anyone_ could survive what Kris had been through in recent days and retain _all_ of his sanity.

 

No one he knew had ever had to face this before.

 

Adam sat on the sofa with Allison, holding her close, neither of them speaking – because there was really nothing to say. Neither of them ventured so much as a glance in the direction of the closed bedroom where Katy still lay, neither of them wanting to see the terrible reality of it.

 

When they heard the back door swing open and shut again, Adam rose to his feet, anxiously heading toward the hall, Allison close in his wake. Kris met him there, his clothes dirty and soaked with sweat, his brow smeared with grime from where he’d wiped at it with dirty hands. He looked between Adam and Allison, his eyes dull and empty, his voice unsettlingly soft and distant, with just the barest hint of a tremor.

 

“If you want to… to say goodbye. Or… or pay your respects… then, you should do it now.”

 

Kris turned and headed toward the stairs, his head bowed, his steps weary and heavy.

 

Adam’s instincts told him to leave Kris alone, but he couldn’t help taking a single, aborted step after him, his voice halting and uncertain as he broke the silence.

 

“What… what are _you_ going to do?”

 

Kris stopped for a moment, not turning to face them, as he replied flatly, “I’m going to take a shower.”

 

_Why does he need to take a shower_ now?

 

Adam frowned, troubled and confused by Kris’s behavior. He knew that people reacted differently to grief, but Kris’s cold detachment was frightening. Adam knew that he had to face his loss if he was going to get past it; and so far, it seemed as if, after his initial breakdown in Adam’s arms, Kris was trying as hard as possible to distance himself from his emotions and keep from feeling them.

 

_But if he_ doesn’t _feel them, if he lets that make him shut us out, then… that will be so much worse…_

 

Adam’s thoughts were distracted by the quiet sound of the bedroom door behind him opening, and he turned, startled to see Allison disappearing inside. He followed after her, swallowing back his own dread as he stepped through the doorway and walked up behind her, placing a supportive hand on her shoulder.

 

Only then did he force himself to look up and take in the sight of Katy’s still, lifeless form on the bed.

 

She looked peaceful, her pretty features relaxed and a soft smile on her lips. If not for the livid purple marks that marred her skin, Adam might have believed that she’d died painlessly in her sleep. Beside him, Allison stepped slowly forward, out from under his hand, and knelt at the side of the bed. She reached out a cautious, trembling hand to take Katy’s and hold it gently, almost reverently.

 

All at once, understanding filled Adam’s mind, his heart clenching in his chest with the sudden, agonizing realization.

 

Of course _he needed to take a shower. This is the last time he’ll ever spend with her before he buries her in the ground and leaves her here, probably forever. The last time he’ll see her… touch her… the last memory he’ll have of her…_

_And he… he doesn’t want to get her dirty… _

_He can’t give her a proper funeral, like she deserves… but this one little thing… this little piece of respect and reverence… he _can_ give her…_

“Excuse me.”

 

Just as Allison rose to her feet, Adam heard Kris’s voice from the doorway behind him, and turned to face him. Kris’s eyes were dry, his hair still damp from the shower, wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants that were far too large for him – clothes of Adam’s that he’d left here at some point when visiting his mom.

 

“If you guys are done,” Kris continued softly, glancing down at the floor for a moment before meeting Adam’s eyes again. “Could I have a few minutes alone with my wife?”

 

Adam and Allison silently slipped past him and out of the room, closing the door behind them. Adam wanted badly to reach out to Kris, to touch him and offer some form of comfort – but he got the distinct impression that at this moment, such a gesture would not be welcome. Everything about Kris’s speech, his demeanor, was screaming out at them to stay away, not to get too close, to let him deal with this on his own.

 

Adam just hoped he was dealing with it in a way that would allow him to come back to them some time soon.

 

Kris stayed in the room with Katy for a long time.

 

Adam spent most of that time pacing silently outside the door. He could hear Kris talking every now and then, barely over a whisper, far too low to make out the words. Adam didn’t know if he was talking to Katy, or praying – or maybe both, as he tried to make peace with Katy’s loss.

 

Nearly an hour after he’d gone inside, Kris opened the door again. Then, he walked back to the bed and crouched down, carefully sliding his hands under Katy’s limp, pliant form and lifting her, very gently, into his arms. Her head lolled onto his shoulder, and Kris lowered his cheek to rest on the top of her head, cradling her body close, rocking slightly back and forth there for a moment as he caught his balance. He closed his eyes and pressed a soft kiss to her temple before turning fully toward the door again.

 

Adam was relieved to see that Kris’s face was streaked with fresh tears as he carried Katy out of the bedroom and toward the back door. Adam hurried to get ahead of him and hold the door open, Allison hesitantly coming up behind them – but Kris stopped just inside the doorway.

 

His voice was quiet and hoarse as he broke the heavy silence that had fallen over them all.

 

“Please… please stay. I… I need to do this alone.”

 

Adam exchanged a brief, worried glance with Allison – then relented, his shoulders falling as he nodded his reluctant acceptance. “Whatever you need, Kris,” he said softly. “Just… whatever you want… that’s what we’ll do.”

 

“Thank you,” Kris whispered, turning sideways in the doorway and moving past Adam into the backyard.

 

It went against his every protective instinct, but Adam made himself simply close the door and go back into the living room with Allison, leaving Kris to his grim, heartbreaking task. He wanted so badly to help him, to support him through this, to not leave him to go through this on his own – but he knew better than to think that he could tell Kris what was best for him – not when it came to something this deeply personal.

 

So he simply waited, giving Kris the privacy and space he’d requested. He passed the time sitting at the table with Allison, drinking tea and talking quietly – speculating about what places were most likely to still be at least a little populated, where they would be able to find food once the supplies they had here ran out – anything and everything they could think of besides what was happening outside.

 

Allison’s fear and uncertainty was clear in her wide, shell-shocked eyes, and the way they kept darting toward the hall. Adam tried his best to keep her distracted, and reassure her as best he could – but it was difficult, when he was feeling in need of a little comfort himself at the moment.

 

It was difficult to focus on their conversation when every few minutes, a vivid memory would come to his mind: when Katy had first come to visit Kris in the Idol mansion, and Adam had been sure that he would hate her on sight, but then she’d proven to be so sweet and adorable and have all the same qualities that he adored about Kris, and then some.

 

Or the late night phone call he’d made the night Drake had broken up with him – temporarily – and how he’d wanted to talk to Kris, but when he found out he wasn’t home, ended up pouring out the whole tearful story to a very compassionate, soothing Katy, who’d stayed on the phone with him until he’d eventually drifted off to sleep.

 

Or the way Katy had sat on the floor of the dressing room, holding Matt’s head in her lap and gently stroking her fingers through his hair, touching his final moments with gentleness and compassion that was strong enough to counteract the unintentional cruelty of the _friends_ that had surrounded them.

 

No one_ deserves to die like this, but… but_ Katy…

 

Adam blinked back tears, struggling to keep up a smiling, encouraging front for Allison’s benefit.

 

_She deserved so much better than this…_

 

But when an hour passed – and then another – with no sign of Kris’s returning, Adam couldn’t make himself wait any longer. He returned to the back door and cautiously stepped outside, quiet so as not to disturb whatever personal ritual of goodbye Kris might be performing.

 

There on the ground, atop the mound of freshly turned earth that now marked Katy’s grave, Kris lay on the ground, still and silent.

 

“Kris?” Kris didn't move. Adam's stomach lurched, cold panic sweeping through him as he swiftly approached. “Kris? Are you all right?”

 

Kris did not respond, and Adam felt a swelling sense of dread tightening in his chest as he moved around Kris so that he could see his face, crouching down beside him. Kris’s eyes were closed, and he didn’t seem to be aware that Adam was even there. Adam reached down and shook his shoulder none too gently.

 

“_Kris_! Kris, wake up! Look at me!”

 

When Kris finally raised his head, Adam felt a momentary relief – that immediately vanished when he saw the vacant, confused look in Kris’s eyes, as if he didn’t even recognize Adam, didn’t know where he was or even _who_ he was. It was such an empty, terrifying expression that Adam could barely stand to look at him.

 

“Come on, Kris,” he insisted gently, his voice hushed and cautious. “It’s time to come inside…”

 

“No,” Kris said simply, laying his head back down on the soft dirt beneath him.

 

“_Kris_.” Adam spoke more firmly. “Come on. You need to come in.”

 

“No.”

 

There was no anger, no challenge in Kris’s voice – only a simple, flat certainty that he had no intention of being moved. Adam opened his mouth to protest – but then thought better of it. At last, he rose to his feet again and retreated back into the house, well aware that he was not going to change Kris’s mind.

 

Adam couldn’t sleep all during that night, thinking of Kris lying out there in the cold dark, unwilling to leave Katy to face it alone. He tossed and turned, holding Allison close and trying to at least make _her _feel safe and secure enough to sleep – but neither of them could rest with Kris still outside, alone and grieving with no one to comfort him.

 

“Are you sure we shouldn’t try to get him to come inside?” she asked, looking up at him anxiously before turning her gaze toward the hall, and the door beyond it. “It’s got to be getting cold outside…”

 

“I know,” Adam murmured, trying to sound soothing and sure, though the same question had been going through his own mind for a while. “But… he’ll come in when he’s ready, Alli. We can’t… we can’t force him. He needs to… to deal with this as _he’s_ ready to, you know?”

 

Allison nodded slowly, reluctantly, staring down the hall for a long moment before turning her face back in against Adam’s chest and closing her eyes, trying – and failing – to sleep.

 

Finally, several hours after he’d last checked on Kris, Adam rose from the bed and made his way outside again.

 

Kris lay where Adam had left him, sound asleep, and shivering with the cold. Adam went to him and gently shook his shoulder, trying to rouse him.

 

“Kris… _Kris_…” he whispered – and received no response.

 

Tears welled in Adam’s eyes, his throat aching with sobs he held back, as he gently wrapped his arms around his friend and lifted him off the ground. Kris shifted a little – his defenses down in sleep – nestling in closer to the warmth of Adam’s body, and Adam’s heart broke a little more.

 

Silently, careful not to disturb him, Adam carried Kris into the warmth of the house, laying him down in the bed he and Allison were sharing, pulling off Kris’s shoes before pulling the blankets over him before lying down on his other side, so that Kris was lying between Adam and Allison.

 

Adam knew that Kris might be angry when he woke up to find that Adam had brought him inside against his wishes, but at least Adam knew that Kris would wake up surrounded by the love and support of the two people left in this world who loved him the most.


	14. Chapter 14

Much to Adam’s relief, when Kris woke up the following morning, he didn’t seem to be particularly angry at finding himself inside, against his wishes. That relief was short-lived, however, when Adam realized that Kris’s calm acceptance of his location extended to an unnaturally calm reaction to – well, _everything_.

 

Adam had been afraid that he might try to immediately go back out to Katy’s grave; but he didn’t. For hours, he just stayed in the bed where Adam had laid him, barely acknowledging Adam or Allison when they spoke to him – not that either of them had much to say.

 

Neither of them had any idea _what_ to say – but that didn’t keep them from trying.

 

Adam watched warily as Kris finally rose, picking up the shoes Adam had taken off of his feet the night before and carrying them out into the hall.

 

“Kris?” he asked, his voice cautious and gentle. “Where are you going?”

 

Kris did not reply as he made his way down the hallway to the empty bedroom that none of them had been using. Adam tried to follow him inside, but Kris firmly closed the door before he could – very deliberately shutting him out. He just stood there staring at the closed door for a long moment, before the soft touch of a hand on his arm startled him enough to make him jump.

 

Allison was standing at his side, biting her lip as she anxiously studied his face. “Give him some space, right?” she cautiously reminded him of his own words the night before. “Give him time to deal with this in his own way?”

 

Adam looked down at her, forcing a warm smile, nodding in reluctant acceptance. “Right. You’re right. We just need to… to leave him alone for a little while.”

 

But that little while dragged on, first to hours… and then to days. Kris barely spoke to them, barely left the bedroom that he’d silently claimed as his own. He slept there, alone, leaving the larger room to Allison and Adam – though they’d much rather he had shared it with them. He ate very little of the food that Adam and Allison took turns preparing, and with each silent hour, each missed meal that passed, their worries grew deeper and more troubling.

 

“Kris? I made some soup.” Allison’s tone was small and trembling, but hopeful, as she spoke to Kris’s back from the bedroom doorway, yet again. “It’s cream of chicken. It’s really good…”

 

“Thanks,” Kris mumbled without turning to face her, his voice barely audible, muffled behind the blanket drawn up over him. “’m not hungry.”

 

Adam found Allison fighting back tears in the kitchen as she dished hot soup into two bowls. He caught her arms, stilling her and turning her to face him, alarmed at the way she was trembling in his grasp.

 

“Hey,” he said, his voice soft and coaxing. “Hey, Alli… what… what is it, baby girl?”

 

She just stared up at him through wide, tearful eyes, shaking her head slightly, her lips parted but not quite forming words. She glanced toward the mostly closed bedroom door with a helpless wave of her hand before covering her face with that hand, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs. Adam put his arms around her and pulled her close, trying to soothe the tremors that shook her, even as tears welled in his own eyes.

 

Neither of them were used to seeing Kris so detached, so disconnected. Adam could handle it, but Allison…

 

_She must feel like she’s losing every bit of stability she’s ever had, one piece at a time… but she’s not…_ we’re _not…_

_Please… please, we just lost Katy. We can’t lose Kris, too…_

 

“Alli… Alli, baby, it’s gonna be all right,” Adam whispered, hugging her tight, trying his best to be convincing with words that he didn’t quite feel. “He’s gonna be all right…”

 

Allison drew back, shaking her head, her face streaked with tears. “What’s _wrong_ with him?” she asked, desperate confusion in her voice. “Is he just… is he just _giving up_?”

 

“No,” Adam answered automatically, though his heart clenched painfully at the words, which were nothing more than an echo of his own fears. “No, sweetie, that’s not it. Don’t worry, okay? He’ll be all right.”

 

But three days passed, and Kris seemed to be far from all right – and a new problem began to consume Adam’s thoughts. He could sympathize with what Kris was going through, could understand his reluctance to go on at all without the person he’d shared literallyalmost his _entire life_ with – but sooner or later, sympathy aside, all of them would have to go on.

 

Allison didn’t mention it often, but he knew that she was anxious to get home to her own family, to know whether or not they were all right. Regardless of what they found there, Adam thought it would be wise to move on, anyway, in search of more sparsely populated areas, where the virus might not have been as devastating, and they might find other survivors.

 

They had enough supplies left in his mother’s pantry to last about a week, if they were careful; and they hadn’t seen any sign of any other people around since they’d camped here, so Adam was fairly certain that they were safe for the time being. He knew that Kris would be reluctant to leave the place where Katy was buried, not knowing for sure whether or not he’d ever be able to come back; but they couldn’t just stay here indefinitely. Adam tried to think of a way to get through to Kris, to give him a good enough reason to move on.

 

The following morning, he found one.

 

Adam and Allison awakened to a strange, almost overwhelming sense of quiet. Adam couldn’t quite grasp it at first, though the beginnings of understanding edged around the corners of his mind. He didn’t realize what had happened, however, until Allison called him into the kitchen. She was standing in front of the refrigerator, holding the door open.

 

“What is it?” he asked, frowning when he saw that it was dark. “Did the light burn out?”

 

Allison’s eyes were filled with dread as she looked up at him, and the truth struck him even before she spoke the words.

 

“Adam, I… I think _all_ the lights just burned out.”

 

*******************************

 

“Kris.”

 

Adam’s voice was stern, and he could tell by the tense set of his shoulders that Kris was not sleeping, but he did not respond.

 

“_Kris_. I need you to sit up and talk to me,” Adam insisted. His voice softened as he added, “Come on, Kris. It’s been… it’s been_ four days_…”

 

Kris’s voice was calm, even, but laced with a sharp edge that made Adam wince at his softly bitter words. “Four whole days, huh? Guess that’s _more_ than enough time.”

 

“Kris… you _know_ that’s not what I meant.” Adam swallowed hard, bowing his head as he hesitantly approached the bed, sitting down slowly on the edge of the mattress. “Kris… the electricity just went off. That means… no more hot water. No more electric stove. Whatever food is left in the fridge isn’t going to be good for more than a day or so. It means… it means we need to… to go on…”

 

“No.” Kris’s eyes were closed, refusing to face Adam as he stubbornly insisted, “Not yet.”

 

“We can’t wait much longer, Kris, and… and still be _safe_.” Adam tried to be as gentle as possible, willing Kris to understand. “Allison… she misses her family. She wants to see if they’re okay or not…”

 

“And if they’re not?” Kris opened his eyes for a moment to take in Adam’s stunned silence, before closing his eyes and turning his head away again. “Could be she’s better off still being able to _hope_.”

 

“Really?” Adam snapped, unable to keep the scathing note from his voice at those words. “Am _I_ better off, Kris? I have no clue where my mom even _is_, whether she’s alive or dead, what happened to her – not to mention my dad and my brother, who are so far away that it’s going to be next to impossible for me to even _find out_ – but I can still hope that _maybe_ they’re out there somewhere and _somehow_ managed to survive, so yeah – I’m better off that way.”

 

He was honestly irritated with Kris’s flippant dismissal of anyone’s pain but his own, frustrated and afraid because he couldn’t possibly know what had happened to his own loved ones – but there was still a certain method to Adam’s emotional outburst. He was hoping to get through to Kris, hoping to get him to think about something besides his own loss. He expected at least a half-hearted apology.

 

He got nothing but absolute silence.

 

“Kris,” he tried again with a weary sigh. “Come on. Allison needs to _know_. So do I.” He paused, his voice softer as he added, “So do _you_. You have… loved ones that might still be all right, you know? Don’t you want to find them?”

 

Kris was quiet for a long moment, and when he spoke again, the hoarse, trembling sound of his voice betrayed the emotions he was trying so hard to conceal, as he stated once again, his words measured and unyielding, “_Not. Yet_.”

 

Adam’s heart ached for his friend, but he couldn’t just let him waste away in his grief.

 

“Kris… _please_…”

 

“If you wanna go so bad,” Kris cut him off, closing his eyes again, “then why don’t you just go?”

 

Adam blinked at him, stunned. “_What_?”

 

“Do whatever you want to do,” Kris continued as if Adam hadn’t spoken, and Adam could tell that he was rolling his eyes, even though they were closed. “I don’t really care _what_ you do. I’m not going anywhere.”

 

“Kris… you know there’s no way we would ever do that.”

 

Hurt and utterly blindsided by Kris’s cold words, Adam struggled to keep his anger out of his voice, reminding himself of the pain that Kris was dealing with, and trying to tell himself that his friend didn’t really mean it. But, the friend he knew would have picked up on the hurt in his voice, would have apologized and hugged him and reassured him that he would be all right in time.

 

The friend he knew wouldn’t have said those hurtful words at all.

 

“You should.” Kris’s voice was flat, listless, as if he lacked the energy even to argue anymore. “If it’s so important to you, then… you should. I… I can’t leave her. I… don’t _want_ to leave her.” He was silent for a moment, then added in a whisper, “Not yet.”

 

Adam didn’t respond for a long moment, before letting out a frustrated sigh and rising from the bed. He tried to take comfort in the fact that Kris had used the word “yet”, and apparently hadn’t deluded himself to the point that he thought he could stay here _forever_.

 

_Maybe Alli’s right,_ he told himself. _Maybe all he needs is a little more time._

_But… we don’t necessarily _have _any more time._

 

Adam was so lost in his own thoughts as he made his way, defeated, toward the door, that he almost didn’t hear it – and then, it echoed in his mind with a deafening, terrifying finality, his stomach lurching and a sick chill sliding down his spine as his mind caught up to his hearing, and registered the simple, familiar sound, and all its horrifying new implications.

 

Nothing more than a quiet, muffled cough.

 

Adam froze in his tracks, his mouth dry, suddenly trembling, willing himself to turn back around. When he finally did, Kris had sat up in the bed and was facing him, eyes wide open and searching. His cold, distant manner had vanished, and he was looking up at Adam with a rueful, anxious expression, biting his lower lip and waiting for Adam’s reaction to what he’d heard.

 

“Kris…” Adam shook his head slowly, anguish in his voice. “Kris… _no_…”

 

“I’m sorry,” Kris whispered.

 

His words were a quiet confession – a simple, chilling confirmation of Adam’s fears. The hoarse sound of his voice now held new, horrible meaning for Adam, as he realized the burden that his friend had been privately carrying, alone, for… hours, or even days...

 

It brought tears to his eyes, but he blinked them back, unwilling to burden Kris with his own pain, on top of what he was already dealing with. He could hardly see his way back to his friend’s side, but somehow he found it, automatically throwing his arms around Kris and holding him tight. He was unable to control his own shaking, even as he forced himself to whisper desperate words of reassurance against Kris’s shoulder.

 

“It’s going to be okay… you’re going to be fine…”

 

Why wasn’t _Kris_ more upset? How could he possibly be so _calm_ about this?

 

“I… I knew this might happen.” Kris’s quiet, regretful words seemed to answer the questions in Adam’s mind, as Kris’s gentle hand came to rest, comforting and reassuring, on Adam’s back. “She was my _wife_. I _loved_ her. I couldn’t just… do to her what the others did to Matt. I couldn’t leave her to die… _alone_, and… and rejected. I had to take care of her, and… and be with her…”

 

He was quiet for a moment, and his body went very still before he went on, hushed and heavy with resignation.

 

“But… I’m not stupid.”

 

The meaning of his words struck Adam like a punch in the stomach, and suddenly he couldn’t breathe. He felt guilty for thinking for even a moment that Kris was selfish or unconcerned with their situation, as he realized the agonizingly beautiful truth of what Kris had done.

 

_He didn’t think he’d be all right, that he might magically not get sick from being close to her and taking care of her. He_ knew _he probably would – and he was willing to take that chance, for her – because he _loved_ her._

 

_Just like he was trying to talk me into taking Alli and leaving him here – because he loves_ us.

 

“You’ll be okay,” Adam insisted, sitting up, his breath hitching in his throat as he struggled to bring it under control. “Maybe… maybe it won’t get any worse, and… and then you’ll get better, and…”

 

“Everyone we’ve seen get it has gotten worse,” Kris pointed out softly, far too calm for what he was discussing. “It’s going to happen, Adam. It _is_.” He was quiet for a moment, allowing the words to sink in before going on. “And… if it’s going to happen,” he whispered, drawing back gently to meet Adam’s eyes, his face streaked with tears, “then… it might as well happen here, right?” He offered a sad, shaky little smile. “I might as well be here… with _her_… when it happens."


	15. Chapter 15

Immediately after realizing that Kris was sick, Adam had gathered up what was left of the medications in the house – most of which had been given to Katy – and determined that he was going to take care of Kris as well as he possibly could. Kris had looked at him with warmth and gratitude in his eyes, mingled with sad resignation – and gently ordered him to go away.

 

“You can’t get sick, too, Adam,” he reminded him softly. “Let’s be realistic here. Katy… she was everything to me, and… and she’s the one I had to think about… to take care of. You… you don’t have that same obligation to me…”

 

“Kris, that’s ridiculous!” Adam snapped, his voice trembling as he unloaded the supplies he’d gathered on the bedside table, arranging them with a bit more force than was necessary. “You’re my friend, and I’m not gonna just sit by and…”

 

“Katy couldn’t sit by and let Matt go through this alone. And I couldn’t let her go through it alone, either. But… Adam, can’t you see what’s going to happen if you do the same thing we both did?” There was a quiet urgency in Kris’s voice, and Adam felt helpless, defeated tears rising to his eyes as Kris went on, stating painful truth he already knew, despite his best attempts at denial. “What happens when you get sick next? What happens to _Allison_? ‘Cause you _know_ she’s not going to leave you. Even if she did – which she _wouldn’t_ – what happens to her, out there all on her own?”

 

Adam shook his head, unable to speak for his tears, but unable to bear the mental image Kris was creating with his words.

 

“You can’t let that happen to her, Adam,” Kris stated softly. “You have to be safe… take care of _yourself_… for _her_.”

 

“Okay,” Adam had choked out when he finally could find the strength to speak. “Okay… I will, but… but you have to get better, Kris. You can’t just… give up. You have to get better, for _me_, because… I don’t think I can do this if… if you…”

 

“You can,” Kris insisted, reaching out to touch Adam’s wrist, and Adam didn’t miss the way he made sure to touch the fabric of Adam’s shirt, and not his skin directly. There was a vaguely teasing smirk on Kris’s lips as he added with deliberate exaggeration, “You can do _anything_, Adam Lambert.”

 

But Adam was pretty sure he was wrong.

 

Adam was pretty sure that he couldn’t do this.

 

******************************************

 

“Maybe he’ll be all right. Maybe he’ll get better.”

 

“Maybe he will.”

 

Adam forced an encouraging smile, nodding and reaching out across the table to take Allison’s hand, doing his best to ignore the facts that Kris’s cough had gotten worse over the past twenty-four hours, and that they didn’t know of anyone who had actually gotten sick with the virus and recovered – and that this was the fifth time in the past hour that Allison had spoken those words.

 

They were both trying to hope for the best, but it was difficult to stay positive when they had seen absolutely no basis for such optimism thus far. The news reports that had claimed a 25% survival rate seemed to have been greatly exaggerated. In fact, the more Adam saw of this new, frightening world they’d been thrust into, the more he was convinced that everything they’d been told in the hours before it had all gone to hell was an outright lie.

 

He was trying to keep a brave front up, trying to keep Allison calm and not scare her too much – but inwardly, he was falling apart.

 

“We can stay here until he gets better, right?” Allison asked, her voice sounding small and tremulous and heartrendingly young as she turned fearful eyes toward him. “I mean… it’s not like there’s any rush…”

 

“No, not really,” Adam agreed with a sigh. “If the power’s out here, then… it’s probably out _everywhere_. I… I’m not sure how all that works, but… I assume there’s people whose job it is to keep the power up and running, and then backup generators for emergencies when those people _can’t_ take care of it, and then… eventually… those generators must run down, too. So… that’s it, then.” He forced a smile, trying to lighten the impact of his assessment. “Looks like for now, we’re back to the pioneer days.”

 

Allison glanced around the modern kitchen, so much of it suddenly useless, and let out a nervous little laugh. “So… should we go searching for firewood and shit?”

 

Adam didn’t have to force a little smile at that, following her gaze. “I don’t think Mom would very much appreciate us making a campfire in the middle of her house.”

 

At that, Allison cracked up again, and Adam found himself imagining his mother’s reaction, if she walked in to find them building a fire in the middle of her pristine living room. He couldn’t help laughing at the mental image of Leila Lambert walking through her front door, her eyes widening with horror at the sight, waving away the smoke in the same overdramatic fashion he’d inherited from her, and that made him think of the time when he’d accidentally set the kitchen stove on fire when he was twelve years old, and the look on his mother’s face when they’d finally gotten the fire out, too amused at his shocked, guilty expression to truly be angry with him… which only made him laugh harder, even though that particular memory, of the affectionate exasperation in her warm, loving eyes when she’d looked at him, wasn’t even all that funny, and he didn’t care that the laughter felt a little breathless and out of control because it still felt _good_, it felt so _good_ to be laughing, after everything that had happened, and everything that they’d lost, and… why couldn’t he _stop_…?

 

“Adam… Adam, shhh, _querido_… it’s all right… it’s all right…”

 

Suddenly, Allison’s voice was hushed and soothing and very, very close. Her soft arms were warm around him, one hand gently cradling his head against her stomach, fingers slowly soothing through his hair. Adam felt something cool and wet on her fingertips as they brushed gently across his cheek – and then realized that her fingers were only wet _because_ she’d just touched him.

 

He was crying.

 

_When did I start crying? Can’t do this, this is stupid, it’s not helping anything. Have to get it together, you’re probably scaring her to death… have to stay strong and positive and help her deal with this…_

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, breathless, trying to straighten up and pull away from her. “I’m sorry…”

 

“Shhh,” she murmured, her arms around him surprisingly strong, refusing to let go and let him reject the comfort she was offering. “Don’t be. It’s all right. It’s all right…” As she spoke, she freed one arm to grab the chair she’d abandoned and pull it over close to Adam’s, then sat down so that she could look him in the eye, her own eyes glistening with tears over a soft, sympathetic smile. “Damn, boy, I’m surprised you’ve lasted _this_ long.” He blinked at her, lost and bewildered, and she shook her head, giving him a sad smile. “Adam… you don’t know where your mom is, and… and Katy… and now Kris… it’s a freakin’ _lot_, you know? And… you’ve gotta let it out _sometime_…”

 

Adam let out a shaky sigh, looking away. “I can’t,” he whispered. “Alli, I’ve got to look out for us. I’ve got to figure out how to… to take care of Kris, and… and keep us safe, and… figure out what we’re going to do next…”

 

“And who says _you_ get to decide all that?”

 

Adam blinked, his mind too numb and hazy with his tears and the tumult of terrified thoughts coursing through it to even process her words at first. When he did, he shook his head slowly in confusion.

 

“Alli… I…”

 

“Adam… just _stop_,” Allison gently advised. “_Stop_. You don’t have to take care of us all the time. You don’t have to make all the decisions and fix everything and do all the worrying.” She shook her head, letting out a sad, vaguely bitter little laugh before meeting his eyes again. “You think you’re helping me by trying to protect me from the scary stuff right now? You’re not. Because I think for a good long while – it’s _all_ gonna be scary stuff. And you can’t handle it alone.”

 

“I just… you shouldn’t have to _deal_ with…”

 

“No. I shouldn’t,” Allison agreed, her voice solemn and hoarse with unshed tears. “And… Kris shouldn’t have to be wondering whether or not he’s going to live or die, days after he lost his wife. And you shouldn’t have to be worrying about what might have happened to your mom. None of us should be having to deal with _any_ of this.”

 

The simple truth of her words drove him to silence, and Adam just sat there, waiting for her to go on.

 

“Nothing is the way it’s supposed to be anymore. And… it’s not looking like it’s going to be, ever again,” Allison pointed out softly. “So… you’re not doing me any favors by trying to keep me from seeing that. By… trying to help me pretend that this is… some temporary thing that we’re all gonna come through, same as ever. It’s not. It’s… it’s our _life_ now, and… I think we’re gonna need _each other’s_ help to… to live it.”

 

Adam just stared at her for a long moment, taking in the stubborn, unyielding set of her jaw – the love and concern in her stern, tear-filled eyes – the gentle but firm grip of her tiny hand on his arm – and found himself wondering what had happened to the naïve, sometimes irritatingly but always adorably bubbly just-barely-not-a-child he had gotten to know so well on Idol.

 

_When did she start_ growing up _on me? She’s not just a girl anymore; somewhere along the way, she started turning into a woman, and I… I didn’t notice…_

 

He couldn’t say any of that, though, not without turning the moment from sweet to embarrassing and awkward, so Adam smiled and asked instead, “When did you get so smart?”

 

“I always have been, _hermano_,” she retorted with a cocky little smirk, her hand on his arm relaxing to give him a playful little shove. “Where have _you_ been?”

 

It was a little easier to return her smile this time, even if it still faded rather quickly. Adam found himself studying her face, his throat constricted, his chest tight and heavy with emotions too deep and complicated to name. Before he even knew he’d thought them, the words fell from his lips, hushed and almost reverent.

 

“You look so much like your mother right now.”

 

Allison’s brave smile fell away, and her gaze dropped to the table, her lower lip quivering. Adam instantly felt a rush of guilt for his poorly timed words, reaching out to envelope her in a warm, reassuring embrace.

 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered immediately, shaking his head against her shoulder. “That was stupid… I’m so sorry, baby girl…”

 

“I just wish… I mean…” Allison struggled over her words, her voice trembling and halting. “I… I wish… I wish we _knew_…”

 

“I know,” Adam whispered. “Me too. I just wish we… just wish we _knew… something_…” He swallowed hard against the ache in his throat, closing his eyes against the fresh tears that came as he confessed, “I miss my mom so much.”

 

“Me, too.”

 

Allison nodded, her face buried against Adam’s chest, and he instinctively tightened his protective hold on her, gently running one hand up and down her back, as her arms slid around him to return the embrace. They just sat there for a long time, each of them giving voice to their fears, and offering reassurance to each other, until they no longer knew which of them was doing the comforting – and for the first time since this whole nightmare had started, Adam didn’t mind.

 

It didn’t really matter anymore.

 

******************************************

 

“Adam… _Adam_!”

 

Allison’s urgent whisper close to his ear roused Adam from a deep and troubled sleep, and he lifted his head from the pillow, blinking sleepily at her as he struggled to figure out why Allison was in his bedroom, and why she was waking him up in he middle of the night, large dark eyes inches from his face.

 

Then, everything came rushing back to his memory, and his heart clenched at the unmistakable fear in her eyes.

 

“What is it? What’s wrong?” he whispered back, only whispering because _she_ was whispering. It wasn’t as if there was anyone to hear them… unless…

 

_Oh…_

 

“I heard something.” Allison confirmed his fears, casting apprehensive eyes toward the open bedroom door. “I think someone’s in the kitchen.”

 

Adam sat up, staring into the darkness beyond the door as he quietly pushed back the blankets and slid his legs around the side of the bed. “Maybe it’s just Kris,” he suggested, without raising his voice. “It’s probably nothing to worry about…”

 

“What if it is?” Allison bit her lower lip, eyes wide and frightened.

 

Adam had no suitable answer for her question.

 

He rose from the bed, wishing he’d thought to board up the doors and windows, wishing he’d thought to have some kind of a weapon ready in the bedroom – just in case. They hadn’t seen another human being since they’d left the arena, so he hadn’t really thought it would be necessary.

 

_And maybe it’s not,_ he reasoned. _Maybe it’s just Kris, looking for something to eat, or something…_

 

But Kris hadn’t really been hungry for the last couple of days.

 

_Maybe he’s starting to feel some improvement, and get his appetite back…_

 

But deep down, Adam knew better.

 

“Stay here,” he advised Allison, barely more than mouthing the words. “I’ll be right back. If you hear anything weird, lock the door and don’t open it for anyone, okay?”

 

Allison nodded, apparently more frightened by his words than she had been before. Adam gently squeezed her arm in a gesture that might have been more reassuring if his attempted smile hadn’t been such a total failure, before taking a deep breath and heading out into the darkened hallway.


	16. Chapter 16

As Adam slipped out into the hallway, he noticed a faint, shifting beam of light, reflected off the windows and other surfaces in the kitchen. His stomach did an uneasy little flip at the undeniable evidence that someone was _definitely_ in the house.

 

_It’s probably nothing to be scared of. It’s probably just someone who assumed the house was empty and thought this might be a safe place to stay. I mean… it’s not like I heard a gun go off, or heard him smashing stuff with a baseball bat. All I know_ for sure _that he’s got is… just a flashlight._

_Yeah.__ A flashlight._ That _would have been smart._

 

But Adam had no light, no weapons of any kind. His heart raced, his hands damp and trembling as he edged toward the kitchen doorway, feeling himself to be at an extreme disadvantage to whoever it was roaming around his mother’s kitchen. And it wasn’t Kris, of that he was sure, since the door to the room where Kris was sleeping was still shut, and Kris hadn’t had a flashlight, anyway.

 

_Flashlights, batteries… the new necessities in this strange new world we’re facing…_

 

_Or, will be facing. Tomorrow. If we make it to tomorrow, instead of being murdered by the burglar in the kitchen…_

 

Adam stopped in the kitchen doorway, suddenly grateful for the fact that he _didn’t_ have a light to alert the stranger to his presence. He could clearly see the shadowed silhouette of a male figure, crouched in front of the cabinet beneath the sink, shining a flashlight into it.

 

_Looking for supplies…_ our _supplies…_

Adam felt a swift rush of indignant anger, his hands clenching into fists at his sides – though he still waited in the doorway, not sure if he should advance any farther. It was possible that the man was armed, and he wasn’t sure he was quite ready to give up the element of surprise just yet.

 

Unfortunately, however, in the next moment a slightly loose board in the floor made the decision for him, as a creaking sound echoed in the quiet hush that filled the room, immediately alerting the stranger to the fact that he was not alone.

 

An instant later, Adam found himself blinded by the bright beam of the flashlight, and instinctively raised his hands to shield his face.

 

“Who’s there?” Adam was strangely gratified by the obvious fear in the man’s voice. “What do you want?”

 

“Easy,” Adam replied, keeping his voice low and as calm as he could manage, fighting to keep the tremor he felt from his words. He lowered his hands a little, but kept them extended in front of him in a gesture that he hoped was soothing and reassuring. “Easy, man… I could ask _you_ that, you know? This is my mother’s house, and… I’m staying here, so… you’re kinda the one who’s breaking and entering, right?”

 

Silence met his words, followed by the slow lowering of the flashlight so that it was no longer shining into his face, and finally a hesitant, uncertain response.

 

“I… I didn’t realize anyone was staying here. I wasn’t trying to… to break in…”

 

“I get that.” Adam nodded slowly, staring uselessly into the darkness that surrounded the blinding point of light aimed at him, wishing that he could see the other man’s face. “You had no way of knowing. It’s cool. But… I’d feel a lot better if I could see you right now. There’s some candles on the table.” He nodded toward them, then took a cautious step in that direction. “I’m just going to light them, so we _both_ can see. All right?”

 

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s fine…” the guy replied, still sounding wary and guarded.

 

Adam couldn’t really blame him; his nerves were still rather on edge at the moment, too.

 

He picked up the matchbook he’d left on the table and set about lighting the candles – which was quite a task, as he and Allison had gathered up all of the candles from throughout the house and left them in the middle of the kitchen table. Adam lit them all, leaving three in the center of the table, and then slowly setting them around the kitchen in various places, so as to illuminate the room with a warm glow that was far dimmer than electric light would have been, but still sufficient to finally see his uninvited guest.

 

The man was about Adam’s height, with hair that might have been blond, or light brown – it was difficult to tell in the limited lighting. He seemed to be about Adam’s age, as well, and he was staring at Adam with anxious, watchful eyes as Adam finally finished setting out the candles and slowly, deliberately sat down at the table, gesturing with one hand for the stranger to do the same.

 

“See? We’re cool,” he assured the guy, nodding toward the chair he’d just indicated. “Why don’t you just have a seat, and we can get to know each other? I’m Adam.”

 

He extended his hand toward the stranger, who hesitated just a moment before turning off the flashlight and setting it down on the counter, then closing the rest of the distance between them and shaking Adam’s hand.

 

“Nathan,” he replied. “Nathan Rayne.” He took a seat across from Adam, leaning forward and resting his elbow on the table, then running a trembling hand through his hair and shaking his head. “I’m sorry, dude. Seriously. I just… I haven’t seen another person in so long, and… I didn’t expect anybody to be here, or to… to miss whatever I found…”

 

“Believe me, I know,” Adam laughed softly, giving him a rueful little grimace of sympathy. “You’re the first person we’ve run into, too.”

 

Nathan looked up with a slight frown of confusion, his anxious eyes scanning the room for a moment before he echoed, “_We_?”

“Yeah.” Adam smiled. “My friend is kinda… hiding out in the bedroom. But she’s not scary, I promise. She’s a girl, and she’s eighteen, and… she was pretty much just waiting to see whether or not _you_ were scary.” He turned his head toward the hall, raising his voice to call out, “Alli? Come on out, baby girl, it’s all right.”

 

A few moments later, Allison appeared in the kitchen doorway, in a manner far more subdued and cautious than her usual approach. Adam held out a hand toward her, and she moved forward to take it, offering the stranger a wary smile.

 

“Hi.”

 

Nathan leaned forward a little, a warm smile on his lips. “Hey, there. Come on, it’s all right. I don’t bite.”

 

Adam frowned, feeling a sudden surge of protective unease, and he leaned back and wrapped his arm casually around the back of the chair beside his as Allison slid into it.

 

“So… what’s your story?” he asked, taking in Nathan’s body language and expression a little more closely as his eyes began to adjust to the dim light. “Do you live around here somewhere, or… or have family here, or…?” Adam’s words trailed off, as he realized what a painful question that was likely to be for just about _anyone _right now.

 

“I did,” Nathan replied, his tone suddenly heavy with sorrow. “My girlfriend and I lived not far from here, with… with our daughter, Myriah.” He paused, glancing down at the table. “The virus… at least it… it took her quickly. I guess that’s… a _small_ mercy. It was just a few hours after she started showing symptoms. And… my girlfriend got sick the next day.” He fell silent for a long moment, swallowing hard, and Adam braced himself for the ending to the story that he already knew was coming, regretting having asked in the first place.

 

“She… died three days ago,” Nathan concluded softly, the tremor in his voice tearing at Adam’s heart. “The military guys told us to stay put, since by the time they came around, the baby was already sick, and… they were trying to keep it from spreading as much as possible, I guess, but… after… after I lost my family, I went outside, and…” His voice trailed off, and he shook his head, apparently at a loss.

 

“And there was nothing left,” Allison finished for him, her voice quiet and small.

 

Nathan looked up to meet her eyes for a moment before nodding slowly. “Exactly.” He sighed. “I’ve been making my way out of the city ever since, slowly… checking in houses, keeping an eye out for any other survivors. But… I hadn’t found anyone at all, and… to be honest, by the time I got here, I was just looking for supplies. I didn’t really expect to find anyone.”

 

“Well, you’re the first other person we’ve seen, too,” Adam informed him. “And I have to say it’s a huge relief. I was starting to think…” He hesitated, glancing at Allison, but then remembered her earlier lecture on not trying so hard to protect her from the reality of their situation, and went on. “… I was starting to think that… maybe we were the only ones left.”

 

“Well, if we survived, and… and met up, then… there has to be other people out there somewhere, too, right?” Nathan pointed out. “This is a really good sign.”

 

Allison and Adam both nodded in quiet agreement.

 

“So… what’s your plan?” Nathan asked at last. “I mean… as weird as this would have sounded a couple of weeks ago, L.A. is pretty much a ghost town at this point. We can’t just stay here, right?”

 

Allison replied, “Well, we were sort of just waiting for…”

 

“We were trying to get a little rest and take stock of the situation,” Adam cut her off quietly, lightly kicking her ankle under the table when she gave him a confused, irritated look. “Just sort of regroup a little, before we headed out of town to check on the rest of our families, you know?”

 

“Right. Good idea.” Nathan nodded. “Mind if I tag along? I mean… I understand if you’re not comfortable traveling with a stranger, but… honestly, after spending the last couple of days believing I was _literally_ the last man on earth – I’d be happy just to have _anyone _to travel with.”

 

“That’s fine,” Adam agreed. “I think there’s safety in numbers, especially since we don’t really know exactly what all we’ll be facing yet.”

 

Nathan nodded. “Thanks.”

 

“No problem.” Adam smiled. A momentary awkward silence descended, but he broke it almost immediately, rising to his feet. “Well, I hate to cut this short, but we were sort of sleeping when you showed up, and… I’m guessing that with the electricity gone out, we should try to sleep when it’s dark, so we can make the best possible use of the daylight, right?”

 

“Right,” Nathan approved. “Smart thinking.”

 

“So… we’ll just grab you some blankets and pillows and things, and… for tonight, do you mind sleeping on the sofa? In the morning we can work out better sleeping arrangements, but… is that okay?”

 

Allison gave Adam a strange look, but he ignored her for the moment, focusing his attention on Nathan – who, thankfully, appeared oblivious to the unspoken communication – or lack thereof, at the moment – between them.

 

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Nathan shrugged. “I’ll just wait here.”

 

Allison followed Adam back into the bedroom where they’d been sleeping, closing the door quietly behind her while Adam took one of the two blankets from the bed, and one of the pillows as well. She hurried to his side, moving in close and speaking in hushed tones, despite the closed door that prevented them from being overheard.

 

“So, what was up with _that_?” she demanded. “Why’d you shut me up like that? And why not just let Nathan have one of the beds?”

 

“Because I don’t want to have to explain to him about Kris tonight,” Adam explained in a whisper to match hers. “We don’t know this guy at all, Alli, and I don’t know how he’d react to the idea of… of an infected person… staying in the same house with him.”

 

Allison frowned. “Well, it’s not like he’d _hurt_ him or anything…”

 

“Unless it _is_ like that,” Adam countered, raising a single brow pointedly as he met her eyes. “Like I said, we don’t know this guy. So… at the moment, he seems pretty happy to have the company, so I don’t think he’s gonna like… take off during the night with what little supplies we have. But… if he knew about Kris, well… then maybe that’s _exactly_ what he’d do. I’d rather just… wait until the morning, so that I can at least see the guy’s _face_ when I tell him, you know?”

 

Allison considered that for a moment, visibly troubled by the possibilities Adam was suggesting. “Yeah,” she conceded at last. “That makes sense.”

 

“So… here’s what we’re going to do,” Adam continued, relaxing a little with her agreement. “We’re gonna give him this stuff to make himself comfortable – and then you’re going to lock yourself into this bedroom for the night – just in case.”

 

Allison opened her mouth to protest, but Adam cut her off in a firm, warning tone.

 

“Alli… we _don’t know_ him. So just to be on the safe side, lock the door after I leave. I’ll sleep on the floor in Kris’s room for the night, and lock that door, too, so there’s no chance of his stumbling onto Kris in the middle of the night. And in the morning, we’ll introduce him, and we’ll get everything out in the open. All right?”

 

“All right,” Allison sighed. “It seems like a lot of pointless drama over nothing, but…”

 

“It probably _is_ nothing,” Adam agreed. “But I don’t want to take any chances. Not with your safety, you know?”

 

She nodded unhappily, and Adam enveloped her in a tight hug, kissing her cheek before adding softly, “You’re all I’ve got left, Alli. You and Kris. And… I’ll do whatever I have to do to keep you safe. All right?”

 

Allison nodded against his shoulder, returning his hug for a moment before drawing reluctantly away.

 

“Good night, baby girl,” Adam said as he turned the lock on the doorknob and headed out into the hall. “See you in the morning.”


	17. Chapter 17

Adam knew that his mother kept a few extra blankets in the closet of the room where Kris was sleeping, so he took some of them down and made himself a reasonably comfortable pallet on the floor at the foot of the bed. He didn’t want to make Kris feel isolated or rejected – but he wasn’t stupid, either. He had no intentions of taking the kind of risk that sharing the bed with Kris would entail.

 

Not that it mattered, anyway. Kris was too delirious with fever to even notice that he was in the room.

 

Adam got up twice during the first hour, just to double check Allison’s room and make sure she was locked in as he’d instructed. The first time, he wanted to make sure she hadn’t forgotten. Then, he began to worry what might have happened if she’d decided to get a drink of water, or go to the bathroom, and forgotten to re-lock the door behind her.

 

The third time, he decided that he was being ridiculous.

 

_She’s a smart girl. She’s locked herself in for the night, and she’s going to be just fine. This guy is probably not even a problem. He’s probably just an ordinary guy who happened to stumble onto us tonight – not the last surviving psycho in L.A. Come on, what are the chances of _that_? Just go to sleep, so that you’re rested and capable of dealing with whatever’s going to happen in the morning._

 

Adam dozed a little after that, but his sleep was fitful and restless, interrupted every now and then by Kris’s feverish moans and delirious ramblings in his sleep. Every cough, every quiet groan of pain, sent a fresh ache of fear stabbing through Adam’s heart. He pulled the blankets up around his ears and tried to shut it all out, tried not to think about what those sounds actually _meant_, tried to force his busy mind to surrender to his body’s call for sleep – and finally, it did.

 

He awakened to the bright light of mid-morning shining through the open curtains that half-covered the open bedroom window…

 

_Wait…_

 

Adam swiftly struggled to sit up, wrestling with the pile of tangled blankets that surrounded him in his attempt to fully take in the room around him. His heart raced with fearful adrenaline, his mouth dry as his mind filled with several rather vividly unpleasant explanations for what he was seeing.

 

_I _know _I didn’t leave that window open last night… so… who opened it? Are they still here? Was it Nathan? Did he get in somehow? Is Alli all right?_

“Adam…”

 

A hoarse, unrecognizable voice from close beside him made Adam jump, scrambling to his feet and turning toward the source of the sound. His heart was still pounding rapidly, his brow broken out in a cold sweat, his mind taking a few moments to catch up with his eyes as they took in the reassuring, if very surprising, sight of Kris, seated on the side of the bed, looking pale and exhausted, but smiling in gentle, vaguely concerned amusement at Adam’s panic.

 

“Adam… relax, man. It’s just me,” he offered.

 

Adam blinked, his thoughts feeling dull and slow as he looked back and forth between Kris and the open bedroom window, finally managing to stammer out, “But… the… the window, and… I thought…”

 

“I got hot.” Kris shrugged, something sad and self-conscious in his eyes as he looked away.

 

Adam’s stomach lurched at the reminder of the raging fever that had kept them both awake half the night.

 

“I’m feeling a little better now, though,” Kris hurried to reassure him.

 

But the weak attempt at hope in Kris’s words only tore at Adam’s heart more. He remembered that Katy had felt better too, for a little while – just before she had taken a turn for the worse. Hours after she’d made that claim, the virus had taken her life.

 

“Maybe this is the turning point,” Kris suggested with a little shrug. “Maybe I’m getting better.”

 

But he wouldn’t meet Adam’s eyes, and Adam knew that Kris remembered the exact course of Katy’s illness better than he did. Kris harbored no illusions as to his own fate; he was simply doing his best to help Adam keep from facing them – which had been easy enough over the past couple of days, with Kris locked away in this room by himself, and Allison to occupy Adam’s thoughts.

 

After the night before, however – Adam couldn’t hide from the truth anymore.

 

Still, for Kris’s sake, he forced shaky smile in return anyway. Finally, he steadied himself enough to slowly close the distance between them and sink down on the edge of the bed beside Kris, raising one hand to cover his eyes for a moment and letting out a trembling sigh.

 

“Dude, you scared the _shit_ out of me,” he confessed at last with a little laugh.

 

Kris frowned, seeming more troubled than amused by Adam’s reaction. “Why?” he asked, studying Adam’s face closely. “Who’d you _think_ would be in here? And… why are _you_ in here, anyway? Why were you sleeping on the floor, and…” He paused, looking pointedly toward the door with a speculatively raised eyebrow. “… why are we apparently locking Allison out?”

 

Adam quickly filled Kris in on the events of the night before, expressing his apprehensions about Nathan, and describing the protective measures he’d taken before going to sleep. Kris nodded slowly in agreement as he spoke, and Adam found himself immensely relieved just by Kris’s simple presence – that inherent familiarity they’d felt ever since they’d first met.

 

“It’s probably fine,” Kris assured him, and the soft certainty in his voice was immensely reassuring. “He’s probably just a random, ordinary guy with no intention of hurting anyone. I mean, it’s probably only something like five percent of the general population that’s dangerous or crazy or whatever – unless we’re talking about your fans. Then, the numbers are considerably higher.”

 

Kris’s sly, infectious grin sabotaged Adam’s efforts to suppress his laughter at Kris’s words, as he gave a little sideways half-nod in grudging acceptance of the truth. Kris continued, and Adam allowed himself to take comfort from his words.

 

“So, what are the chances that with 95% of the population… not here anymore… the first person we run into falls into that category?” Kris shook his head with a little grimace. “Not very high.”

 

Adam stared at Kris for a long moment, before an affectionate smile spread slowly across his face. “Good point.”

 

A warm sense of gratitude flowed through him as Kris’s voice echoed back his own thoughts from the night before, almost verbatim. Kris just _got_ him, and the way he thought and saw things, and Adam realized with a deep ache in his chest just how desperately he’d missed that since Kris had gotten sick.

 

He knew Allison had been right in insisting that he stop treating her like a child and let her into his confidence, but his protective instincts still led him to try to be strong for her, to try to keep her safe from the worst of his fears. He missed having Kris around all the time, to share the burden of all the worries that came with caring for their tiny group of refugees – which had probably just grown by one.

 

_Just as it’s about to_ shrink _by one…_

 

Adam tried to suppress the little shudder that went through him at that unwelcome thought, forcing back the nagging fears that had been ever-present in his mind since he’d first heard Kris cough – the fears that were, little by little, beginning to take over his thoughts.

 

_It won’t be long before he’s not here_ at all _anymore…_

 

“But… we should probably go out there anyway, right?” Kris suggested, his light, unconcerned tone making Adam’s heart ache, in such striking contrast to the painful weight of his own thoughts. “Just to be on the safe side? It’s like… ten-thirty. Alli’s probably awake, and if she is, then it’s only a matter of time before her curiosity gets the best of her and she leaves her room.”

 

As he spoke, Kris glanced down at his watch, and Adam cursed the fact that he never wore one, realizing what a benefit it would be now in this new world without electricity.

 

_Well… at least until the battery runs out…_

_Wait._

_He just said… _we_…_

 

“Yeah,” Adam agreed, drawing in a deep, shaky breath and staring down at the floor. “About that. Um… he kinda… doesn’t know you’re in here.” When Kris gave him a dubious look, a single brow raised in silent question, Adam clarified, “He kinda… doesn’t know you _exist_. I just… thought it’d be better not to tell him until we were a little more sure about him.”

 

Kris considered that for a moment, nodding slowly. “Good idea,” he decided at last, giving Adam a sly little sideways half-smile. “Keep me as your secret weapon. If he _does_ turn out to be bad news, you can just have me come out and _breathe_ on him, and…”

 

Kris’s words trailed off as Adam looked up at him sharply. The dismay he felt at Kris’s appalling attempt at a joke must have shown clearly on his face, because Kris’s expression softened with sympathy.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, looking down at his knees. “I guess… that wasn’t really funny, was it?”

 

Adam shook his head, barely mouthing the word, “No.”

 

They were both quiet for a moment, before Kris broke the silence, his voice cautious and measured. “Thing is,” he said softly, “I _am_ sick. And… it’s very contagious. Which is why I’d kill you for risking your life by spending the night in here, if that wouldn’t be… totally counterproductive.” Kris sighed. “Anyway, what I’m saying is… the guy’s got a right to know, right? I mean… it’s only fair that he knows if he’s putting himself at risk.”

 

Adam’s eyes widened as he took in Kris’s words, speaking truth that he hadn’t even considered in the midst of all his worries the night before. He lowered his face into his hands, shaking his head.

 

“Shit,” he muttered. “I didn’t even _think_…”

 

“You can’t think of everything, Adam…” Kris tried to assure him.

 

But Adam couldn’t believe his own severe lapse in moral judgment. He began to feel that tight, panicked, overwhelmed feeling creeping over him again, and he pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes, fighting back the burning feeling behind them.

 

“All I was thinking about…” he confessed in a small, confused voice, “all I was thinking about was… was…”

 

“Protecting me.”

 

Adam felt the firm, reassuring pressure of Kris’s hand against his leg, and looked up to see Kris looking at him with an intensity of gratitude and affection that seemed to break through the fear and self-accusation on which he’d been momentarily focused.

 

“Adam… your only mistake in handling this situation was just caring too much about the people you love.” Kris gave him a reassuring smile, shaking his head slightly. “Anybody that can say _that’s_ their biggest mistake… well, they’re not _too_ bad off, are they?”

 

Adam couldn’t help but smile a little at that interpretation of his actions – so generous and kind and uniquely _Kris_. He glanced down at the spot where they were connected, Kris’s hand warm and firm against his leg, even if his grip was a little weaker than it might have usually been, feeling the heat of the affectionate touch spread through him, overwhelming the cold fear that was always just under the surface these days.

 

Abruptly, Kris pulled his hand away, and Adam looked up at him in concern to see his eyes wide and alarmed as he shifted uneasily on the bed, moving away to put a little space between them. Adam’s stomach clenched painfully as he realized that Kris had just stopped touching him because he’d just remembered that he wasn’t _supposed_ to be touching – that Adam wasn’t supposed to be around him at all.

 

The abrupt reminder was like a slap in the face, leaving Adam feeling cold and bereft and agonizingly alone, even with Kris still sitting right there beside him.

 

Adam cleared his throat, rising to his feet in the awkward silence that followed. “Um... so I’ll go out there alone,” he explained at last, not quite able to meet Kris’s eyes. “And I’ll tell him. And… we’ll see where it goes from there, but… don’t come out of here until we know, okay? If he decides to go all crazy on us and like… I don’t know, attack you or something… just don’t come out until I come tell you it’s safe, okay?”

 

Kris nodded silently, for once not protesting Adam’s tendency toward over-protection, and Adam got up and headed for the door.

 

The sound of muted conversation from the kitchen filled his ears as soon as he opened it, and his apprehension was quickly replaced by a sense of relief, mingled with irritation, as the sound of Allison’s unmistakable laugh echoed down the hallway. Adam shook his head at Kris, rolling his eyes.

 

“Girl doesn’t listen to me worth shit, you know that?”

 

Kris’s voice was hoarse, but his eyes were dancing with amusement as he replied with a shrug. “And this _surprises_ you?”

 

Adam forced a little laugh for Kris’s benefit, though he no longer felt like laughing, before slipping out into the hall and closing the door behind him.


	18. Chapter 18

As Adam headed down the hallway, the laughter he’d heard before died away, and when he heard Allison’s voice again, it was quiet and troubled.

 

“Wow… that’s… that’s heavy.”

 

Of course, it was Allison, so the dark mood couldn’t last for more than a matter of seconds. Adam smiled with relief when he heard her laugh again, just as he reached the kitchen doorway.

 

“I thought you were _funny_, man,” she complained teasingly, reaching out to good-naturedly push at Nathan’s arm on the table. “Gee, thanks. Now I’m all depressed and shit…”

 

Nathan smiled, but his expression remained solemn as he replied, “I’m sorry. But that’s the way it is now, you know? Everything is different…” His voice trailed off as he noticed Adam standing in the doorway, and looked up with a somewhat brighter smile. “Good morning.”

 

Adam returned his smile, if a bit tentatively, as he moved into the room and took a seat next to Allison at the table.

 

“Hey,” she said, cheerful and happy to see him, as if he had no reason in the world to be irritated with her. “I didn’t see you there. Nathan’s distracting me with scary, depressing stories…”

 

Adam let out a soft little huff, raising one eyebrow as her smile fell a little. “Funny how you don’t listen nearly so closely when _I_ talk,” he remarked with a pointed look.

 

Allison just stuck her tongue out at him before rolling her eyes and explaining to Nathan,  “He wanted me to wait in my room ‘til he said it was safe to come out. I guess he just wanted to make sure you weren’t some kind of axe murderer or something.” She shrugged. “But I figured, what the hell? It’s morning. How many axe murders take place in _broad daylight_, anyway?”

 

Adam opened his mouth to protest, but Nathan was already speaking, his tone serious and slightly warning.

 

“But that’s just what I’ve been saying, Allison. Adam was _right_ to be careful. Everything’s changed, and none of the old rules apply.”

 

Allison frowned, puzzled, glancing at Adam for clarification, but he just nodded in grim agreement with Nathan’s words. She looked back toward Nathan, shaking her head slightly.

 

“How do you mean? Murder’s still murder…”

 

“I mean… what _kept_ anyone from committing an axe murder in broad daylight… _before_ all this?”

 

The answer immediately came to Adam’s mind, and he nodded slowly. He was fully aware of where Nathan was going with this, but Allison was the first to actually voice it.

 

“Witnesses. Someone might see.”

 

“Right.” Nathan nodded slowly, his lips forming a tight, grim smile. “Too many people around. Too easy to get caught that way, or for someone to stop him. Now, though… all the rules have changed. Nothing to stop someone from committing an axe murder, if that’s what they’re inclined to do – or anything else, for that matter. There aren’t any cops, no stable form of government anymore – and that means there aren’t any laws, either. There’s not even any _society_ anymore – not yet, anyway.”

 

“That’s what we were talking about before you came in,” Allison informed Adam a bit distractedly, her eyes wide and thoughtful, as if she was trying to process concepts that were just a little too big to comprehend.

 

Adam knew the feeling.

 

“So, you’re saying that we – not just us, but… the people who are left – are basically going to have to get together and rebuild everything from scratch. Right?” she concluded.

 

“Right.” Nathan nodded. “Right now, the entire world’s in a state of shock. The death throes aren’t even finished yet. But… once the disease finishes running its course, and only the survivors are left, then… people will start recovering from that shock. They’ll start thinking about… what’s _next_. They’ll start gravitating toward each other. Coming out of wherever they’re hiding and looking for other people. Like you did. Like _I_ did.”

 

“And that’s when they’ll start coming up with rules, methods of doing things – forming a new society,” Adam interjected.

 

“Right,” Nathan agreed. “At first, the groups will probably be pretty small, but we still have the benefits of _some_ modern technology. The cars still work. There’s still plenty of gas, if you know how to get it. People will find each other. And, they’ll start their own new families – start… repopulating.”

 

“Yeah, but there’s no way things will work like they did before,” Adam pointed out thoughtfully. “Eventually, the preserved food supply – all the canned stuff, things that don’t go bad – that stuff will eventually run out, and… and then… I guess people will go back to farming, like they used to, for food…”

 

Allison’s dark eyes lit up, a tentative smile forming on her lips. “That… doesn’t sound so bad. I’ve always thought it’d be cool to raise horses, you know?”

 

Adam returned her smile with an encouraging nod. “It won’t be so bad,” he assured her softly. “In time…”

 

“In time,” Nathan agreed. “Eventually, even though… we might not see it in our lifetimes… things might even get close to what we would consider normal again.”

 

Adam considered that, taking a few moments just to take in the idea and mull it over in his mind.

 

It all made sense, but prior to this conversation, he hadn’t really considered the idea of what would happen to human society in the wake of the virus. He hadn’t really had the time or energy to think of anything beyond just keeping them all safe, and doing everything he could to make sure that they all just _survived_.

 

“To be honest, that’s part of why I hoped you’d let me stay, last night,” Nathan went on, a slightly sheepish smile on his face as he met Adam’s eyes. “I mean, yeah, I was kinda going crazy out there on my own…” He glanced at Allison with a teasing wink as he amended, “Not axe murderer crazy, of course,” before looking back to Adam. “But… besides that, I know that the only way people are going to survive in all this is to stick together, you know?”

 

Adam nodded slowly, thoughtfully.

 

“You’re the first other person we’ve met,” Allison informed Nathan eagerly. “I was beginning to wonder if we were the only ones left. And you’re right, that totally makes sense, we should definitely stick together…”

 

A strange, hopeful thought occurred to Adam, and he looked up at Nathan again, not realizing as he cut Allison off.

 

“Did you get sick?”

 

Nathan blinked at him, startled by the question, shaking his head slightly. “No. Obviously, or I wouldn’t be here. Right?” He frowned.

 

Adam let out a disappointed sigh, staring down at the table. “It’s just… I was just wondering if… if there were any known cases of anyone getting the virus, and then recovering from it.”

 

“Not that I’ve heard of.” Nathan shook his head. “I mean, I suppose it’s _possible_, but… I haven’t known of anyone that happened to. Everyone I’ve seen get the virus has died from it, as far as I know.” His frown deepened as he took in the loaded glance Adam and Allison exchanged, and he persisted, “Why? Is one of you… are you both okay?”

 

“_We’re_ both fine,” Adam replied, meeting Allison’s eyes and drawing in a deep, shaky breath as he steeled himself to do what he knew he had to. It wasn’t right, wasn’t fair to Nathan, to expect him to stay on here without at least warning him about the potential danger. “It’s just… there’s something we _do_ need to tell you.”

 

Adam met Nathan’s eyes as he went on in a calm, measured tone.

 

“We’re not the only ones here.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

Nathan’s tone was suddenly guarded, his eyes wide with alarm as he scanned the room, slowly sliding back his chair, as if in preparation in case he had to rise suddenly. Adam held up a hand in a placating gesture.

 

“It’s okay… it’s just… we have another friend, Kris. He’s… he’s been resting in the master bedroom since you got here, and…” Adam hesitated a moment before forcing the words out, holding Nathan’s gaze levelly. “… he’s sick.”

 

Nathan immediately pushed back his chair and rose to his feet, backing away from the two of them with fearful eyes. “We… we can’t just _stay _here, then!” he insisted, sounding on the verge of panic. “We need to go, so we don’t get infected!”

 

On one level, Adam could understand Nathan’s fear, and his desire to be as far from the danger as possible. On a deeper, less rational level, however, he felt an immediate defensive anger at how swiftly and easily Nathan just dismissed Kris as if he didn’t matter. He rose to his own feet as well, glaring across the table at Nathan and snapping back a response before he had time to think about it.

 

“Well, _you_ can do whatever the hell you want, but we’re not leaving our friend just because he’s sick. You can’t just _do _that to people…”

 

“There’s nothing you can do for him!” Nathan insisted. “No one gets better from this – we were just talking about it! The only thing you can do is just get out of here before you catch it – if you don’t have it already. _God_. Why didn’t you _tell_ me?”

 

Adam winced at the quiet, anguished accusation in the words, closing his eyes for a moment before admitting in a softened, regretful tone, “We should have. I’m sorry. We just – we weren’t sure if it was safe, and… we made a mistake.” He glanced at Allison, remembering how willing she’d been to be open the night before, and amended, “_I_ made a mistake.”

 

Nathan raised both of his hands in front of him as if to ward them off, pacing back and forth a few moments in agitation before objecting, “No. _No._ I cannot _believe_ you did this to me. I spent the fucking _night_ here. _Shit_. How can you just… how can you just stay here pretending like nothing’s wrong when there’s a… a _walking death trap_ in the very next room? It’s like you’re just… just sitting here waiting to die!”

 

Allison let out a choked little whimper at that, one hand flying to her mouth, and Adam glanced at her, dismayed to see the tears that streaked her face.

 

They only fueled his anger.

 

“Stop it,” he snapped, taking a step toward Nathan, placing himself between him and Allison. “When it was _your_ family, you didn’t leave them. You knew you could get sick, knew you could die, but you didn’t leave them. You stayed with them until the very last moment, their very last breath. So if you have to leave, leave. I wouldn’t blame you. But Kris _is _our family. Maybe the only family we’ve got left.” Adam’s voice trembled with rage, but softened a little at the thought of his suffering, vulnerable friend in the next room. “Don’t you _dare_ say we’re wrong to stay.”

 

Adam knew there was very little that he could do for Kris at this point. A dull ache built in his throat, choking off his words, as he thought of how calmly, how bravely Kris was facing his fate, even now, and he knew that although there was nothing he could do to fight the disease that ravaged his body, there was one thing he could still do for his friend.

 

He could make sure that he didn’t die alone.

 

If that was _all _he could do, he could do that – and he _would,_ and no one would stop him.

 

Nathan just stared at him, shaking his head slowly in horror as he processed the implications of what had just been revealed to him. Adam’s words seemed to have calmed him somewhat, but his hands still shook visibly as he raised them to rake through his hair, before turning purposefully toward the door.

 

“No,” he declared. “No, I can’t do this. I can’t take any more chances. I have to… I’m sorry. I have to get out of here.”

 

Adam and Allison watched in silence as he walked out the door, closing it hard behind him. They stood there, listening, as the sound of a car door opening and closing followed, and then the sound of the engine starting up. Allison silently moved to close the distance between herself and Adam, leaning against him, and he put his arms around her, comforting her as her shoulders shook with quiet sobs.

 

“I’m sorry, Alli,” he whispered. “I shouldn’t have… I should have told him last night, you were right. I just… I’m sorry…”

 

“It’s not your fault,” Allison whimpered, her voice muffled against Adam’s shirt, her arms trembling slightly as she clung to him. “I d-don’t know why I’m… acting like this. I’m not usually such a… a big baby, it’s just… the things he said, and… and _Kris_…”

 

The word sent a sharp ache through Adam’s chest, and he instinctively held her tighter, shushing her gently. “It’s okay,” he whispered. “I get it, Alli. I do. It’s all right…”

 

They sat down together at the table, still holding each other, their chairs pulled close together. A few minutes later, Kris emerged from the bedroom, and they explained to him that their overnight guest had gone on – without elaborating on his reasons for doing so.

 

Adam could tell by the sad, knowing look in Kris’s eyes, however, and the soft, subdued tone of his voice, that Kris knew he was the one who’d unintentionally driven their guest away.

 

He wasn’t exactly thick – and neither were the walls in Adam’s mother’s house.

 

An hour later, Kris was asleep again, and Adam and Allison were still seated at the kitchen table. This time, however, Adam had a pen and a piece of paper in front of him, and was making a list of things they would need to gather the first chance they got.

 

If nothing else, Nathan’s brief visit had turned his thoughts toward the future, and the world that would meet them when at last they left the shelter of this place.

 

“Matches. As many as we can carry,” Allison suggested. “With no electricity, they’ll come in really handy.”

 

Adam nodded, adding it to the list. “Candles, too. But before we have to resort to that, we should grab any batteries we can find, any size.”

 

“Right…” Allison frowned thoughtfully, considering. “What about…?”

 

Adam looked up at her, puzzled when she stopped abruptly. She was looking toward the kitchen doorway, her eyes wide and wary. Adam followed her gaze, surprised to see Nathan standing there. Uncertain of his motives, Adam rose cautiously to his feet, bracing himself for the worst.

 

Nathan’s head was bowed, his arms crossed over his chest, his shoulders slumped in defeat. Mingled resignation and regret were clear on his face when he looked up to meet Adam’s eyes again.

 

“I can’t do it,” he whispered. “I just… I don’t want to stay here and take the chance of getting sick, but… I got in that car, and I could have gone anywhere, but… but I can’t face being alone again, and… and not knowing…” A bitter, self-deprecating smile crossed his lips and he rolled his eyes as he concluded, “For all my talk about rebuilding society and thinking about the future and playing it smart – I can’t bring myself to get in that car and drive away from the only people I’ve met since all this happened. Even with the risk, I can’t… If I live, but I’m all alone, then… what’s the point?”

 

Adam was quiet for a moment, unable to meet the other man’s eyes. Finally he found his voice, though it was hoarse and subdued.

 

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I should have told you last night. But… you spent several nights with your girlfriend and daughter while they were infected, and… you’re fine. And… we’ve spent days with Kris and… and his wife, and she _died_ of the virus, and… and we’re fine. Maybe… maybe we’re all just immune. Maybe we’ll be fine.”

 

“Maybe,” Nathan echoed, nodding, but it was a half-hearted, distracted response.

 

“We can’t leave him. No matter what, do what you have to do – but we can’t.”

 

Nathan nodded again, this time more focused, looking up to meet Adam’s eyes.

 

“I know.”

 

He reached up to take something off his shoulder, and Adam noticed for the first time the backpack he carried, its strap crossed over his chest. Nathan moved forward, setting the pack down on the table and opening it up.

 

Adam was still a little apprehensive, but curiosity won out, and he leaned forward, peering into the bag as Nathan rooted around in it for a moment before finding what he was looking for and holding it out across the table for Adam and Allison to take.

 

Adam blinked in surprise when he realized that Nathan was offering them a couple of protective face masks, the kind used by doctors and nurses working with contagious patients.

 

“I know you have to do this,” Nathan repeated softly. “And I guess that means that I do, too. But if we’re going to do this, we’re going to do it right.”


	19. Chapter 19

“So, I guess I was worried for nothing. He seems to be okay.”

 

Adam sat on the floor, leaning against the edge of Kris’s bed, one knee drawn up in front of him with his arms wrapped around it as he voiced his conclusions about the last twenty-four hours. Kris was sitting on the edge of the bed, his somewhat wistful gaze focused on the closed bedroom door in front of him.

 

At least he was sitting up, Adam thought with a guarded, cautious hope. He’d spent the night waking every few minutes, his body racked with deep, painful-sounding coughs so deep that they took his breath, and left his voice little more than a hoarse whisper. He was pale and feverish, alternating between shivering and kicking the blankets off.

 

In all honesty, Adam was grateful to see him awake and responsive at all.

 

Adam knew that Kris was becoming lonely and stir crazy staying in this room all the time; but Kris refused to leave the room for fear of increasing the chances of infecting the other occupants of the house. A minor fight occurred every time Adam walked into the room, but Adam wasn’t above using Kris’s physical weakness against him in this circumstance. He didn’t know how much time Kris might have left, but he wasn’t about to let him spend it in self-imposed isolation.

 

On one thing they both agreed, however, and that was that Allison was not to enter the room under any circumstances.

 

She was considerably displeased, and she’d used some rather unladylike language in informing Adam of her displeasure – but Nathan’s presence seemed to provide enough of a distraction to keep her from pressing the issue.

 

“What’d he say when you told him about me?”

 

Adam bit his lower lip, a regretful little grimace on his face as he looked away. “Well, he… he freaked out a little,” he admitted. “At first.”

 

“That’s understandable.”

 

Adam nodded, relieved by Kris’s calm, easy acceptance.

 

_How is it that no matter how bad the situation is, he always makes me feel better about it, just by being there? _

_Just by being_ Kris…

 

“He left for a little while. I guess he needed to think it over. But then he came back, and… and he brought those medical supplies and all, and… I guess he’s all right.”

 

Kris was quiet for a moment before asking, “Do I get to meet him?”

 

Adam hesitated, looking for the right words, before finally sighing and admitting simply, “No. He… he said he’d rather keep his distance. Just to be on the safe side. I know it’s a dick move, him staying here in _our _place and all, but…”

 

“I can’t blame him, Adam.” Kris reached over and placed a gentle, supportive hand on Adam’s shoulder before adding in a voice of quiet reproof, “And neither should you. If it wasn’t me, or God forbid Alli… you’d want to keep your distance, too.”

 

“Want to and _would_ are two different things…”

 

“Is he cute?”

 

Kris’s casual question brought an immediate halt to Adam’s argument, and he stared up at Kris’s innocent expression for a moment, before bursting into laughter as the corner of Kris’s mouth twitched with his effort not to smile.

 

“He’s straight, and not my type,” Adam answered at last, reaching out to push lightly at Kris’s knee.

 

“You know, it’s not always about you, _diva_,” Kris teased, prompting a rather unconvincing glare from Adam. “I wasn’t actually thinking of you,” Kris went on, his smile fading a little, “so much as _Alli_.”

 

“Alli?” Adam frowned. “Um… no. I mean, he’s not an old man or anything but she’s _way_ too young for this guy, and there is no way that I’m going to…”

 

“She’s been stuck with the two of us for a while now,” Kris interrupted, meeting Adam’s eyes with a solemn intensity that silenced his protests. “You’re gay. I’m mar-” Kris stopped abruptly, looking away and swallowing hard before looking up at Adam again and forcing himself to continue, his voice choked and strained for a moment. “I’m… _unavailable_.” He paused, allowing his words to sink in, watching Adam’s face for his dawning reaction. “She’s young, but she’s all grown up now, Adam. Before too long, any moderately attractive guy is gonna start looking pretty good to her. Just make sure you’re looking out for her, okay?”

 

Adam glared at him, indignant. “Who do you think you’re talking to?” he demanded, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

“I know, I know,” Kris conceded with a smile. “I just wanted to make sure.”

 

Adam frowned, an uneasy feeling creeping over him as he considered Kris’s point more carefully. “She _does _seem pretty fascinated with him. He’s… smart, and he’s been pretty open for the most part, and he’s…”

 

“New?” Kris suggested with a little smirk.

 

Adam nodded grimly, unamused. “That, too.”

 

“It’s probably nothing to worry about,” Kris offered reassurance that Adam found useless at the moment, in the face of his newly forming worries. “If he’s as good a guy as he seems, then her crush won’t matter. He won’t push it with a girl who’s barely more than a kid.”

 

Adam tried to accept Kris’s words, which made sense according to the rules of decency for the society they’d lived in before the past few days – but Nathan’s words echoed in his mind, an ominous warning that left him feeling uncertain and ill at ease.

  
_All the rules have changed..._

  
*******************************************

 

The supplies in the cabinets were beginning to run low.

 

Adam had put it off as long as possible, but they couldn’t wait any longer. They needed to venture back outside, at least as far as the nearest convenience store – somewhere they could find canned foods and batteries and matches.

 

They decided it was safer for no one to go alone – and yet, that left the question of who was to go and who was to stay. Nathan seemed like a nice enough guy, but he was not about to let Allison go off with him alone – especially after Kris’s warning words that morning. On the other hand, however, he was unwilling to leave her alone in the house, either – because Kris was little protection at this point, if any looters happened to take an interest in the place.

 

“We can’t just leave Kris here alone,” Allison argued, her brow creased with worry.

 

“He can lock himself in the bedroom,” Adam pointed out. “He agrees with me that it’s best for the three of us to go. Nothing will happen to him. If someone broke into the house, the door would be locked, and they’d never even know he’s here. And if they did manage to get into his room, all he’d have to do is tell them that he’s sick,and they’d take off.”

 

Allison reluctantly agreed, and the three of them stepped out into the bright sunlight for the first time in days. Adam closed his eyes for a moment, breathing in the cool morning breeze, feeling the sun beat down on his shoulders and enjoying the momentary illusion that everything was as it had always been.

 

He opened his eyes – and for a moment, the illusion seemed to continue.

 

“_Sweet_…”

 

Allison’s slow drawl held a note of awe, voicing Adam’s mental reaction to the sight of the vehicle that Nathan had parked in their driveway.

 

It was a gleaming black Escalade with sparkling chrome details, and it looked as if it’d barely been driven.

 

“Is this yours?” Allison asked eagerly as she opened the front passenger door and slid inside.

 

Adam momentarily considered protesting, but then just sighed, rolling his eyes as he got into the back seat.

 

“It is now,” Nathan replied as he started the engine. “No need to worry about saving gas, now. There’s plenty to go around. And I took this off a lot a couple of miles from here. Nobody was there, or had been for days, looked like. So, I just looked around until I found the right set of keys and took it.” He shrugged. “It’s not stealing if there’s no one left to claim it.”

 

Adam flinched slightly, taken aback by the unexpectedly callous remark. But despite his light tone, Nathan’s mouth was set in a grim line, indicating that he was well aware of the more sobering implications of his conclusions.

 

Allison’s eyes were wide as she considered it. “Right… all those cars and houses and shit… just like, totally abandoned now…” Her words were slow and thoughtful. “Just… for whoever happens to need them.”

 

Nathan’s grin was disarming and affectionate, and Adam found himself smiling with him, in spite of his concerns, as Nathan bumped Allison’s shoulder with his own and teased her. “How’d you think we were going to get the supplies on that list? Wait in line at the 7-11?”

 

“Well, no,” Allison admitted. “I guess I just… didn’t think about all the _big_ stuff, just… just lying around now…”

 

As they made their way slowly down the street, watching for a convenience store, they came across more and more vehicles, parked in driveways or along the sides of the streets, near houses with shattered windows and broken down doors. The roads were obstructed with dozens of cars, and Adam thought about the road blocks they’d heard about, the military presence that was supposed to be maintaining the quarantine. He imagined the people who’d tried to leave the city, only to be stopped by tanks or guns or whatever else might have been used to divert them. He imagined people so desperate that they’d abandoned their vehicles and tried to find a less conspicuous way to slip out of the city undetected.

 

He wondered again, with a sharp pang in his chest, where his mother had gone.

 

They stopped at the first gas station they found that appeared to have a decent-sized convenience store. It had obviously already been picked over already. The shelves where canned goods and beef jerky and crackers were kept were empty, the aisles littered with various unwanted merchandise – car air fresheners and fake feather roses and shattered glass figurines – things that were utterly useless and irrelevant to their new environment.

 

Nathan was the first to think of checking the stockroom for anything the scavengers might have missed – and fortunately, they’d missed quite a bit. The three of them began loading up the Escalade with cardboard trays of canned chili and vegetables, bottles of Gatorade, batteries, and several packages of toilet paper. The matches on the shelf had all been taken, but Adam found an opened, half-full box behind the counter. Allison grabbed a hand can opener she found next to the empty canned goods shelf, tucking it into her pocket as she followed the guys to the car. Once they’d taken everything they could find that might prove useful, they were pleased to see that the back of the Escalade was fully loaded.

 

“This should last us a while,” Adam observed with a satisfied nod. “And if we run out of anything, we can always find another store.” He paused, swallowing hard before echoing Nathan’s earlier observation. “There aren’t enough people left to use it all up.”

 

On the way home, Adam studied the pile of supplies beside him, stuff that had already been in the car when they left. It appeared to be mostly medical supplies – bandages and antiseptics and dozens of orange prescription bottles filled with pills.

 

“You have any antibiotics back here?” he asked, picking up a bottle and scanning the writing on its side.

 

“I think I’ve got a little of everything back there,” Nathan replied with a grin. “Help yourself.”

 

Adam spent the rest of the trip back to the house looking through the stash for anything that might possibly make an impact on the illness that was still coursing through Kris’s body, threatening at any moment to take his life. He took some of anything that he recognized as being antibiotic or antiviral and tucked them into his pocket. When they reached the house, he was out before anyone, rushing ahead toward Kris’s room.

 

*************************************

 

“Guess he knows better than to accidentally overdose your friend, right?” Nathan’s tone was mildly doubtful, a slight frown of concern on his lips as he turned to face Allison at the back of the SUV.

 

Allison turned her gaze to follow Adam as he disappeared into the house, a heavy ache of sadness in her chest. She shook her head as she faced Nathan again, forcing a smile. “He’ll be careful. He just… if _anything _can help Kris…”

 

“I know.” Nathan’s tone was sympathetic, and he reached out a gentle hand to squeeze her shoulder. “It’s just…” He hesitated, biting his lip and looking away.

 

Allison felt an uneasy sensation in the pit of her stomach as she realized what he was so hesitant to point out. “I know,” she admitted quietly. “If any of that shit would help… all the doctors who were trying to find a cure would have found it before… before all _this_ happened…”

 

“But… he’s lasted this long,” Nathan pointed out, giving her a hopeful smile that would have been a lot more encouraging if it had reached his eyes.

 

“Yeah.” Allison nodded, forcing a brave smile to match his. “He’s survived longer than anyone else we’ve seen who got sick, and… and he’s not getting better, yet, but… he’s pretty much staying the same, so… maybe…”

 

“Maybe he really will get better.”

 

But that night, Kris took a drastic turn for the worse.


	20. Chapter 20

Adam was awakened around three o’clock that morning by the almost eerie sound of Kris’s hoarse, feverish moans of distress.

 

He rose from his pallet on the floor, alarmed to see that Kris was tossing fitfully on the bed, his body tangled in the damp sheets. He was completely unresponsive when Adam tried to rouse him, but he flinched away from Adam’s touch against his forehead. A moment later, Adam realized that his touch must have felt uncomfortably cold against the searing heat that was emanating from Kris’s skin.

 

_He’s too hot… he’s_ way _too hot…_

 

A jolt of panic spurred Adam into action, and he spent the next three hours trying to bring down the fever that had spiked to an alarmingly dangerous 104 degrees during the night – though there was frustratingly little he could actually _do_.

 

Kris was too weak and in too much pain to swallow any more of the pills Adam had collected – not that any of them had been doing any good so far, anyway. Thankful that they still had running water, Adam went back and forth between the bathroom and Kris’s room over and over again, soaking one of his mother’s washcloths with cool water and placing it on Kris’s forehead.

 

Unfortunately, it didn’t seem to offer Kris any more than a temporary easing of the inhuman heat that ravaged his body, slowly consuming his strength and edging him nearer and nearer to the point of no return.

 

Every time Kris flinched away from Adam’s touch, every pleading whimper of distress that fell from his lips, just increased Adam’s sense of frustration and helplessness.

 

“You’re going to be okay,” Adam soothed him in a whisper, though he wasn’t sure whether or not Kris could even hear him at this point, or comprehend the words if he could. “Just hang on, Kris… just… you have to _fight_ it…”

 

Adam swallowed back the sob that rose in his throat, desperate to stay quiet so as not to alert Allison and Nathan to this most recent, distressing development. He blinked back tears, determined to stay strong and keep his emotions at bay for as long as it took to bring Kris back from this, to just help him through this rough spot so that he could get better again.

 

 

_Because he_ was _getting better. I know he was. He was sitting up and talking and eating and everything, but now…_

 

_No. This… this isn’t… It_ isn’t. _He’s going to get better. He is._

“Adam?” A hushed, uncertain voice from the doorway of Kris’s room drew Adam’s attention, and he looked up in alarm to see Allison standing there. As he stared blankly at her in distracted silence, she took a hesitant step into the room – and suddenly alarms went off in Adam’s head as she crossed the invisible line that, in his mind, separated her from the danger of Kris’s illness. “Is he… what’s happening?”

 

“Get out of here!” Adam snapped, his voice trembling with mingled fear and frustration as he rose to his feet and took a step toward her. When she hesitated, he repeated, his voice rising. “Don’t just stand there! I said _get out_!”

 

Allison blinked at him, startled and hurt, her lower lip quivering, and Adam suddenly wanted nothing more than to close the distance between them and pull her into his arms, soothing her and apologizing and assuring her that he hadn’t meant it – but he knew that if he did, he’d only be putting her at risk. Instead, he forced his gaze away from Allison, pointedly returning it to Kris’s restless, shivering form – deliberately ignoring her until she finally backed out of the room and closed the door behind her.

 

**************************************************

 

The sting of Adam’s words was still with Allison several hours later, and she found herself blinking back fresh tears as she prepared a quick dinner for the three of them.

Kris hadn’t eaten anything in the past twenty-four hours.

_He didn’t mean it_, she told herself as she forcibly banished the image from her mind, focusing instead on stirring the pan of canned spaghetti sauce she was heating on Leila’s stove. _He’s just… scared. For Kris._

 

She swallowed hard, trying to force back the knot in her throat.

 

_And so am I_.

 

“At least Adam’s mom had a gas stove, so we can still cook our food indoors…”

She brushed the back of her hand across her eyes, squaring her shoulders and trying to focus on the positive, like Nathan seemed to be doing – though at the moment there seemed to be precious little of it. The mention of Adam’s name thwarted her efforts not to think about that morning, and no matter how hard she tried to will away the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, her efforts met with no success.

 

_He just wanted me to be safe… not to go in there and get sick, like… like Kris…_

 

Nathan was sitting at the table behind her, one of the chairs turned around to face her, watching her cook and talking about – something. She’d long since lost track, her thoughts thoroughly consumed by what was going on in the bedroom down the hall; but now, Allison tried to focus on his words, desperate for something to distract her from this new line of thought – so much infinitely worse than her little case of hurt feelings because Adam had yelled at her.

 

“… so we really won’t have to stop cooking our food. We’ll just have to make a kind of makeshift barbeque pit, sort of, you know? We’ll just have to learn to rough it the way the pioneers did. It’ll make us stronger in the end, anyway… better suited for the new way of the world…”

 

Nathan’s voice trailed off, and Allison turned at the sound of soft footsteps, stepping back automatically to allow Adam access to the kitchen sink beside her. He didn’t look at or speak to either of them as he rinsed out a damp washcloth with cool water from the tap.

 

Turned sideways between the two of them, Allison saw Nathan’s brow crease into a troubled frown out of the corner of her eye. His words were slow and cautious, yet clearly revealing his disapproval.

 

“That’s not… have you been using that to…?”

 

“If you don’t like it, you can get out.”

 

Allison flinched at the unusually hard edge behind Adam’s quiet, certain voice. She bit her lower lip, not saying anything as Adam wrung out the cloth and retreated back into Kris’s room.

 

As far as she knew, since the night before, he’d only left that room at all to get things that Kris needed.

 

Nathan stood up as she turned back toward the stove, and Allison could feel the tension radiating from him as he silently reached across her for the pan of boiling water on the back burner, the one she’d been about to fill with dry noodles. He poured the water over the sink basin, careful to make contact with every inch of surface that the water from Adam’s washcloth might have touched.

 

Allison quietly watched him, not offering any protest or agreement with his actions.

 

She could understand where _both_ men were coming from.

 

“I’m not trying to be cruel.” Nathan spoke up at last, his voice soft and apologetic. “It’s just… there’s no reason to put us all at risk by making reckless choices…”

 

“Just Adam, right?” The bitter, scathing words had left her lips before she even realized she had thought them. “He’s the only one who should be risking his life for Kris?”

 

Nathan didn’t respond for a moment as he refilled the pan with water and set it back down on the burner. Finally, he turned to face her, his eyes solemn and sympathetic as he replied.

 

“He shouldn’t be risking his life either, Allison. He still has a chance. We all do. But… Kris…”

 

“_Don’t_. Don’t say it.”

 

Allison cut him off sharply, her voice trembling as she broke his gaze and returned to the task at hand, relieved when he simply nodded in acceptance of her wishes and returned to his seat at the table. She didn’t want to hear his assessment of Kris’s chances of survival, didn’t want to hear him say out loud that they were better off focusing on their own well-being and simply leaving Kris to die alone.

 

She didn’t want to hear it – but a tiny, treacherous part of her, deep down, was beginning to fear that he was right.

 

*********************************************

 

Adam emerged from Kris’s room a couple of hours later, this time with no empty glass or lukewarm washcloth in hand. He closed the door quietly behind him, then leaned against it, allowing his head to fall back against it and closing his eyes with a weary sigh.

 

Allison watched him with concern from the kitchen doorway for a moment, taking in his visible exhaustion, the worried lines that creased his pale face, the limp, careless fall of his hair across his eyes. Too tired even to brush it out of the way, Adam let out a little breath that pushed it momentarily upward, only to let it fall back into his face a moment later.

 

Allison closed the distance between them, reaching a gentle hand up to tuck the damp, listless strands behind Adam’s ear. He startled slightly at her touch, drawing in a breath and looking down at her through sad, tired eyes.

 

“Let me take care of him for a little while,” Allison suggested softly. “Adam, you’re wearing yourself out.”

 

“No,” Adam sighed, shaking his head against the door behind him as he closed his eyes again. “No, there’s no reason why you should take chances with your health, too.” He paused, looking down to meet her eyes again before glancing over his shoulder at the closed door. “Besides… he’s sleeping now.”

 

Allison felt a tiny, cruel spark of hope. “Maybe… maybe the fever’s going down?”

 

“No.” Adam looked as if he felt guilty for crushing what little hope she held out. “I think his body’s just too totally exhausted to stay awake any longer, fever or not.”

 

Allison was quiet for a moment, as the unpleasant implications of his words sank in. If Kris was too tired to even stay awake, what chance did his weakened body have of fighting off the illness that was ravaging it?

 

“Adam… you should really get some sleep,” Allison gently advised her friend, stepping forward and reaching out to place a comforting hand on his arm, even as Adam shook his head in automatic refusal. “You can’t take care of him if you’re too exhausted to function.”

 

“I… I _can’t_,” Adam whispered, and the frustration and despair in his voice tore at Allison’s heart.

 

“You don’t have a choice,” Allison insisted, her tone taking on a stern note. “Adam, you’re barely able to stand up right now…”

 

“I can’t,” he repeated, meeting her eyes, and the haunted look she saw in his gaze told her with brutal clarity just what he was so afraid of, even before he went on. “What if I do, and… and while I’m sleeping, he… he…”

 

Adam’s words broke off, and he lowered his face into his trembling hands, his shoulders quaking with silent sobs that abruptly overwhelmed him. Allison immediately stepped forward, putting her arms around him and holding on tight as Adam seemed to fall apart under her hands.

 

“Hey,” she whispered. “It’s all right… it’s all right…”

 

Suddenly, Adam’s fear and frustration began to pour out of him, his much larger frame collapsing slightly in her embrace, as if he was simply too exhausted to hold onto it anymore. Allison staggered back a step under the sudden weight, running a soothing hand up and down his back as she steadied them both.

 

“Shh, it’s okay, Adam… let’s just… let’s sit down, okay? You need to sit down for a few minutes… just rest a little bit…”

 

“No,” Adam cried softly. “No, I can’t go to sleep…”

 

“I didn’t say go to sleep,” Allison reminded him as she took a backward step toward the living room, pulling Adam along with her. “Just sit down for a few minutes. Just… give yourself a few minutes to rest. All right?”

 

Adam didn’t verbally agree, but he didn’t resist as Allison turned toward the living room, keeping one arm around him and guiding him toward the sofa. He sat down beside her, unresisting as she placed a hand at the back of his neck and pushed gently down until his head was resting on her shoulder.

 

“There you go,” she murmured. “That’s it, Adam. Just rest for a minute.”

 

“I can’t… can’t sleep,” Adam insisted, but his whispered words were breathless and weary, slurred slightly with his exhaustion. “Can’t…”

 

“I know,” Allison whispered, pressing a tender kiss to Adam’s temple as she ran her fingers gently, soothingly through his hair. “I know. Just… just sit here with me for a minute, okay? Just for a minute…”

 

Adam’s body couldn’t quite match the resolve of his words, and even as he was still mumbling weak, half-formed protests, Allison felt his body gradually go slack against her as it gave in to his exhaustion. She shifted back along the sofa until she was against the armrest, allowing Adam’s head to slide downward as she did until it was resting in her lap. She continued stroking his hair for a few minutes, watching and listening until the tension in his shoulders gradually eased, and his breath evened out into a slow, peaceful rhythm.

 

_He might be mad at me when he wakes up, but he_ needs _this, whether or not he wants to admit it…_

 

Once she was sure that Adam was asleep, Allison carefully, painstakingly eased herself up and out from under him. Sliding off the couch and to her feet, she took the soft fleece throw from the back of the sofa and laid it over Adam before slipping out of the room and down the hall toward Kris’s door.

 

_Adam doesn’t want to let me help, but maybe I can make things a little easier for him – and after I’ve already been around Kris, there’s no reason for him to try to stop me…_

 

Allison swallowed back the lump in her throat, blinking back tears as her hand stopped on the doorknob, just short of turning it.

 

_And… if he isn’t going to make it… if this is really… really it, then… then I at least need to have the chance to say goodbye…_

 

Allison’s hand tightened on the doorknob, but just before she could turn it, a larger hand closed over hers, drawing it back and turning her around to face its owner. She opened her mouth, ready to protest Adam’s frustrating tendency toward overprotection – but she stopped short when she saw that it was Nathan, not Adam, who had stopped her from entering Kris’s room.

 

_Actually, all things considered – not all that surprising…_

“I’m sorry, Allison,” Nathan whispered, and Allison momentarily wondered why he was being so careful to be quiet, with Adam sound asleep in the next room and Kris in no condition to even be aware of their presence, even if he _could _hear him. “But I can’t let you do that.”

 

“Yeah, well, it’s really not up to you,” Allison shot back, turning away and reaching for the door again, but letting out a sharp, startled yelp when Nathan jerked her back around to face him. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

 

“What I have to, to make sure we survive,” Nathan replied without hesitation, his strong hand locking around her wrist and tugging her away from the bedroom and toward the front door. “Allison, I hate to be so blunt… but Kris is _dying_.”

 

She flinched at the harsh words, her heart lurching painfully, but Nathan did not back down.

 

“Kris is dying,” he repeated, “and Adam seems determined to die with him – but you and I, we don’t have to.” When Allison opened her mouth to protest, Nathan met her eyes sharply. “We’re getting out of here. _Now_.”


	21. Chapter 21

“Come on. We have to go, _now_.”

 

Nathan took Allison’s hand and urgently tugged her toward the door; but Allison frantically pulled out of his grasp, shaking her head.

 

“You’re crazy,” she declared, her voice trembling as she took a couple of steps backward, toward Kris’s bedroom door. “We’re not going anywhere. I mean – _I’m_ not going anywhere. You can go wherever the hell you want, but… did you seriously think I would just… _walk away_ from…?”

 

“From what?” Nathan’s voice rose with his frustration, and he threw his arms up in a vague gesture to indicate the entire situation. “From taking your turn in this insane _death chain_ you’ve all got going here?”

 

“Don’t say that!” Allison’s heart dropped at his words, and the terrifying implications of them, though she’d been trying her best to ignore them. “Don’t! It’s not like…”

 

Not like you’re right, on some level… not like Kris is getting sicker all the time, and… and… nothing we’ve tried so far has worked…

 

“It’s _exactly_ like that, Alli! Come on, don’t pretend you don’t see it!” Nathan insisted, taking a step forward, refusing to let her retreat. “First Kris’s wife, and now Kris…”

 

“Stop!” Allison’s voice rose in protest, hot tears streaming down her face. “Don’t _talk_ about him like that…”

 

“Like what?”

 

Her words were choked and hoarse, betraying the anguished ache she felt as she replied, “Like he’s already dead!”

 

Nathan shook his head slowly, his own eyes sympathetic and sad as he took another step to close the distance between them and put a cautious hand on her arm. “He is, Alli,” he said in a very soft voice.

 

“_No_…”

 

“_He is_,” Nathan repeated, his voice, his gaze, his touch all gently relentless, forcing her to hear him. “And because Adam is choosing to waste his time and his _life_ trying to change what can’t be changed – trying to help him when there _is_ no help, don’t we all know that by now? He’s going to be next, Alli. He’s going to die, too, if he won’t walk away and save himself – and he won’t. We both know that.”

 

Allison couldn’t seem to find her voice, her throat closed up and aching with the tears that blurred her vision. She just shook her head, leaning back against the wall behind her, but not pulling away from Nathan’s soothing touch.

 

“And when he gets sick… when he’s _dying_, Allison… we both know you won’t be able to find it in you to leave. So… what then? _You’re_ going to be next? You’re going to sacrifice your life for a lost cause that you can’t win? No…” Nathan’s tone grew firmer, and he tugged on her arm again, backing up away from Kris’s door. “No, I’m sorry, Alli, but you don’t have that luxury.”

 

Allison frowned, looking up at him in confusion at his unexpected choice of words, too momentarily caught off guard to try to stop him as he pulled her along with him, out of the hallway and into the kitchen.

 

“L-luxury…?”

 

“You have the right to _survive_, Allison,” Nathan insisted, taking her other arm as well and leaning in close to look her straight in the eye. “Not just the right – the _responsibility_. There’s not very many people left right now, you know that, and you’re a healthy, beautiful, strong young woman, and it’s going to take that _strength_, Alli – that’s what it’s going to take for the human race to survive! If you decide to just stay here and die, you’re not just deciding for _you_, you’re deciding for all of us, and I can’t let you _do_ that…”

 

As he went on, Nathan’s words grew faster and more urgent, and Allison looked up with alarm to see an almost manic desperation in his eyes as he turned toward the front door, dragging her along with him.

 

“Wait – _no_!” she cried out, struggling to free herself from his strong grasp. “No, I’m not going with you! Let _go_ of me!”

 

“Shhh,” he soothed her. Before she knew what he was doing, he’d turned her around ahead of him and wrapped one arm around her waist, pinning her arms to her sides. His other hand clamped down firmly over her mouth, silencing her increasingly frantic protests. “Quiet, Alli. Whether or not you can see it right now, this is for your own good. I’m saving your life, whether you like it or not.”

 

Panic fueled her struggles as Nathan dragged her toward the door, and she thrashed her head back and forth, frantically fighting to twist her arms free; but she wasn’t strong enough to loosen his grasp. When they reached the door off of the kitchen, however, Nathan had no choice but to let go with one hand to open it. He let go of her mouth for a moment – and that moment was all she needed.

 

Allison let out a scream at the top of her lungs, hoping that it would be enough to undo all the work she’d put into getting Adam to fall asleep earlier.

 

“_Adam_! _Help me_!”

 

Nathan barely had time to turn around to gauge the success of her attempt before Adam appeared in the doorway, looking disheveled and a bit confused, but wide awake. He took one look at the scene across the room from him, and then, without hesitation, rushed forward to Allison’s defense.

 

“Get off her!” he snarled, his voice hoarse and ragged with sleep.

 

Nathan cursed under his breath as he roughly shoved Allison away from him, sending her staggering backward into kitchen counter. Her back hit it hard, and she let out a sharp little yelp of pain at the impact. When she focused on the scene in front of her again, Adam and Nathan were rolling on the floor, each desperately struggling to overpower the other. Adam managed to gain the upper hand, straddling Nathan’s waist and reaching down with one hand to pin his left arm to the floor. As he did so, however, Nathan’s jacket fell back a little, and Allison drew in her breath sharply at the brief flash of silver she saw tucked into his belt.

 

“_Gun_!” she blurted out the word as soon as it registered in her mind. “Adam, he’s got a gun!”

 

Nathan immediately reached for the weapon, and Allison wondered momentarily if she’d made a mistake, if he might not have even remembered he had it, had she not called his attention to it. Adam immediately caught Nathan’s right arm, letting go of the left and fighting to keep him from using the weapon now clutched tightly in his hand. Nathan swung with his left hand at Adam’s head, connecting a glancing blow against his temple, and Adam nearly lost his grip as he tried to evade the next punch.

 

Finally, Adam managed to free one hand long enough to land a punch of his own, and Nathan’s grip on the gun momentarily loosened enough for Adam to wrest it from his grasp. Adam immediately rose up onto his knees, the gun clutched in his own trembling hands and extended, aimed directly at Nathan’s head.

 

Nathan froze under him, holding up his hands in a gesture of surrender. Allison knew that there was no way that Adam would shoot him – and she saw the instant when _Nathan_ realized that as well. The slightest quirk of a smile on his lips, a hungry gleam in his eyes, and she knew that he had realized his advantage, and was going to take it.

 

Before Nathan could try to take back the weapon, however, Adam took action – not pulling the trigger, but bringing the gun down sharply across Nathan’s face.

 

Adam rose to his feet, still aiming the gun at Nathan as he backed up to stand in front of Allison, watching warily as the other man rolled over onto his side, covering his face with a groan of pain. Adam put his arm out behind him, blindly reaching for Allison, and she gratefully slid under his arm, leaning into the strong, warm safety of his embrace.

 

“Get out,” Adam ordered, his voice trembling but certain, as Nathan climbed clumsily to his feet. “_Now_.”

 

Nathan shook his head, trying to clear it, one hand raised to press against the bleeding spot above his left eye, not acknowledging Adam’s command. Finally he looked up, blinking as his vision came back into focus before looking between the two of them. He shook his head slowly, a bitter laugh falling from his lips.

 

“I mean it,” Adam insisted, his voice becoming hard and warning, his eyes narrowed in anger. “I don’t want to shoot you, but if you try to come near her again, I will.” He paused, glancing back at Allison for a moment before meeting Nathan’s eyes. “This is _my_ house,” he declared. “And I can’t trust you in it. So get out.”

 

“You’re making a big mistake,” Nathan replied, his voice ragged and his breathing labored, before focusing his gaze on Allison. “Both of you. You’re making the biggest mistake of your lives.”

 

Adam didn’t respond, just stood there waiting, the gun in his hand never faltering. Allison was quiet for a moment, drawing in a deep, shuddering breath as she struggled to calm herself before offering a soft, simple response.

 

“I guess we’ll see.”

 

Nathan blinked at her, taken aback for a moment, before shaking his head, his lower lip curled in disgust.

 

“_I_ won’t.”

 

And with that, he turned and headed for the door, taking the keys to his SUV from his pocket as he went. Adam kept one arm around Allison, the other aiming the gun at Nathan’s back, until he had disappeared, slamming the door behind him. Even then, Adam didn’t lower the gun, the two of them standing, waiting in tense silence, until the roar of the SUV’s engine was heard from outside, revving to life, and then finally fading away down the street.

 

Adam was breathing hard, and Allison could feel his body trembling against hers, as he finally lowered the weapon in his hand, staring down at it blankly. Abruptly he threw it down, as if it burned him, as if he couldn’t stand to be touching it a moment longer, and turned to face her fully, wrapping both arms around her and crushing her to his chest.

 

She could feel his desperation in her arms, could feel him shaking with the fear he’d felt – fear of losing her – and guilt crashed down on her in waves. She clung to him, burying her face against him and allowing herself to cry.

 

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed out, the words muffled against his shirt. “I’m so sorry, I just wanted you to get some rest… and I w-wanted to see Kris, but… but I didn’t know that this would h-happen, I’m so, _so sorry_…”

 

“Shh,” Adam whispered, raising one hand to run it soothingly through her hair. “It’s okay, baby girl… it’s all right… everything’s okay…”

 

They clung to each other for a few minutes, until gradually, their embrace began to ease as the relief of still being together and safe began to sink in for them. The heavy, rasping sound of Adam’s breathless gasps and Allison’s quiet sobs gradually died away, leaving them in what should have been silence.

 

But it wasn’t.

 

A thin, rattling sound drew their attention abruptly to the doorway leading to the hall, and Adam instinctively pushed Allison behind him, poised to protect her from whatever this new threat might be – except that there was no threat. In fact, the shaking, pale, terrifyingly thin form, kneeling in the kitchen doorway and clutching the door jamb to hold himself up, could not possibly have looked any less threatening.

 

Allison’s heart seemed to catch in her throat at the sight of him, aching at the visible state of suffering he was in, as she said his name in a hoarse, tearful whisper.

 

“_Kris_…”


	22. Chapter 22

“_Kris_!”

 

Adam’s exclamation echoed against the walls of the small kitchen, the panic in his voice clear as he immediately released Allison and rushed across the room to crouch on the floor at Kris’s side.

 

“Kris, what happened? Are you all right?”

 

There was a horrible wheezing, rattling noise, and Allison realized with a dawning sense of horror that the sound was Kris’s breath. Her own chest ached at the thought of how painful simply drawing breath must have been for him. She stayed where she was, however, somehow unable to make herself cross the room to join Adam, with Nathan’s words still so fresh in her mind, and the reality of Kris’s condition so blatant before her eyes.

 

She felt a pang of guilt and sympathy for Adam as she realized just how much reality he’d been protecting her from for the past few days.

 

“Alli,” Kris whispered, shaking his head, looking up at her through bloodshot, unfocused eyes, and she wasn’t sure that he was really seeing her. “Is she… she…?”

 

“She’s all right,” Adam assured him immediately, wrapping his arms around Kris without hesitation. “Shit, Kris, you’re soaked… and you’re shivering. We’ve got to get you back to bed, come on…”

 

“She… she’s not…” Kris frowned, shaking his head as if unable to make coherent words come out. “I thought… I t-tried…”

 

The pieces suddenly came together in Allison’s mind, and tears sprang to her eyes as she realized how Kris had ended up collapsed in the kitchen doorway. She’d screamed for help, and her scream had awakened Adam and brought him to her rescue – but she’d also alerted Kris, and even in his severely weakened condition, he’d tried his best to get to her, to help her, to protect her…

 

She didn’t even remember crossing the room, but suddenly she was down on the floor with the boys, her arms around Kris, her face pressed against the damp fabric of his shirt.

 

“I’m right here,” she assured him, her voice hoarse and tearful. “I’m okay, Kris, it’s okay… I’m all right…”

 

She felt a weak, alarmingly light arm fall across her back, and heard Kris’s whispered words over her head, relief clear in his weak, shaky voice.

 

“Alli… _Alli_…”

 

“Come on, Kris,” Adam repeated, and the wobble Allison heard in his voice tore at her heart. “I took care of it. Alli’s safe. We’re all safe – but you need to lie down.”

 

Allison helped Adam to lift Kris to his feet, and one on either side of him, they led him back to his bed and helped him to lie down. Despite his obvious worry over Allison’s safety, Kris’s weak, weary body surrendered almost immediately to sleep.

 

Adam left the room without a word, and Allison followed him, concerned, closing Kris’s bedroom door quietly behind her. She found Adam in the living room, dragging the sofa toward the door.

 

“What are you doing?” she asked, frowning with confusion.

 

“Help me,” Adam gasped out as he gave the heavy sofa another pull, shifting it another few feet. “We need to block the door… in case he comes back.”

 

Allison immediately rushed to the other end of the sofa, pushing as Adam pulled and moving the thing the rest of the way in just a few seconds. Adam tried the door, satisfied when he could not pull it open more than an inch.

 

“Go to the garage,” he instructed as he returned to the middle of the room, assessing the wooden coffee table with a critical look. “There should be a tool kit on the bottom shelf on the right-hand side.”

 

Allison complied, heading toward the garage – but jumped at the alarming sound of splintering wood behind her. She spun on her heel to see Adam hefting the rather light coffee table by two legs and smashing it down against the floor again, breaking the wood into small, uneven slats. He picked up one of them, a couple of feet across, and headed toward the window before he noticed her still standing there.

 

“Well, go on, Alli,” he urged her, gentle exasperation in his voice. “We need to get these windows boarded before he decides to come back.”

 

************************************************

 

Adam didn’t sleep the rest of the night.

 

After the two of them managed to get all the doors blocked with the heavy furniture and the windows blocked with pieces of the lighter stuff, Allison finally fell asleep on the couch for a few hours. Despite his rather impressive makeshift barricades, however, Adam didn’t feel comfortable sleeping – not when the man who’d just tried to steal Allison away might decide to come back and try again.

 

After Allison was sleeping, Adam went into the kitchen and cautiously picked up the gun he’d dropped earlier, examining it warily as he took it back with him into the living room and laid it down on the arm of the recliner he was using as a guard post. He left it there for a few moments, just under his hand – but he kept glancing nervously toward it, uncomfortable with it’s being so close to him, and eventually he set it down on the floor beside the chair, just out of his reach and therefore incapable of being accidentally fired.

 

_If nothing else, those barricades will serve as a warning, _he reassured himself. _If he tries to break in, it’ll take him long enough that I should be able to easily get to the gun before he can get in…_

_… with whatever new weapons he’s managed to get in the past few hours. Whatever weapons he might have had all along. God, I should have _checked_ – should have checked the SUV while he was sleeping or something. He had that thing here the _whole time_…_

But when daylight came and Adam found himself drifting unwillingly toward sleep, the barricades were still undisturbed. Nathan had, apparently, moved on in search of a more willing companion. Although he was staring at the wooden boards that blocked the windows, and knew that they were intact, Adam still jumped when he felt the slight brush of contact against his arm – and was immediately grateful that he’d moved the gun from under his hand when he turned in his seat to see Allison standing at his side.

 

Her hair was sleep-disheveled, her eyes puffy and shadowed, but she had a soft, sympathetic smile on her lips.

 

“Did you stay up _all night_?” she asked.

 

He nodded, looking back toward the window. “Guess he’s not coming back.”

 

“Good.”

 

Allison’s arms moved to cross protectively over her chest, but Adam didn’t miss the little shiver that passed through her. He reached out an arm to wrap around her waist, pulling her closer, and she rested her hip against the arm of the chair, leaning against him.

 

“Thanks,” she whispered, her voice trembling and soft and so vulnerable that he wanted to hold her close and never let her go. “For keeping me safe.”

 

Adam kissed her arm, because it was the nearest part of her to his face, and squeezed her gently as he replied, “I always will.”

 

After a few moments of peaceful, companionable silence, Adam realized once again that he was drifting off, and shook his head, drawing in a deep breath as he sat up straight and tried to wake himself up.

 

“You need to sleep, Adam,” Allison insisted softly. “You can’t just stay awake forever, you know…”

 

“I know, but… but I don’t want to leave you alone,” Adam sighed. “Alli, after last night, you’ll have to forgive me if I’m not comfortable with that.”

 

“But he’s gone now, Adam…”

 

“You know, it’s not just him I’m worried about,” Adam countered, giving her a worried look. “We’re not the only survivors out there. We _can’t _be. And – I hate to say this, but there’s probably some of them that are a lot worse than Nathan was.”

 

“But it’s daylight,” she pointed out. “And I’ve been sleeping for a while already. And if you don’t get some sleep now, while it’s the safest it’s going to be and he’s not likely to come around… then what are you going to do tonight when it’s actually _dangerous_?”

 

Adam realized with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that she was right. Allison was going to need protecting tonight, and the night after that, and the night after that. He couldn’t just stay awake indefinitely. The best time to sleep _was_ now, while she was wide awake, and the daylight would keep away most potential intruders.

 

“I’ll be careful,” she assured him. “I’ll watch for anything strange, and I’ll wake you up if anyone tries to get in. It’ll be okay, Adam, I promise.”

 

Adam finally gave in, reasoning that with the sofa positioned directly in front of the door, he would certainly be the first to know if there was some kind of trouble. He felt jittery and uneasy, as if he shouldn’t be allowing himself this weakness, and was certain that he wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway, not with his nerves so on edge.

 

Two minutes later, he was fast asleep.

 

******************************************

 

Adam woke up some time later, blinking sleepily as he tried to get his vision to come into focus, unsure of just what had awakened him. He was a little disoriented by the change in the light, but relieved that there still _was_ light filtering through the cracks between the boards over the windows.

 

Allison hadn’t let him sleep past dark.

 

Then he heard it again, the sound that had roused him from sleep – the sound of Allison’s laughter coming from the kitchen.

 

_What’s she laughing at? _

Her voice followed, light and happy, and Adam’s confusion only deepened.

 

_And who is there for her to talk to – in the kitchen, anyway?_

 

Then, Adam’s heart leapt up into his throat at the voice that followed, though he couldn’t quite make out the words – Kris’s voice, quiet and hoarse, but coherent and stronger than he’d heard it in the last few days. Adam got up from the sofa and lurched on unsteady legs to the kitchen doorway, where he stopped in surprise at the welcome sight that met his eyes.

 

Allison and Kris sat at the kitchen table, a steaming bowl of soup in front of each of them – and Kris was actually _eating_.

 

Allison suddenly noticed him, getting up and moving toward him.

 

“Adam! You’re awake! Come on, I’ll get you some soup…”

 

She was beaming as she took his arm and let him to the chair between hers and Kris’s, and he sat down, staring at Kris in disbelief. Kris looked up at him over the bite he was taking, then offered a weak, weary smile.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hey,” Adam replied numbly, out of nothing more than sheer habit.

 

Kris was pale, his eyes red-rimmed and shadowed with dark circles, and his hair was damp and dirty from too many days without a shower and too many nights in a fevered haze – but he was awake, and alert, and giving Adam that smile that he’d almost forgotten, and _eating_, and…

 

“Hey, hey, _Adam_…”

 

The alarm in Kris’s voice, the clinking of his spoon as he put it down and scooted his chair closer to Adam, Kris’s arms around him – all of these registered as if from somewhere far away, under water, and all of them before the fact that he was crying, _sobbing_ with the relief and the release of his pent-up fear and preemptive grief.

 

“It’s okay,” Kris said softly, wrapping his arms around Adam as Adam broke down. “Adam, it’s okay. I’m… I’m feeling a lot better, and… and it’s okay. I’m going to make it, Adam… and everything’s going to be all right…”


	23. Chapter 23

Long after Allison had crashed for the night, leaving Adam for what he’d come to think of already as his “shift”, Kris sat up with him in the living room, keeping him company.

 

They didn’t talk much. Neither of them really had much to talk about that wasn’t deeply depressing or frightening or both at the moment – and besides, they didn’t have to. Adam just sat on the sofa, with Kris curled up on it on his back, his head resting against Adam’s knee.

 

Kris was mostly quiet, Adam presumed because it still hurt his throat to talk much, and also because his thoughts were certainly still mostly of Katy. Kris didn’t seem to want to talk about how much he’d lost, and Adam didn’t want to talk about how much he’d _almost_ lost – so the two of them just sat there in comfortable – if somewhat morose – silence, enjoying the fact that they were actually together and more or less well.

 

Kris’s fever seemed to be completely gone.

 

Immediately after finishing his soup, he’d retreated to the bedroom to lie down again, exhausted by the exertion of just being up. Adam had worried and paced and tried his best not to interrupt Kris’s sleep just to make sure he was alive – but when Kris had emerged from the bedroom again a couple hours later, still smiling and alert and headed for the bathroom to take a shower – Adam finally began to allow himself to hope.

 

Without electricity to warm it, Adam knew that the water had to be ice cold; but after the days Kris had spent without leaving his bed, most of that time tormented by the heat of fever, even the cold water was better than nothing – and they had no way of knowing how long they’d have before that, too, was no longer available to them.

 

When Kris emerged from the bathroom thirty minutes later, one of Leila’s soft blue bath towels wrapped around his waist and his hair dripping, his warm smile was the most welcome sight Adam had seen since this whole nightmare had begun in the arena less than a week ago. Relief had nearly overwhelmed Adam as Kris had sunk down on the sofa beside him and declared that he felt much better.

 

He smelled much better, too – not that Adam was going to tell _him_ that.

 

Adam _did_ tell him to go put some clothes on and quit dripping all over the couch – and Kris had congenially complied, coming out of the bedroom in some castoffs of Adam’s that had been left at Leila’s house a long time ago – and that fit him rather ridiculously.

 

It didn’t matter. Kris really seemed to be _better_.

 

_And he_ is _better. The fever’s gone, and he’s up and talking and_ eating, _and he’s going to be just fine now…_

Adam forced back the dark thoughts pushing at the edges of his mind, the image of Katy’s warm, smiling face, tired but hopeful as she’d told them all how much better she was feeling – mere hours before the illness had come back with a vengeance and ultimately taken her life.

 

_But she never got_ this _much better. She wasn’t eating, and… and that’s not going to happen this time. Not to Kris. Kris is going to keep on getting better, and… and he’s going to be _fine…

 

“I am, Adam.” Kris’s voice was soft but startling in the quiet, and Adam looked down in surprise to see Kris’s dark, solemn eyes staring up at him with sympathy. “I promise.”

 

Adam swallowed hard, realizing slowly that he must have spoken at least part of his thoughts aloud. He opened his mouth to reply, but couldn’t find the words for a long moment. Finally, he looked away, shaking his head.

 

“You… you can’t _promise_ that, Kris. I mean… I think you are. I – _hope_ you are, but… it’s not really in our control…”

 

“No, I… I am going to be okay,” Kris insisted, sitting up and turning to face Adam, his expression earnest and intent. “You don’t understand. I just… I _know _it.”

 

“You can’t _know_ that, Kris!” Adam snapped, hating himself for his words even as they fell from his lips. This was not the encouragement and reassurance that Kris needed to hear right now – but Adam’s ability to keep up the strong, positive façade had been stretched to its limits, and he didn’t think he could handle any more false hope. “How can you _know_ that?”

 

Kris looked away, biting his lower lip, a slight frown of frustration creasing his brow as he visibly struggled to find the right way to explain. Finally, he looked up at Adam again, and there was unmistakable guilt in his eyes.

 

“Because… until now, I haven’t even been really _trying_,” he confessed softly.

 

Adam stared at him, trying to process the words, and then trying to keep the hurt and accusation from his face when he finally _did_ understand.

 

“I… I lost Katy,” Kris whispered, blinking back tears, his lower lip trembling dangerously – and suddenly Adam’s hurt was overwhelmed with guilt, as he remembered that it’d only been a few _days_ since Kris had lost the woman he’d loved since he was a child. “I lost her, and… and she means everything to me, Adam. I… I know it’s selfish, and I know it’s not fair to… to you and Alli, but… I just haven’t felt like I have any reason to go on. I know you and Allison wouldn’t let anything happen to each other, and… and I think about the rest of my life, without… without anything but just _missing_ her, and… and it feels… I don’t know, _easier_, just to… to give up and… and go on, you know? Go… go to _her_.”

 

Adam knew it wasn’t fair, but he felt a deep, burning resentment – a panicked, possessive feeling that made him want to punch Kris in the face and hold him and never let go, all at the same time. The guilt he felt for feeling that way was as strong as his anger, the two emotions warring within him as he struggled not to spill out the confusing tumult of words boiling in his mind. He tried to think of the appropriate way to respond through it all – and the quiet, bitter words that finally came out were quite possibly the _least_ appropriate response he could have come up with.

 

“Isn’t suicide a mortal sin?”

 

The sad, sarcastic little smile that touched Kris’s lips was completely unexpected, and took much of the venom from Adam’s feelings as he replied with quiet simplicity.

 

“It’s not suicide if you just… let go. Is it?”

 

It wasn’t exactly a question, but didn’t hold the certainty of a statement, either.

 

Adam’s shoulders fell as he raised one hand to cover his eyes for a moment, shaking his head. “I’m sorry,” he sighed. “I’m sorry, Kris. This isn’t _about_ me, I know, and I just… I was just so scared we were going to lose you, and… and I’m just so fucking _tired_, you know?”

 

He cursed the tears that choked his words, the tremor of exhausted frustration in his own voice, and struggled to keep it back. Kris didn’t need him breaking down right now, not when he needed every last ounce of his energy focused on getting better.

 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered again, helplessly. “I’m so sorry, Kris.”

 

“No, don’t be,” Kris murmured, rising up on his knees on the sofa and wrapping his arms around Adam, resting his head on his shoulder. “Don’t. I’m not the only one who’s lost people in all of this. You don’t even know where your mom is right now… or the rest of your family. And Alli – God, Adam, she’s just a kid still and she’s all alone…”

 

“Anybody who’s survived,” Adam whispered, the severity of the situation – not just their own, but _everyone’s_ – like a heavy weight pressing down on his shoulders. “_Everyone_’s alone.”

 

“Everyone’s alone,” Kris agreed with a solemn nod. “And… that’s why we need to… to stick together. I… I wasn’t thinking about that. All I was thinking about was…” He hesitated, his voice faltering over words that tore at Adam’s heart, bringing fresh tears to his eyes. “… h-how much it _hurts_.”

 

Adam turned toward Kris, putting his arms around him and pulling him closer as Kris’s head slid down to rest against Adam’s chest. “I know,” Adam whispered, although he was fairly certain he didn’t, not really. He _couldn’t_. “I know…”

 

Kris clung to Adam for a few long moments, his hands clenched into trembling fists that tangled in Adam’s shirt. Adam’s arms tightened around him as he felt the hot moisture of Kris’s tears soaking through, and he just held him close, murmuring soft, wordless sounds of reassurance. Kris couldn’t find words at all for a long time, just silent tears and soft, shuddering breaths that gradually gave way to hoarse, broken sobs as Kris allowed his grief to take over at last.

 

“She’s _gone_,” he whispered at last, and the desolation in his voice made Adam ache for his friend. “I love her so much… and she’s _gone_, Adam…”

 

Adam had no words to offer, nothing he could have said that would have sounded anything more than trite and useless. So he didn’t say anything, just held Kris and rocked slowly back and forth, letting him cry out the grief that he hadn’t had the chance to let go of yet.

 

Adam had no idea how much time had passed when Kris’s tears finally ebbed away, the harsh sound of his hitched, breathless sobs giving way to weighted silence. He almost felt guilty for the sense of reassurance and comfort he drew from the comfortable weight of Kris’s body against him, the physical reassurance that no matter how much he was suffering right now, he was still alive, still _there_, with Adam.

 

_And is it selfish even to want him to be?_ he wondered, closing his eyes and resting his chin on the top of Kris’s head, running one hand slowly, soothingly, up and down his back. _I don’t know what comes after death… where Katy is now… but all he wants is to be with her again… and all I can think about is how much I’d miss him if he was…_

 

“… so _selfish_…”

 

“W-what?”

 

Adam startled out of his thoughts at Kris’s words, realizing only at the tail end of them that Kris had been speaking at all. He swallowed, drawing back a little and staring down at Kris through wide eyes that he hoped didn’t look as guilty as he felt.

 

_And why are you feeling_ guilty _for being glad your friend’s alive? _

 

_God, when did everything get so confusing?_

 

Oblivious to Adam’s inner turmoil, as well as the fact that Adam had no idea what he’d been saying, Kris insisted, “I _was_. I just – I was so caught up in my own – my grief and – and how much it hurt that I just – I just assumed the two of you would be okay, as long as you had each other, and – and I shouldn’t have assumed that. It was selfish of me to just think of what _I_ was going through…”

 

“No,” Adam objected. “Anybody would have…”

 

“I know.” Kris nodded, a sad smile on his lips. “I was still wrong, though. I didn’t get that – not until – until I saw you fighting that guy, trying to protect Alli, only – only he had a gun, and – and you got it away from him, but…” Kris hesitated, an apologetic grimace on his lips as he pointed out, “… you almost _didn’t_.”

 

Adam’s stomach lurched at the words – the reminder of his own weakness and how close he’d come to failing Allison completely and letting her be dragged off to be subject to whatever new rules might govern relationships between men and women in this new anti-society the world was left with. He shuddered to think of what she might have gone through had Nathan succeeded in taking her away with him, claiming her as his own.

 

“I was stupid,” Adam declared, a note of quiet, hard anger in his voice. “I shouldn’t have gone to sleep…”

 

“But that’s just it, Adam,” Kris countered gently, reaching out to place a reassuring hand on Adam’s arm and waiting until he looked up to meet his gaze before going on. “Allison’s a sneaky little thing, and she shouldn’t have tried to make you fall asleep like that, but… but she was right. You _have_ to sleep at some point.”

 

“I slept today,” Adam argued, feeling strangely defensive.

 

“Yeah, for the first time in days, probably. Right?”

 

Adam looked away, his silence all the answer Kris needed.

 

“You’re no good to her or anyone if you can’t get some rest – and more than just a few hours in a few days. And when you’re sleeping, then she’s unprotected,” Kris observed, his tone measured and pensive. “And you need protection, too, Adam, like it or not.” Before Adam could object, he went on. “Say some dude with a gun tries to sneak up on you in the middle of the night while Alli’s sleeping. Say you guys run into a group of guys, and they’re armed, and there’s too many of them…”

 

“Shit, Kris,” Adam whispered, shaking his head and looking away, trying to ignore the trembling feeling in the pit of his stomach. “I could do without _those_ nightmares, thanks…”

 

“I’m just saying…” Kris persisted, his hand on Adam’s arm squeezing gently. “… that guy could have killed you, could have taken Allison away, and – and I was _useless_ to you both. And – I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to either of you just because I was too selfish to even _try_. I know you aren’t planning on staying here much longer, and you guys need someone else along, if only for safety’s sake. Two people alone aren’t going to last long out there, and… and I guess I didn’t see that…”

 

“We don’t need _someone else_.” Adam’s voice was thick and hoarse, and he had to force the words out past the knot that had formed in his throat. He reached out his free hand to clasp Kris’s hand, clinging to it almost fiercely, only loosening his grip when Kris winced slightly. “We need _you_.”

 

“I-I get that now,” Kris replied. “I didn’t before, but… I do now… and if I relapse, or… or start to feel sick again…”

 

“_Don’t_…” Adam fought back the stricken sense of panic those words ignited within him.

 

“_If_ I do,” Kris repeated pointedly, meeting Adam’s eyes with warmth and reassurance in his own. “I’m going to fight it. Okay? No more giving up for me. I’m going to fight with everything in me to make it, Adam. I promise.” He was quiet for a moment before continuing, his voice quiet and thoughtful. “In this new world where there’s… so few people left… every person counts. I don’t have the _right_ to give up, not when you and Alli need me. We need _each other_. And I’m not going to let you down again.”


	24. Chapter 24

Over the next few days, Kris began to grow stronger.  
   
The appetite that had disappeared with the fever now returned with ravenous force – and Adam was intensely relieved to see it. He kept Allison busy fixing small meals for him throughout the days, resting as much as possible in between. He drank a lot of water and dutifully took the antibiotics that Adam laid out for him. Adam wasn’t sure if the pills had played any role in Kris’s recovery, but just in case they had, he didn’t want Kris to stop taking them until he was completely well.  
   
He couldn’t help but notice, however, that the supply of antibiotics was dwindling – as were the contents of Leila’s kitchen cupboards.  
   
On the fourth morning after Kris’s fever had broken, Adam awakened from his turn to sleep to find the house empty, and the front door standing open. His worry only lasted a moment, however, before the sound of casual, laughing voices reached his ears, reassuring him that his friends had not gone far.  
   
He found Kris and Allison sitting on the front lawn on a quilt from one of the bedrooms, smiling and talking and soaking up the sunshine. The sky was a brilliant blue, and a light, cool breeze blew through Allison’s hair as she tossed it back and responded to whatever Kris had just said – whatever had made her laugh for what seemed like the first time in weeks.  
   
The entire scene was surreally normal – as if all the death and destruction had never happened, and everything was just the same as it had always been.  
   
But Kris’s drawn, pale face, the deep shadows under his eyes, the way his clothes hung off his too-thin frame; the grass blowing in the breeze, far longer than Leila Lambert would ever have allowed it to grow; and the wreckage of a burned out car about half a block down the street bore testimony to the fact that _nothing_ was the same as it had been – and it never would be.  
   
Allison smiled and hugged Adam as he sat down on the blanket beside her, then went inside to take her turn resting. Kris made his protest just about every change of shift that he was not yet allowed to take a turn standing watch; but Adam was insistent that he should rest when he felt like he needed to, and only be up when he felt strong enough to be. There would be plenty of time later on, once they were sure he was really well, for him to take on his share of the responsibility for their little makeshift family.  
   
Once Allison went inside, Adam scooted across the blanket closer to Kris, and Kris smiled, visibly pleased, as he leaned over to rest his head on Adam’s shoulder. They sat there like that for a few minutes in comfortable quiet, just enjoying the bright, warm sunshine and the fresh, cool air, before Kris broke the silence with a pensive question.  
   
“Why do you think I got better?”  
   
Adam frowned, troubled by the question. It sounded far too close for his liking to the passively suicidal line of thinking to which Kris had confessed a few days earlier.  
   
“Because you _decided_ to get better, like you said? Because I stayed up night and day to try and _make_ you better? Because it – wasn’t your time?” Adam shook his head, shrugging his shoulders as he concluded in a slightly frustrated tone, “I’m – not really sure what answer you’re looking for here, Kris.”  
   
“No, I don’t mean any of that – not really.” Kris sat up, looking Adam in the eye, and the genuinely thoughtful, puzzled expression Adam saw there was an immense relief. “I mean, like – we haven’t seen or heard of anyone else who got sick with this thing, and – and survived it. I mean, short of on the news before there stopped _being_ any news, and I’m pretty sure we’d decided even at that point that we couldn’t trust it.”  
   
Adam’s lips turned up in a teasing smirk, and he rolled his eyes. “I already think you’re special, Kris. No need to push it…”  
   
Kris shot Adam an exaggerated glare. “Ha ha. No, I was kind of thinking the opposite of that, actually. I mean – I can’t be the only one who got sick but then got better, right?”  
   
Adam paused, struck by the concept that hadn’t occurred to him thus far. “No, probably not,” he agreed. “Let’s think about this for a minute. At this point, we know the majority of the population’s been wiped out. But there are a few survivors out there, like us – or more specifically, like me and Alli.”  
   
Kris nodded. “As in, never got sick in the first place.”  
   
“And now that you mention it, that’s quite the lucky coincidence – neither me or Alli getting sick at all, even with how much we’ve been exposed to it, you know?” Adam mused.  
   
“I guess it’s just like any other bug out there.” Kris shrugged. “Some people are just naturally immune to it.”  
   
Adam nodded thoughtfully. “And some aren’t totally immune, but their systems are still strong enough to fight it off – if they have the will to.”  
   
Kris’s answering smile was bittersweet, and he looked away, lowering his head to rest on Adam’s shoulder again. Adam was pretty sure that this time, though, the gesture was less about expressing his affection and more about hiding the pain in his eyes from his friend. When Kris spoke again, his voice was hoarse and trembling slightly, though Adam couldn’t quite tell if it was from laughter, or tears – or both.  
   
“Aren’t we the most ironic little band of survivors – one straight guy, one gay guy, and the girl neither of them can see as anything but a little sister.”  
   
“Good thing we’re not the _only_ survivors,” Adam laughed, gently squeezing Kris’s shoulders. “Or the human race would be doomed.”  
   
“Yeah,” Kris huffed softly, a subtle note of anger in his voice mingled with his amusement. “There’s also creeps like that Nathan guy who survived.”  
   
“Maybe we _are_ doomed.”  
   
“Nah.” Kris shook his head against Adam’s shoulder, his tone quietly confident. “Yeah, there’s bound to be a few jerks out there who are looking to take advantage of the situation – the fact that there’s no longer anyone to enforce the laws – and for that matter, no laws to enforce, anyway. But most people I figure are gonna be just like us – just looking for a way to survive, to find other people – to somehow start living again, you know?”  
   
“Yeah.”  
   
Adam thought about that for a moment. The idea of various small bands of survivors like theirs, gradually making their way across the desolate, empty cities and towns toward each other, in order to one day rebuild a new society, was actually rather encouraging.  
   
“People will find each other,” Kris went on, as if reading Adam’s thoughts. “And they’ll start forming little communities again.” He was quiet for a moment, and when he spoke again, his voice carried a certain heavy resignation. “But – not in places like this.”  
   
“No,” Adam agreed. “With no source of power, there’s nothing really to draw them here, and with the sheer number of – of bodies, and – and the risk of getting infected again being around so much disease like this – no, the cities aren’t the right place for people to be right now.”  
   
“Agricultural areas.” Kris nodded. “Places where people can start to replenish the food supply.”  
   
“You mean like _your_ home turf?” Adam nudged Kris, smiling in spite of the grim nature of the conversation. “Is that your way of saying you think we should head that way?”  
   
Kris shook his head, not quite returning Adam’s smile. “No. We need to check on your family, and Allison’s, first. They would have been a lot closer to here than mine when everything happened. After that, though – central Arkansas isn’t really sounding like a terrible place to be right now.”  
   
“No, it’s not,” Adam agreed with a sigh, shaking his head. “And no offense, but I _never_ would have imagined myself saying that a couple of weeks ago.”  
   
That did draw a smile to Kris’s lips, and he pushed good-naturedly at Adam’s shoulder.  
   
After a moment, however, they both fell into silence again, lost in their own thoughts.  
   
They had no way of knowing what was to come after this brief, relatively peaceful interlude in the midst of the chaos and destruction. For now, there was still water, and presumably enough non-perishable foods left in various abandoned stores and homes along the way, to keep them going for a long time.  
   
But before long, the running water would fail as well, and they would have to find a way to get fresh, nutritious food as well. Adam thought it was fairly safe to presume that he and Allison were immune to the virus, but it was still a possibility that they had simply been lucky thus far. They had to be careful, had to avoid heavily populated areas where not only the virus that had wiped out most of the population would thrive, but also countless other diseases as well.  
   
Adam wanted to look for their families as much as Kris and Allison did, but although he didn’t want to voice them, he had his doubts as to what they might find, or whether they might find anything at all. If they’d tried to leave their homes and find safer locations, or had been evacuated before everything got too bad to bother trying to save anything – Adam, Kris, and Allison had no way of knowing.  
   
Adam’s heart ached with a fresh pain as once again he thought of his mother, and a helpless sense of frustration closed in on him with the knowledge that he had no idea where to even look for her.  
   
_If they’re among the survivors – and that’s a pretty big ‘if’ at this point – and they’ve done like we have and taken off trying to find their families or trying to find food and shelter and some means of survival – then there’s no guarantee that we’ll find them at all._ Ever.  
   
But – _we still have to _try.  
   
“Wherever we go,” Adam spoke up at last with a heavy sigh, “we can’t stay _here_.”  
   
Kris was quiet for a moment before letting out a breath, relief clear in his voice. “No,” he agreed. “We can’t.”  
   
It was clear that he’d already been thinking that, but just hadn’t wanted to be the one to tell Adam they had to leave. Kris reached past the blanket they were sitting on and tugged absently at the tall grass beside it, his face falling and tears shining in his eyes. Adam’s heart clenched with sympathetic pain for his friend, as his mind went to the most likely place for Kris’s thoughts to already be – the spot in the backyard where Kris had broken the earth and made a final resting place for Katy.  
   
And they were about to leave her behind, here – probably forever.  
   
“We’ve got to go on,” Kris said, his voice barely over a whisper. “It’s – what they’d want, you know? Katy – everyone we’ve lost – they wouldn’t want us to just sit here and – and wait for nothing, you know?”  
   
“Yeah,” Adam agreed gently, wrapping his arm around Kris’s shoulders again and pulling him close. “Yeah, it’s – it’s what we have to do.”  
   
But knowing that didn’t make it any easier to do.  
   
****************************************

******  
   
_To the surviving family of Adam Lambert, Kris Allen, and Allison Iraheta -- _  
   
_As of today, we’re alive. We were here, for a week, but now we’re going on. We’re headed to San Diego to check on Adam’s and Allison’s family members who live there, and then we’re headed east to look for Kris’s family in Conway, Arkansas. When we get there, we’ll probably stay for a while. _  
   
_Please come and find us. There should be plenty of usable vehicles that still have gas in the tanks, and plenty of canned food and bottled water in the stores along the way. Avoid the big cities, where the risk of infection is highest._  
   
_Be careful, and be safe, and we love you._  
   
_Adam, Kris, and Allison_  
   
   
“What do you think?” Adam placed the cap back on the black sharpie he’d used to write the note, in two-inch high letters across the pristine white of Leila’s living room wall, the date added beneath it in slightly larger lettering. “Good enough?”  
   
Kris nodded, reaching out to place a supportive hand on Adam’s shoulder and giving him an encouraging smile. “That should do it. If anyone comes looking for us here, they’ll know where to go from here.”  
   
“We should do this everywhere we stop,” Allison suggested, a naively hopeful note to her voice that made Adam’s heart ache – because he was painfully aware, as she didn’t seem to be, of how highly unlikely it was that _anyone_ would find this note. “Just in case.”  
   
“That’s a great idea,” Kris agreed. “That way if there’s any chance at all, they’ll find us.”  
   
“A lot of other people might find us, too,” Adam sighed, then caught Kris’s concerned, pointed glance toward Allison and added, “And that might not be a bad thing. I mean, most people are probably okay, just looking for company, you know? So – things like this – handwritten signs and stuff – in the post-cell phone, internet age, this is how people get together now, you know?”  
   
“Brave new world,” Kris agreed, his tone grim, an ironic smile on his lips.  
   
“I just wish Mom…” Adam’s voice broke off abruptly, and he shook his head, letting out a deep, shaky breath. “I just wish – wish she’d left a note, or _something_, when she left…”  
   
“We talked about this, Adam,” Kris reminded him gently. “The fact that she’s not here – it’s probably a _good_ thing.”  
   
“Maybe,” Adam conceded. “All it really means is that she was smart enough not to lie around and die in her bed, waiting to get better, like 90% of the population. It means that if anything happened to her – it didn’t happen _here_.”  
   
“If there’s one person that my money’s on to have what it takes to make it in all of this, Adam,” Allison spoke up, her tone stubbornly optimistic, “no offense, but it’s not you. It’s the smart, fierce, tough-ass bitch who raised you to be as amazing as you are.” She punched him lightly in the arm, an affectionately reproving expression on her face. “You think you got what it takes but she doesn’t? Show some respect, boy.”  
   
Adam couldn’t help laughing even through his tears, and he nodded, accepting her very valid argument as he tucked the sharpie into his pocket, along with the two others he’d found in the kitchen drawer. They would need them if they were going to make a habit of leaving notes like this.  
   
It took a great strength of will for him to walk away from the note and out the front door to Kris’s waiting car, already loaded down with everything of value they had taken from the house – and what was of value now was far different than what had been of value a month earlier.  
   
The emergency cash box on the top shelf of Leila’s bedroom closet had been left untouched, but batteries of all sizes, several quilts, and the remainder of the medicine and canned goods were all in the trunk, along with some of the more practical articles from Leila’s closet for Allison, and the few random pieces that Adam had left there on occasion for him. They would make a quick stop by Adam’s house before leaving the city, to get some things for Adam, and possibly some of Drake’s things that he had kept there, for Kris.  
   
From the front passenger seat of Kris’s car, Adam looked at his mother’s house for the last time, trying to ignore the broken windows and the front door standing open – because what reason was there to close it, anyway, at this point, and people were far more likely to find their note if the door was open – and trying to see it as he’d seen it before all this had happened.  
   
Because he was convinced, deep down, that this was the last time he would see it.  
   
It felt like saying goodbye, not only to the house, but to his mom as well.  
   
Allison’s small, warm hand on his shoulder, and Kris’s hand on his knee as he started the car and pulled away, were enough comfort to ease the pain, and remind him that at least he wasn’t facing this frightening, unknown world alone, as they left the familiar house behind and took off down the road, toward an unknown destination and an unknown future.


End file.
